#illuso headcanons

Thank you! :)

yes of course! ill be referencing my past headcanon and expanding a bit more so heres

illuso x reader headcanons

[sfw, gender neutral reader is a part of la squadra]

when you joined la squadra he’s one of the first people to tease you constantly for being a newbie. hiding your things right before your mission so you’re late. hiding behind the mirror while you fix your hair ready to jump out to scare you, holding things like your car keys above your head watching as you pout trying to get it. he can’t help but think how cute you look like that. he starts to even slowly ask himself if he likes you.

instead of waiting for his next chance to ruin your haircut he’s asking if you need any help, recommending different hair products he uses to keep his hair all silky. he stands behind you holding a few pieces of your hair as you measure where you need to cut eyes fixated on the mirror. you don’t notice his cherry eyes lingering on your face looking at each detail slowly moving down towards your low-cut top.

“you good there?”

you ask him still holding the scissors as he looks back up quickly flustered

"I’m fine what are you talking about?"

you’ve never seen him this embarrassed before, you knew he was dramatic, always throwing snarky comments towards the others you especially but it’s weird to see him so caught up like this.

after a few days’ weeks even, he musters up the courage to ask you out, he waited until the base was empty everyone else off on to missions before appearing from what seems to be the shadows holding your chin up keeping eye contact as he tells you.

"you’re going out with me tonight. be ready around 8"

before turning around and disappearing again.

"who does this prick think he is? be ready at 8? he didn’t even ask!"

you sit there dumfounded by his bluntness yet you don’t seem that closed off to the idea of going out with him. he wasn’t ugly or really THAT bad to talk to, hey its even a free meal you don’t have anything on tonight so why not?

as the night comes to life you’re leaning against the wall arms crossed wearing (either a black maxi dress with your purse or suite) waiting for illuso. from the outside, it doesn’t announce itself loudly. The building is modest, maybe a little worn, the kind of place you’ve walked past a hundred times without noticing. Stone walls softened by age, shutters half open, no grand entrance just a simple doorway and a small sign.

you feel a large but soft hand rest against your shoulder and you turn to see illuso, he’s dressed in a simple black suit

The jacket is tailored and double-breasted, worn with a crisp white shirt and a narrow black tie. The trousers fall straight, relaxed without being sloppy.

“you ready to go in?” his demeanour is different. he’s voice is soft

“uh… yeah your eyes maintain contact a few seconds longer then usual as his hand trails down to your lower back as you enter the restaurant.

and since then you guys have been together.

HEADCANONS

· expect multiple gifts each week, your favourite flowers wrapped in many bows with a note a gift card at your favourite store or a sweet note reminding how much he loves you. expect your hair to be the healthiest its ever been from the different hair mask treatments he spoils you in. your skin would be glowing by now if it wasn’t already from all the expensive skin care he uses.

· his hugs are firm and comforting randomly pulling you into the mirror world when you least expect it smothering you in kisses and warm hugs. (I imagine this man having the softest lips in la squadra he does not play about his skincare)

· he’s always needing constant reassurance. if he notices you laughing at other members joke or even sit to close to them he’s got an attitude towards that person the rest of the day silently accusing them of trying to get their dirty hands on his prized possession.

· I feel like he’s got an ugly laugh, not as bad as formaggios or sorbet but it makes you look at him funny from time to time.

Risotto Nero

This man CAN'T flirt

He's very soft spoken when he's not in work mode

He's probably been awake for 3 days straight

Fluent in 3 languages! Italian (duh), English, and Spanish

Has tried to learn Russian... That... Went horribly

Emotions? Who needs emotions with tits like these?! Somebody get him some serious help

Formaggio

This man is your skrunkly

Don't fucking deny it.

Bitch.

Despite his name, he's allergic to milk products

Has never had the touch of a person

Has gotten wine drunk

Cries his fucking ass off when drunk

It's over stupid shit too

Me too Formaggio, me too.

Illuso

I'm going to fucking stab this man.

Anyways

He's always screaming in the mirror realm

He's a dipshit who teases anyone for anything

He's at mass bitch capacity

I fucking hate him.

Prosciutto

Yeah, nah, he's actually related to Pesci

Fucking scary, I know

He's apart of a huge family

Like. 17 cars at the family reunion huge

Is actually a good brother when not on duty, minus his obvious flaws

Tastes like an ashtray with a hint of vodka

Do not romanticize this, do not kiss him, he is nasty but hot

Milk gives him the shits™

Pesci

Lord help him.

He's the only one who can consume milk products with out problems

EAT A DICK FORMAGGIO HAHAHA

He was a sweet boy

A very sweet boy

He's actually really talented in writing

But nOoOoOoOo HAM BOY INSISTS ON THE MOB

Melone

As a child, he was Catholic

Now look at him

I'll use my pepper spray on him :)

He dresses like a whore anytime he can

Yeah he's always got his tits out

He WILL speak to the manager

Has street smarts but no book smarts

Ok maybe a few

Ghiaccio

He's actually really sweet, civil to those who aren't his teammates

Also really shy.

The boy can play the piano! And he's a fucking master at it

He's got pretty bad depression.

Me too Ghiaccio, me too.

I know we say haha angry boy, but like...

Help him.

Also he likes cats

Hates being called little meow meow

I actually haven’t read PHF but I know the gist of Sheila E’s character and the plot

I hope you enjoy :)

(WARNINGS: mentions of parental neglect, divorce, death, child abandonment)

Risotto Nero:

Risotto is a 7'0 (totally not my size kink showing) olive tan Sicilian guy, abandoned by his parents after he first opened his eyes due to his strange appearance and cared for by his grandmother. (cough cough credit to tenthgrove for the amazing story) Grew up close to his cousin since he had very few people in his life, that's why he was crushed by his death. After getting his revenge he felt like he couldn't return home, and turned to Passione instead. I feel like he's got a thick accent and deep sultry voice (much like the one from the fan made italian dub on youtube!!) His eyelashes are definately long and white, and I feel like he has many brown sun spots like I do! He often bumps his head on door frames, tells a dark joke but nobody knows it's a joke so they just think he's incredibly fucked up, and when he gets into a car you can see it shift from his weight. Has no preference for tea or coffee, he will drink what's available to him. His hands? Big and rough, they're scarred all over and he wears silver rings. Has a few piercings like snake bites and an eyebrow ring. Dick piercings. His favorite food is pasta alla norma.

Prosciutto:

Prosciutto is from Florence, he grew up with his parents there for a bit before moving to Palermo with his mom after they divorced. His favorite memory of growing up is staring down at baby Pesci in his crib. He's 30 years old, 5'9, and has an overbite + tooth gap. His voice is somewhat deep and has an accent, but not as thick as Risotto's. Has a terrible habit of blowing cigar smoke into people's faces, spitting while yelling, and taking way too long styling his hair in that weird triple bun style. Is more of a coffee drinker than tea, he enjoys a good black coffee or an espresso. His hands are very pretty, like slim yet thick fingers and soft to the touch because he moisturizes them with the finest lotions and creams. Sometimes he likes to wear a corset in the privacy of his room, he thinks they're extremely beautiful and he has a collection of really detailed ones. His favorite food is bistecca alla fiorentina.

Pesci:

Is Prosciutto's half brother related by their mother. Pesci is from Palermo, and grew up with no father figure since he left and was no where to be found after he was born, Prosciutto made sure to be a big brother figure to him because of that, their relationship is unbreakable since they only had each other from the start. He's 22 years old, 6'0 and has a blotchy birth mark on his cheek. His voice is neutral, neither high nor deep, but he does have an accent slightly stronger than his brother. Has a habit of chewing on the inside of his cheek when nervous, tapping his feet on the ground, and let's people talk over him even though he hates it (my boy is socially anxious). Prefers tea over coffee, coffee upsets his stomach. His hands are large and slightly calloused on the palms, but very warm and pleasant to feel. Wears dark green lipstick because Prosciutto said he needed something "striking" about his look. His favorite food is caponata.

Ghiaccio:

Ghiaccio grew up as a troubled teen in Naples, often getting into fights at school which caused his grades to fall unfortunately. His parents were neglectful, constantly screaming at him until they eventually kicked him out when he was 19. He tried his best to survive on the streets for years having no where else to turn, barely living in some run down dingy apartment. Risotto found him in an alleyway when he was 25. He's decently tall, standing at 5'10. He has a habit of falling alseep in random places such as the couch or backseat of the car, yelling and ranting about things he barely finds himself caring about, and using up all of the hot water in the shower. Prefers coffee over tea, he likes the caffeine boost which is why he has a slight addiction to red bull energy drinks (if you look in his trash can you'll see cans piled up.) His voice is actually pretty high compared to his teammates, which is why some people (Illuso and Formaggio) call him "Screacher." Hands are medium sized, his skin is slightly rough on the knuckles and finger tips, and feel chilly to the touch. Has a stash of identical glasses in his rooms incase they break on a mission. His favorite food is frutti di mare.

Melone:

Melone is from Florence as well. His parents were also extremely neglectful, but he never picked up on it while growing up. Some of his odd natures like being clingy & touchy, come from lack of attention as a child, he just wants love and a family deep down. He's 5'7 and his eye covered by hair has foggy vision. Has a bad habit of not knocking on people's door/making his presence known before entering people's rooms, working late at night, shouting "Di Molto!" at inappropriate times. Loves tea way more than coffee because of some of the weird health benefits they have. His voice is light and a bit feminine (much like Enmu from Kimetsu No Yaiba). Another one with very pretty hands, slim fingers with well cared for nails, also soft and supple skin. Enjoys cross-dressing very much, not just in the privacy of his own room but anywhere, he'll even dress feminine to lure in targets at clubs and casinos. His favorite food is zeppole.

Illuso:

Illuso grew up in Padua, right near Venezia. His mother was not in the picture so it was just him and his father, until one day when he returned home his father never came back. He already knew his father was wrapped up into organized crime, it was only a matter of time this happened. Inside he blames himself, thought there was nothing he could do to prevent what happened. He covers his grief up with a cocky and egotistical facade to protect his own feelings, but really he just wants someone to give him affection. He's one of the tallest members of the group, being 6'3. He prefers tea over coffee, because he doesn't like the bitterness of it. Has a bad habit of passing through ANYBODY'S mirrors including the bathroom ones, acting like he's superior, and leaving lights on in rooms accidentally. His voice is quite smooth and pleasing on the ears but not actually that deep. His hands are average sized, thick fingers but smooth skin since he also used lotion. Likes to paint his nails, not just black but any color he feels like. Hot pink? Sure why not, fuck it. He likes the sparkly colors too. His favorite food is calamari.

Formaggio:

Formaggio grew up in Padua just like Illuso, with his father in the house. His mother on the other hand, was always out clubbing or partying. Unlike the others, his father was actually a pretty decent influence on him, teaching him the important things in life were the people around you. Because of his father's lessons, he cares for his team like brothers and is always trying to lighten the air by cracking a joke. He's 5'11 and has more freckles and sunspots than the rest since he used to be outside constantly as a child and teen. Has a bad habit of leaning one of his arms on everything next to him (including people), talking with his mouth full, and leaving beer cans everywhere. Doesn't have a preference for coffee or tea since he barely drinks either unless it's coffee in the morning sometimes. His voice is deep, lazy and slow, though its a bit rough when he laughs you could still probably fall asleep listening to him talk. Rough hands, calloused on the palms a bit, as well as a few burn scars on them. Secretly likes to watch soap operas and telenovelas, he'll tell you it's "lame and unmanly" but you'll still catch him crying on the couch eating a pint of ice cream because he was watching the series finale of Rosalinda. His favorite food is rigatoni specifically with red sauce.

Risotto Nero: 28, confirmed by Araki, third chosen for the team

Sorbet and Gelato: 24 and 26, first to appear in the team

Pesci: 19 (my boy young), the last one in the team, recommended by Prosci

Prosciutto: 30, appeared right after Risotto

Illuso: 29, fifth in the team

Formaggio: 22, eight one in the team, supposed to be the last one

Melone: 24, seventh one, recommended by Gelato

I'm curious about Illuso's clothing design; he wears padded clothes and elbow and knee pads. I'm not sure if it was something intentional or not, but I can't help wonder why he's over-protected.

Since the first time I saw him, one of my headcanons is that deep down he's a very fearful person, even if he's a hitman. So he may wear that kind of clothing because he's afraid of getting hurt or dying, since his job puts in danger his life.

And this leads me to his stand:

The mirror world is a safe place where he can hide and isolate himself, there nobody can hurt him because he has the control of everything. And if I'm not mistaken, stands reflects their user's desires, feelings or aspects of their personality.

absofuckinglutely anon

as usual no pesci and no sorbet and gelato

risotto:

would listen pretty quietly, enjoying it. he loves listening to you ramble, and he thinks its adorable how much you know and also what its about. will probably lean his bigass head on you and kiss your cheek and tell you youre made of the same stuff as the stars you love or some cheesy shit like that. loves stargazing dates.

illuso:

will smile and listen, but forget a lot of it. fear not, this means you can tell him the same shit over and over and he will never know. he’ll sometimes kiss you to shut you up but for the most part will sit back and enjoy you being happy. neutral on stargazing dates. he probably will want to fuck.

prosciutto:

just listens and occasionally will interject with his personal facts, will discuss whether aliens are real or not. wants to talk about the science of space and how its mostly empty. likes stargazing dates but theyre a bit simplistic for him.

ghiaccio:

will listen but not really. likes hearing you talk and seeing you happy, though, and will shut the fuck up so that he can listen. might even smile. who knows. loves stargazing dates especially on cold nights.

melone:

this bitch is just gonna talk to you about star signs. di molto my ass.

formaggio: