#ike-md

THE SCENE: IT'S FUCKING BEACHBUM'S, SOUTH PARK'S NEW "AUTHENTIC" JERSEY BAR AND GRILLE AND BAR. The place looks like the unholy love child of Sizzler's and a neon bar. Several small tables are scattered around with a large stage up front. A small crowd is there, but an entire section is set aside for "the bands." In addition there are multiple bars everywhere and what appears to be stripper poles. Also a hot tub in the corner. kenny mccormick *busts in all living-large style and looks around for any party people to party with* S-wow Tittybang *walks in with a large box with wrapping paper around it, some noises and movement heard inside, snifs and turns her head up at the bar* So this is the shithole calling itself 'authentic Jersey'..I wouldn't let my gramma get drunk here kenny mccormick *just kind of stares at Sheila since he hasn't seen her yet* Holy shitballs, man. S-wow Tittybang *Slowly looks kenny up and down, throws the box to the side where it hits the wall and falls to the ground, more noise inside* well hello there baby, you here for the pahty? *slinks in close* kenny mccormick Daaaaaaaaaaamn girl. *grins in a kind of horrified way* I'd like to see you party the fuck up Gregory Langsdale Oh, wow, what. *Walks in through the door just in time to see this nonsense going down* This is where we're performing, correct? Christophe Delorn: *follows after Gregory* Ouai but it's fucking bullshit, zis is fucking bullshit. kenny mccormick *glances over at Gregory before waving a little bit and lifting his eyebrows, pointing his head in Sheila's direction* Or partying, looks like. Gregory Langsdale *Sighs, running a hand over his face* Of course. Eric Cartman **Walks in expecting to meet Wendy, but sees strobe lights and Gregory and a bunch of drinks and streamers and party stuff* Oh... my god guys! **slaps hands onto face, shocked** What a complete and utter surprise!! **runs up to Gregory and actually hugs him** I knew you had it in you to throw an adequate party! Even if you ARE a dick and postponed it! S-wow Tittybang *grins at kenny* You're gonna see me party up, down, and inside out baby Gregory Langsdale And yes. Everything is in fact 'fucking bullshit.' At least there's- /what./ *Is hugged before abruptly shoving him backward* kenny mccormick Oh man this is so many kinds of fucked up I can't even count that high man. *just laughing and shaking his head a little* Nice boobs, Mrs. B. Christophe Delorn: *shoves Cartman as well, glaring* Fuck off, bitch. Gregory Langsdale *Completely shocked, staring at Cartman and abscently smoothing down his shirt* What on earth was that about? Eric Cartman **gets shoved, but doesn't seem to care as much** God you're a dick, but at least you follow through! **Goes over to a table and grabs whatever he can find** So! What have you losers got to show? Have you practiced your moves /at all/? **shows off room** This party! I fucking LOVE surprise parties! **shoulder nudges** You don't have to be so modest. S-wow Tittybang *has decided to get in and tangle hands in kennys hair* You wanna get a look at 'em up close? kenny mccormick *finally decides this is probably too far* Maybe later, babe, yeah? Kyle Broflovski *enters the bar wearing the gayest, most hipstery-looking outfit ever. Smiles in relief when he sees that half the group is already here. He makes his way over to them, looking decidedly less nervous than the last time they saw him* Hey guys.. What's up with this new place? I think I like the sportyness of Sizzler's better. S-wow Tittybang *gooses his ass* When you're ready for some action, call me *pulls a card from out of her tits that just says "swow tittybang, best bang this side of tits"* kenny mccormick *jumps a little and scoots away, shaking his head at the card before waving it at Kyle* Man, dude, your mom's all professional about this shit. I need some of these. S-wow Tittybang *walks over to kyle* I KNOW, Sizzlers is SO much better S-wow Tittybang Where's this place get off calling itself authentic Jersey when I ain't seen ONE fistfight since I got here Gregory Langsdale Of course we've practiced. It's a competition, after all. *Rolls his eyes at Cartman before returning the shove, harder this time* Although I honestly don't understand what on earth you keep referring to. What 'surprise party.' *Glances over his shoulder and notices Kyle, waving him over* Eric Cartman **Winks at Kyle as he walks in, but then returns to Gregory, frowning at the wave** The one you organized here, obviously! You don't have to act like you're not my friend. **Looks over to Kyle and Kenny** Should we tell them about our secret weapon? Kyle Broflovski *nods at Sheila* Yeah. My eyes seriously disagree with neon. It's tacky. *catches Gregory's eye and makes his way in closer, raising his eyebrow* Secret weapon? kenny mccormick We have a secret weapon? S-wow Tittybang Whatever BITCH runs this place is gonna get flattened *sticks out a finger and waves her hand side to side* gonna pound her ass to the ground for stealing my schtick Eric Cartman **looks at them dumbfounded** Yeah we do. **gets in closer and whispers** /Our little Vocaloid?/ Gregory Langsdale *Opens his mouth, frowning at the word 'friend' before snapping it closed and shaking his head* What on earth is a Vocaloid? kenny mccormick Oh yeah dude where is she? Eric Cartman **Shrugs** Sucking Kenny's dick. **Gives Gregory a smug look** WE have a front liner for OUR boyband! **Waves arms in a circle and then closes his eyes, patting his chest** WE, are Fingerbang feat. Chloe Mitchells. Kyle Broflovski *stares at them flatly* You found us a cosplayer? *blink blink* Eric Cartman **stares flatly at Kyle** /Kahl/. If you were at the MEETING you would KNOW better. **taps foot, staring at him with a judgemental glare** Kyle Broflovski *glares right back* I had some /issues/ to work out, Fatass. I'm here now. Fuck off. S-wow Tittybang ....cossplayer? That like ponyplay? Cuz I tried asking what we're allowed to do in public and that ain't kenny mccormick *eyes Sheila again, mad impressed* daaaamn. Eric Cartman FUCK Bronies man! Cosplays are just virgins who dress as japanese people to impress other virgins and they have ugly ass sex. **Backs up, and then slaps Kyle's butt** But we're all here! So how abotu we show them what we got? Christophe Delorn: What ze fuck is a bronie cosplayer *asks Gregory, looking quite confused* S-wow Tittybang Well I don't think we're allowed to do it on stage *frowns a bit* kenny mccormick Bronies are like, cartoon fetishists, right? Some shit like that? Kyle Broflovski *yelps and jumps and turns around to playfully slap Cartman's face, trying to seem genuinely offended* /Behave/ yourself. Birthday party later. Also, can we run through the routine once beforehand? I just need to see it once, and I can quickly pick up what I need to know about it. Unless it's basically the same as the last time? S-wow Tittybang What? Christophe Delorn: Fucking Americans. *shakes head and snatches the nearest drink* Gregory Langsdale What the hell. *Agrees, simply staring at them before fetching his own drink off of a nearby waiter* *To Cartman* I can barely understand a damn word you're saying. What exactly is 'fingerbang' or do I not want to know? Kyle Broflovski *nods in appreciation* Thanks.. kenny mccormick *looks at Gregory* Dude fingerbanging is when you use your finger instead of your dick. S-wow Tittybang *buts in* and it's better cuz you can have your thumb on the clit really easy then Eric Cartman **Eyes the stage, taking a sip of the Smirnoff Kardashian LemonLime** We'll just do the original Fingerbang dance routine we did at the mall, but this time, with more ass dynamics. **Sideswips Gregory, whispering in his ear** And "Fingerbang" is what Christophe did to you when you took that bath together. **makes a rude gesture with his hand with a smirk** Gregory Langsdale *Pulls a face at both Kenny and Sheila, before abruptly turning bright red, rounding on Cartman* kenny mccormick *lifts hands* Just saying man, you asked. Kyle Broflovski I can do that. *eyes Cartman's drink, wondering if he should get one of his own* I think he means our boyband name, not..... *frowns at Cartman whispering to Gregory* Or maybe he does mean that..? Gregory Langsdale What - that is /hardly/ any of your business. Are you /stalking/ me? *Snaps at Cartman and shoves him again* Eric Cartman **shields himself from Gregory** OW! Stop it! You asked and I just answered you, GOD! It's not like I can't hear you. The bathroom is RIGHT across the hallway! **Brushes him off, checking the watch** Where the fuck is Stan? We need to get on stage! Gregory Langsdale That isn't a goddamn invitation for you to eavesdrop, you goddamn cow. God. *Runs a hand over his face again before promptly downing the rest of his drink* kenny mccormick Man, Eric, that is something only fucking creepsters do, dude Seriously don't be listening in on people's sex shit that's so gross Unless like, invited or whatever. Then whatever. Eric Cartman **Gets up on stage, checking to see if there's enough room, giving Kenny and Gregory a confused look** It's not MY FAULT they're so loud! **Shakes his head, grinning at Gregory a bit before striking a pose** So our we fucking ready for this? **Takes another swig** We have to do this sober or we'll lose! And I am NOT losing on my birthday. **points to Kyle** Kyle! Don't jew out and forget the fucking moves like you did in the Rainforest Place! kenny mccormick *just sighs a little and climbs up on stage behind Cartman, posing a bit and winking out at any girls in the audience which is unfortunately Sheila* Stan Marsh Cartman, that was when we were like what--in third grade....? *Sort of meanders in at that, a backpack slung over one shoulder.* Eric Cartman Just get on stage and don't ask questions! **slicks hair back** We're so ahead of Euroteam it's not even funny. Kyle Broflovski *seethes, getting a bit genuinely pissed off this time* I'm not gonna! Fucking watch me, I've got this shit down pat, okay?! Eric Cartman **Eyes Kyle once over, giving him an approving smirk** Good. Impress me then. Kyle Broflovski *hops up on stage with Cartman, also striking a sexy pose with his hands on his hips* Stan Marsh *rolls his eyes a bit, but obliges, tossing his bag to the side before also climbing on stage* Gregory Langsdale *Standing sort of in front of the stage, pulling a face - not really sure what to think of this* Out of curiosity, why did you name your band after an obscene gesture? Stan Marsh It's a long story, dude. *Stan supplies, glancing off to Gregory* kenny mccormick *shrugs* Eric's a dumbfuck. Pretty short story, hahah Stan Marsh *gives a slight nod in Kenny's direction* Eric Cartman **Once everyone is on stage, Eric connects his ipod to the provided speaker deck and uploads fingerbangs single he for SOME REASON still has on his ipod** Alright guys, it's nostalgia trip time. Everyone one in positions? This is just WARM UP until we get the NEXT single written! Someone in the audience: TAKE IT OFF. Kyle Broflovski *waves in said someone's direction daintily* Eric Cartman Alright guys! Lets do it! **Takes shirt off and throws it into the audience, hitting play and enthusiastically getting into the starting position** kenny mccormick *glances at Cartman* Dude, no, put that shit back on. Man. Kyle Broflovski *takes his place near the back* Eric Cartman **flips Kenny off, but then starts singing the song - but in his ~older sexy man voice~ lolol** Stan Marsh *resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose, Stan just glances dully to Kenny before sighing in some amount of exasperation and taking his position* S-wow Tittybang *pulls out a flask she brought from sizzlers, like fuck this place is getting her money* Kyle Broflovski *sings his cute little, mid-ranged harmony on the chorus, dancing decently well in time with Cartman~* S-wow Tittybang *cups hands around mouth and screams at the stage* YOU JIGGLE LIKE A BOWL FULL OF JELLY FATSO GET OFF AND LET THE HOT GUYS DANCE Gregory Langsdale *Just goes for another drink, silently sipping at it and watching* Eric Cartman **Does the Dance moves like he knows them by heart, not even caring about his sweat and chub and partying it up like he was his beloved Justin Timblerlake - slapping his butt once in S-wow's direction** kenny mccormick *grins and dances, laughing behind Cartman's back like a dumbass* Gregory Langsdale Oh. Ugh. Unnecessary. S-wow Tittybang *boos loudly, grabs a drink from someones hand and hurls it at cartman* YOU SUCK Various women dressed "Jersey-Style" in the audience: *Getting pretty into it, shouting 'fingerbang' up at the stage upon occasion* Kyle Broflovski *smiles cheerfully, twirling around and shaking his hips like he knows how to use them~* S-wow Tittybang OH SHUT UP, NONE OF YOU TRASHY WHORES ARE EVEN JERSEY Eric Cartman **Finally gets to his solo, and he goes up to the front of the stage and gets on one knee, serenading to S-wow below** /And, girl you know that you're the only girl for me,girl. Girl, you're the girl of my fantasies, you're my girl~~~/ Stan Marsh *for his part staying to the rhythm, grinning slightly at the ridiculousness of it as the boys stay in sync and Cartman has his solo* S-wow Tittybang *grabs someone elses drink and throws it at cartman* "Jersey Woman": Oh no you di-innt. Who's that bitch think she is, telling us we aren't Jersey. Those earrings are sooo Hartford. Eric Cartman **rolls with the drink flow, feeling oddly sensual for some reason as he feels himself get splashed, flipping his hair back with a sexy growl and running his fingers through his wet hair, joins group and gives Kyle a suggestive wink** Gregory Langsdale *Just has no idea what to even think about this anymore - brain broken somewhere around the eighth 'girl' repetition* S-wow Tittybang Oh you wanna start something you psycho bitch? *waves finger at the woman* I was born and raaaaaise in Jersey and I got more Jersey in my little finger than you got in your whole muff kenny mccormick *still just dancing and trying not to laugh too hard* Christophe Delorn: *has been drinking silently ignoring the ridicness and is now quite intoxicated woo* Gregory Langsdale *To Christophe* What is this. I mean. Is this honestly what we're supposed to sound like? Christophe Delorn: J'sais pas c'est horrible Eric Cartman **Finishes the final twirl, LOVING how everyone remembered their stuff as he screams** FINGERBANG! **and then slides in for the finishing pose** Psycho Bitch: Grrrrllll I've seen all thirteen seasons of Jersey Shore and both movies I bet you don't even know what Snookie's favorite rump ranger is. How you gonna keep up with these Jersey moves. *Snaps her fingers and shimmies* You're cabbage. Kyle Broflovski *still grinning his million dollar pretty boy smile for the final pose, also pleased that people still remember them~* kenny mccormick *jazzhands* *laughing really hard* Christophe Delorn: *has been sort of watching Kenny and now cracks up, slumping onto the bar as he laughs hysterically* Stan Marsh *manages also on the final pose, also actually pretty surprised they all remembered it.* Eric Cartman **Gets up excitedly and grouphugs everyone on stage, even Stan** Oh my god guys we are TOTALLY going to be famous in this world I KNOW it! We're FINALLY going to get our fucking break! **Brings them closer** I love you guys! Gregory Langsdale *Claps for them regardless, drowned out by a good amount of audience cheering* kenny mccormick Eric, dude, you should totally buy us all drinks to fucking celebrate and shit Kyle Broflovski Ugh. I don't particularly want to be famous, but that wasn't /so/ bad. I guess. *grins* S-wow Tittybang *grabs the pyscho bitches hair* Bitch I LIVED Jersey shore Christophe Delorn: *slams his glass down for another drink, laughing too hard at the hazy memory of hip thrusting to actually ask for one* Eric Cartman **Holds Kenny's head, almost lovingly as he stares into his eyes** That's the best suggestion I heard all night - **holds him in an armlock, then eyes Stan and Kyle** To the bar guys! First round is on me, assholes! Stan Marsh *Sort of gives an awkward grin,* Uh--hah....okay. Kyle Broflovski *beams at Cartman being nice to Stan* Hell yeah! *then grins at Stan himself, looking shocked-but-happy* Psycho Bitch: Omagawdd! *Wrestles briefly with Sheila, barreling her backward toward the group* Stan Marsh *Sort of raises a brow in acknowledgement with his own sort of 'what the fuck' surprise to Kyle,* S-wow Tittybang *lands on the ground, but then flips over so she's on top, rips the other girls top off* YOU AIN'T EVEN WEARING JERSEY STYLE YOUR'E WEARING CALIFORNIA YOU STUPID BITCH kenny mccormick Fuck yess rounds all around dudes! Eric Cartman **Jumps off the stage and fist pumps his way to the bar singing 'where have you been all my life' before waving the rest of Fingerbang over** Choose any drink you want! I think I'm going to ge- **suddenly notices some presents on the door near the table, and he lights up like a christmas tree** ARE THOSE FOR ME?! kenny mccormick *girl-fight senses tingling and looks around* Dude-- oh shit dudes hahah oh fuck Stan Marsh *Snorts slightly at Kenny, but talking to Kyle* Man, jesus christ, Cartman must seriously be into this band thing. Psycho Bitch: *Claws at Shiela's clothes too, slapping her in the face* THAT WAS AUTHENTIC PAULIE D. Eric Cartman **Orders another beer and goes over to the present, finishing the smirnoff in one hand, chucking the empty bottle and popping open the fresh one** WHO IS THIS FROM? I DON'T CARE, I'M OPENING IT! **starts ripping it up** S-wow Tittybang THAT WAS KNOCK OFF YOU STUPID WHORE *rips up the top for emphasis* Kyle Broflovski *following Cartman, but walking next to Stan as they make their way over* Yeah. He seems like he is. kenny mccormick *ducks away from Cartman to watch the fight, leaning against a chair to do so, grinning like an idiot* Rickie Rycardo: *Descends upon the scene out of literally nowhere in a flash of purple zentai suit, christmas lights going everywhere as he toots on a lifeguard whistle* Break it up ladies, break it up! No fighting in front of the boybands! *Tries to pull Sheila away* ike broflovski *shows up super late out of nowhere, kind of mussed up and looking around* S-wow Tittybang YOU BETTER BE GLAD YOU'RE GETTING SAVED, MUFF CABBAGE! Kyle Broflovski *to Stan and Kenny* what are you guys drinking tonight? I had planned to perform sober, but I can handle one of something beforehand....I think. Haha. Psycho Bitch: *Is dragged away as well You're GAAAABAGE, you hear? I bet those tits are FAKE. S-wow Tittybang BITCH MY TITS ARE GLORIOUS *flashes them for everyone to see* SEE, NO SCARS! kenny mccormick *still half-watching the girlfight* Dude, what? Fuck, G&T all the way, dude. *half-cheers* DAMN dude holy fuck Christophe Delorn: *glances at the tits and looks super grossed out* Fucking 'ell, ouai Gregory Langsdale *Glances away as well, taking a long drink* Stan Marsh *Stan shrugs* Uh, I don't know dude. Honestly, probably just a shot of whiskey or hell, whatever Cartman's willing to apparently pay for. Gregory Langsdale Come on then. Before they start again. *Grabs Christophe's wrist and drags him toward the stage, nodding at Ike* Stan Marsh *Sort of glances at Swow, looking back to the front of the bar and pinching the bridge of his nose* kenny mccormick *just elbowing Stan in the side like a huge fuckass, still staring* Dude those are rocking I don't even fucking care how fucked up it is Christophe Delorn: Quoi? What are we doing? Pourquoiii, je veux boire plus d'alcool *pouts like an asshole as he's dragged* Stan Marsh O-oh dude Kenny, that's Kyle's mom . Gregory Langsdale We're performing. Remember? *Raises an eyebrow at Christophe before actually climbing up on stage* The contest? Kyle Broflovski *smirks at Stan's comment and in Kenny's direction* Oh, he knows..... Stan Marsh Aw-- dude. Christophe Delorn: So? *stands petulantly up on the stage, glaring at Gregory* kenny mccormick Dude like I know that and I totally don't even fucking care man Stan Marsh *snorts despite himself, but still keeps a hand covering half of his face* Aw jesus man. ike broflovski *follows Gregory up onto the stage since apparently they're preforming or something, avoiding looking anywhere in the direction of all the Jersey-ing* Kyle Broflovski *Tells the bartender to surprise him with something to sip on before he has to perform again* Gregory Langsdale *Pulls out his mp3 player, flicking around therough the various things Georgie had them practice* What are we picking then? This obnoxious 'Baby' thing? Stan Marsh *Sort of shakes his head, ordering his own drink and turning slightly to get a good look at the other band on stage* ike broflovski That's the only one I know unless you have something particularly easy to pick up on Christophe Delorn: *shrugs* I cannot sing zat shit worth shit I would razzer play ze piano pas problem. ike broflovski *waves a little bit at Kyle over at the bar* Kyle Broflovski *smiles at Ike, waving back at him* Eric Cartman **trying to figure out the god damn present, FINALLY finds the hatch and then opens it, REVEALING ALL THESE MOTHER FUCKING RATS.** What the... **starts flipping out, falls backwards and scrambles away** WHO THE HELL GAVE ME THIS? kenny mccormick *drinking by this point, looks over at Cartman* Sup, Eric? Stan Marsh *Stan looks over as Cartman yells, only taking a second to catch the fleeing rats as they scamper off* What the hell-- Kyle Broflovski *laughs hysterically* Gregory Langsdale Well. It's either that or something of our own choosing, seeing as half the band isn't here - *trails off, watching a sea of rats run around the floor* ...What. Christophe Delorn: *blinks at the rats, then grins drunkenly* Is zat for dinner or something, hah S-wow Tittybang OI THOSE WERE MY FIGHTING RATS YOU BASTARD Stan Marsh Wha-- FIGHTING RATS? *Sort of turns to look at Swow in complete disbelief* kenny mccormick *cracks the fuck up* S-wow Tittybang WELL YOU KEPT GETTING RID OF MY ROOSTERS Eric Cartman **Runs over to the bar and jumps up on one of the barstools, shrieking and drinking and cursing** WHO'S SICK JOKE WAS THIS? S-wow Tittybang *a dozen of the rats immediatly start heading to kenny* Stan Marsh WH--dude THERE WAS A REASON FOR THAT. * Stan kind of throws an arm in a gesture* Kyle Broflovski *doubled over laughing, can't even sip on his drink because he can't breathe or move* S-wow Tittybang WELL COCKS AIN'T NEARLY AS HARD TO HANDLE AS THESE AND NO ONE WOULDA LET THEM OUT BY ACCIDENT Gregory Langsdale *Shouts down at him* Cartman, shut the hell up; we're trying to pick a damn song, and it's difficult enough without your rat festival going on. kenny mccormick *whacks Kyle helpfully on the back, laughing just as hard* Gregory Langsdale God. Whatever. *Drunkenly puts on something peppy and obviously French, despite the fact that Georgie will likely murder them all later* ike broflovski *watching all this from on the stage* How do you even theoretically train rats to fight each other S-wow Tittybang *the dozen rats that went towards kenny are now climbing up him* Kyle Broflovski Aaaah, fuck....what the fuck. Was that. *grins at Kenny confused but clearly amused* Eric Cartman *Glances at Gregory, petrified** DON'T BLAME ME! **Sees the rats are going for Kenny and calms down, sipping his beer before nodding at the stage** Well go ahead! Don't mind me! I'm ALL ABOUT seeing your gay ass performance! **taps chin** Let me guess, will there be dry humping followed by some 'OooOoooOhhhhhs'? You're good at that... Christophe Delorn: Oh, ouai, I love zis song *starts to move around like an idiot, distracted from the rats momentarily* Kyle Broflovski *deadpans because of the rats* Dude Stan Marsh *Stan's distracted with yelling at Sheila for the moment, sort of pushing a hand to his face* Man, how the hell--WHY WOULD YOU EVEN MAKE RATS FIGHT EACH OTHER--jesus christ. Gregory Langsdale *Glares daggers at Cartman again before taking three steps over to Christophe, pulling him in by his elbow* He's been eavesdropping on us by the way. During - uh. kenny mccormick *glances down at the rats, grinning still* Hey buddies, sup. S-wow Tittybang *the rats on kenny just kinda bounce up and down* Christophe Delorn: Oh. Uh. Ouai *flushes deep red, and turns to glare at Cartman* Kyle Broflovski Oh my God. *grins dumfounded at the fact that Kenny can communicate with animals* Eric Cartman **Tee hees at their little whisperings~ taking a sip and ignoring the rat chewing on his shoe** kenny mccormick You guys need to run free, find little rat chickas to bang and shit. Wanna go outside? Gregory Langsdale *Several rats squeek before one rat rears up on its hind legs and punches a nearby one in the face with its tiny rat fist* ike broflovski During what? *Nosily butts into Gregory and Christophes' conversation* Have you been making escape plans by yourselves? Christophe Delorn: No, when we're fucking, idiot. *grins at Ike, figuring the truth is far better than lies* Gregory Langsdale During nothing that is apropriate to mention to you - /Christophe/. Kyle Broflovski *finally reaches over and starts to sip on his drink, which turns out to be some sort of girly fruity thing that is surprisingly alcoholic* ike broflovski Oh alright. *nods* As long as it isn't some kind of private plan or anything Christophe Delorn: Nope, c'est pas problem. *grins at Gregory too* Quoi? 'E knows what it is, c'est pas problem. Eric Cartman **leans up next to Kyle** By the way... you were.... pretty coordinated for a lousy Jew... **twirls his hair** You must have had an /awesome/ teacher. **chuckles** Stan Marsh *Stan just kind of leans back, pinching the brdige of his nose as the rats continue to scurry passed them* Kyle Broflovski *Rat 2 punches Rat 1 right back in the face and the two go at it hardxcore* S-wow Tittybang WOO, JERSEY RATS KNOW HOW TO THROW DOWN Gregory Langsdale *Rat 1 is seriously sporting a mean left hook, and starts getting down into a boxer's stance, faking with his right before moving in with his left* Kyle Broflovski Hah. Yeah dude. Myself and the internet. Best teacher ever. *smirks* Eric Cartman **watching the rats fight** Is this really happening or am I just drunk already? S-wow Tittybang *one rat chomps into cartmans finger and refuses to let go* Gregory Langsdale *Covers his face with one hand* That hardly makes it acceptable to talk about during a goddamn musical performance in a public area. *Sighs and just puts the damn music on, moving into their rehersed positions* Eric Cartman **CLAPS ENTHUSIASTICALLY Gregory Langsdale *Flips him off* Kyle Broflovski *Rat 2 is a dirty underhanded street rat, and he runs around Rat 1 in circles like an asshole* Christophe Delorn: *shrugs, still grinning, and trips over to his place behind Gregory* Sing pretty, princesse, hah. S-wow Tittybang *rat on cartmans hand refuses to let go despite the clapping* Josh Myers *somehow smelling the competition from a mile away, Josh heads in to watch the fight, blocking out everyone. just... staring. at the rats.* Gregory Langsdale *Suddenly spots Josh meandering around in Ratville USA* Oh, thank God. *Waves him over toward the stage* kenny mccormick *drinking and watching the rats in fascination* Kyle Broflovski *eyes the rat on Cartman's finger warily* Does that....hurt? And uh, yeah, it's happening. Kenny can fucking talk to these guys.... Josh Myers *shoos Gregory away, attention fixed on the action* Eric Cartman **Whispers to Kyle like a teenage girl, not knowing there is a rat in his hair** Gregory is totally my favorite, how about yours? kenny mccormick Hahah not really dude they're rats they don't speak english Christophe Delorn: Oi, Meyers,get your ass up 'ere and fucking dance *waves at gregory to change the song* Josh Myers *gives Christophe a creepy smile and wanders away from the rats, though looking back a few times, and probably bumps into one or two people on his way on stage* Gregory Langsdale *Starts belting out the lyrics to the contemporary masterpiece, Baby* Eric Cartman **Eyes rat, and just shruggs* Kinda? But I think it kind of makes a statement. Christophe Delorn: *gyrates around, pelvic thrusting a bit more than their choreography called for* Eric Cartman **Suddenly hears Gregory singing, and is mesmorized~** ike broflovski *totally misses the introduction and jumps in, two beats behind, not even dancing* Eric Cartman **Also Christophe's pelvic thrusting** Christophe Delorn: *twirls around a bit, leading the dance sort of* Josh Myers *shimmies on into the dance, also singing, singing his heart out* Kyle Broflovski Mmmm. *likes the whispering, sips on his drink again before answering* I'm not really into blondes. And I'm definitely not into my brother. And Josh is a creep. So I guess if I had to pick a favorite...that leaves Christophe? *laughs, catching a bit of a buzz* ike broflovski *kind of follows along vaguely with what Christophe's doing, still behind on the beat a bit* Christophe Delorn: *starts to grind up on Gregory awww yeah* Eric Cartman Totally. **Gets off chair and just walks to the stage, rat still on finger, watching them all twirl and asses and sweat and omg boybands are so super awesome and cool and yes** S-wow Tittybang *just swigs more of her canteen o' booze* Stan Marsh *finally, Stan looks up to the stage, still pinching hisnose slightly and sighs to himself.* Christ, dude. kenny mccormick *whoops up at the stage* Fuck yeah! Kyle Broflovski *doesn't follow Cartman and just laughs at his mesmerized look. He thinks it's cute* Christophe Delorn: *lifts his shirt up in Kenny's general direction* Eric Cartman **Has not taken eyes off them yet, mouth agape, but takes a sip** Wendy Testaburger *walks in, surveys the chaos, and looks to Stan* Do I even want to know... *shakes head* kenny mccormick *whoops again* Stan Marsh *Stan starts slightly, but looks over to see Wendy* Oh---christ...Wendy. *He seems slightly relieved* I really...really don't think so. No. Kyle Broflovski *waves cheerily to Wendy from his seat at the bar* Josh Myers *takes over on stage, getting his rap on and meandering all over the place* When I was 13, I found my first love~ *or however it goes* Gregory Langsdale *Is saved from the Eurogrinding by the start of the chorus, breaking off to try to follow their original footwork. Everything is just the worst.* Eric Cartman **Claps to the beat of the music, the mouse is just dangling off his finger and twitches everytime he claps. He also pushes some girls out of the way to get to the very front** Wendy Testaburger *pats stan shoulder, and orders a shot for each of them* Hey Kyle! *waves and beams at him* ike broflovski *has finally caught up to the beat at least* Josh Myers *nods in approval at Ike for finally getting it, whispering* As the street rats would say, "yeah, BOI." ike broflovski *gives Josh a look like he isn't sure if he's actually serious or not* Eric Cartman **still clapping them on, Isn't aware Wendy even walked in since he's in boyband wonderland** Josh Myers *is totally serious, thumbs up all around* Gregory Langsdale *Smirks before rolling his eyes and going down onto one knee for the big finish, hands out in a suitably jazzy fashion* ike broflovski *comes to an abrupt stop before half-heartedly mimicking Gregory with the hands thing* Josh Myers *finishes in unison with Gregory, 8D smiles all around* Wendy Testaburger *slides a shot over to Stan, and happily takes hers feeling a buzz* S-wow Tittybang *rats scurry into the band members feet and start fighting* Josh Myers *has to restrain himself from pummeling the audience with toilet paper* Stan Marsh *gives Wendy a grateful grin, taking up his shot and downing it as well, albeit looking a little impressed at Wendy despite himself* Wendy Testaburger *catches Stan's eye and winks at him* Kyle Broflovski *looks over at kenny, nudging him slightly* Hey. So, about that weed....? *grins hopefully* Stan Marsh *Sort of coughs slightly, face going a bit red* Eric Cartman **heart skips a beat, eying the COMPLETE perfection of the group as he jumps on stage and takes Gregory into his arms** YOU DID IT! You did it Gregory! **pats his back** You FINALLY accepted yourself for who you truly are! **cups cheek, and then plucks off the rat and delicately places it in Gregory’s hand** You've finally embraced your inner Eurofag. **Looks totally serious, moved almost** Gregory Langsdale Goddamnit, stop hugging me! *slaps his hand away and shoves him* Do you honestly have no concept of personal boundaries? ike broflovski No, he doesn't. kenny mccormick *smiles sadly before sticking both hands out sideways* Dude said he'd have it tomorrow, man, sucks ass right now Josh Myers *starts laughing* Eric, do you happen to have multiple-personality disorder? Is there no containing this... odd behavior? Eric Cartman **Feels offended, can not believe that Gregory shoved him like that and starts watering up** GREGORY! **covers mouth, can not believe this is taking place and just gasps, shaking** Why... why would you turn on me like this after all we've been through. **Shakes head in disbelief** After all we've shared together... all those nights where I could /hear/ you and /sense/ you... Kyle Broflovski Oh, tomorrow sounds awesome! Gregory Langsdale *Glares* He's always like this around us. Christophe and myself, I mean. It's rather disgusting and /oh my God shut the fuck up./ *Shoves him, hard toward the edge of the stage* Kyle Broflovski *doesn't need to be constantly high like Kenny, lol* Eric Cartman **wobbles towards the edge, staring at Gregory like a beaten puppy before falling off, no one catches him and he hits his head** kenny mccormick * can quit whenever he wants Kyle ok* Josh Myers I have noticed. *had an opportunity to catch Cartman but doesn't take it* Wendy Testaburger *gasps and runs to Cartman* Oh god, are you okay??! Gregory Langsdale Oh for fuck's sake- *Jogs over to the edge and looks down, somewhat concerned* ike broflovski *leans forward to look at Cartman on the ground and snickers* Kyle Broflovski *follows Wendy, horrified and suddenly soberer at the thought of Cartman getting hurt* Josh Myers Now then, where did those rats go... *walks away from the scene of the crime, leaning down to watch the fighting rodents* Stan Marsh *Stan basically stays where he is, grabbing the drink poured a while back for him and taking a swig* ike broflovski *trots after Josh* I still don't understand how rats are trainable to fight kenny mccormick *leaning against the bar next to Stan, looking over before holding a hand up to his mouth* Guys he's fiiine chill out! *shrugs and drinks more of his drink* Kyle Broflovski *Rat 2 has exhausted his running technique and is now flailing around vainly and getting beat up like a pussy* Eric Cartman *Groans, doesn't notice the sqiushed rats underneath him as he continues to stare up to the stage* Es diese... Schoenling. Er ist noch unschuldig? (Is this.... beautiful boy. Is he a virgin?) Josh Myers I would like to know precisely why it is that someone would train them in combat in the first place. Wendy Testaburger *looks at Cartman funny* Um.... what? *pulls him so he's sitting up* Gregory Langsdale *Raises an eyebrow in Cartman's direction, still leaning over the edge of the stage* Are you all right? Kyle Broflovski *frowns worriedly at Cartman* Uh....dude? *holds a hand to his back as Wendy helps him up* Speak English, please. ike broflovski So they can sneak into small places and attack people, I would presume Eric Cartman **Still out of it** Did someone count how many raindrops gather on top of the guitar case? Josh Myers Hm. In that case, we could use these rats to our advantage. *follows after the rats with his creepy gaze* Eric Cartman **Eyes everyone sceptically** Or did I just scoop up the Blanket Paper? Kyle Broflovski IKE! COME OVER HERE! I THINK CARTMAN HAS A CONCUSSION! Wendy Testaburger Oh for the love of- *holds his hands and looks into his eyes, very serious* Cartman, are you okay? Does your head hurt anywhere? How much did you drink tonight? Eric Cartman **takes Kyle's arm, calming him down** ShhhhhhhhSHHHHHSHHHH! **pauses** Everyone calls me the helicopter television set so there's no reason to tell the Garbage man to pick up the scuba gear! ike broflovski *blinks and trots over, elbowing through the crowd and looking up at Cartman* Fatass Kyle Broflovski *shakes his head* No no no, /you/ ssssshhh. You are /babbling/..... Stan Marsh *Stan briefly pinches the bridge of his nose, able to hear Cartman's ramblings from across the bar* Eric Cartman **Looks over to Wendy, and just gives her a dizzy smile** Did you get my picklepuss? kenny mccormick *just shakes his head* Man, dude can't hold his alcohol. ike broflovski *rolls his eyes* That's not a concussion, that's just retardation. Fatass, *snaps in his face* look at my fingers Josh Myers *bolts over to Cartman at the sound of his crazy blubbering* Interesting. And just why do they call you the helicopter television set? Childhood nicknames? Wendy Testaburger Yes, Eric. Your er, pickle puss is safe... *tries to hide her grin* Kyle Broflovski *snorts at Wendy's comment* Kyle Broflovski Well, if he's okay, I'm gonna go finnish my drink... Are we dancing anymore tonight? I'd kinda like to get sufficiently wasted. Wendy Testaburger Oh, Ky, get me one too? Whatever you're having Josh Myers Yes, Kyle, you want to... escape. Escapism through alcohol. Yes, good. Stan Marsh *Stan just glances at Kenny* Dude, I think Cartman's either really stupid or just...really good at hitting his head too hard. Gregory Langsdale Both, I'd say. kenny mccormick Yup, gonna go with both. *grins over the edge of his glass* Kyle Broflovski *looks at Josh curiously* Uh, no dude. I just wanna get drunk. For fun. Stan Marsh *nods at Gregory, not noticing him come over* Yea, I...can drink to that. Eric Cartman **Looks to Ike, and then everything sort of pieces together** Huh, what? I'm fine guys what the fuck. **Gets up, freaked out that everyone's close to him, then sees Gregory** Wait... **goes up to him** Did you really plan that out like, all by yourself? The routine? Kyle Broflovski *looks back at Wendy* Yeah, I'll bring you something. *smiles* Stan Marsh Routine, right. *Sort of vaguely sarcastic, but then after a pause kind of gives Gregory an apologetic shrug* Gregory Langsdale *Immediately backs away from him, extremely wary still* No, actually. Kindergoth coordinated most of the choreography. ike broflovski *rolls his eyes* See, he's fine. He's just a massive waste of space is all. *walks away* Wendy Testaburger *to kyle* thanks, love. *goes back to sit with Stan, somewhat annoyed cartman ignored her* Eric Cartman **Smiles at him, admiringly** You shone up there, keep it up. **Winks** But watch that attitude of yours, save it for the god damn stage. **rolls eyes, and then goes to bar** THIS SHOULD BE OPEN BAR NIGHT MAN, IT'S MY GOD DAMN BIRTHDAY PARTY! Kyle Broflovski *makes his way over to the bar to grab his drink and orders another one of whatever it is for Wendy. Brings it back to her, standing next to Stan* This is what the bartender surprised me with, called a Nos-nos? It's a little sweet for my taste, but I think he made it really strong, so....It's nice. Stan Marsh *Stan just kind of pushes a hand to his face before glancing wearily at Wendy* Want to...try and bring him over to Sizzlers you think? Wendy Testaburger *takes the drink, smiling at kyle* thanks! *to stan* yeah, everything's set up. I went before to put up the decorations and everything Gregory Langsdale *Rolls his eyes and stalks after Cartman, joining the others at the bar and stopping a little ways down from Kyle and Wendy* Watch that little habit of stalking that you have, and there won't be a damn attitude problem. Eric Cartman **hugs all the bottles, closes his eyes and smiles** I want all of it! **gasps** DO WE HAVE A FUNNEL?! Stan Marsh Yep, Sheila's set up....a few....surprises. *Sort of says unenthusiastically, glancing off back to Cartman* Might save us some sanity if we get this over there. Wendy Testaburger *walks over to cartman* Hey, why don't we run over to sizzler's for a second? Kyle Broflovski Oh yeah, the Sizzler's surprise party! We need to do that, totally. *grins at Stan* I'm surprised you're down for it....? Josh Myers *still on stage, Josh surveys the area, almost like a meerkat looking over the savannah. "Whoa, this is crazy" kind if thing going on* Stan Marsh *Stan shrugs, seemingly not really reacting much either way.* S-wow Tittybang *is glad that the ensuing rat problem might shut down this shittybar* Gregory Langsdale *Watches Stan for several moments, fingers drumming against the bar* Can I get you a drink, actually? You look as though you might need one. Eric Cartman **Offers Wendy, Stan, Kyle, Gregorym and everyone else a bottle, but then hears Wendy** Sizzler- oh wait. **Realizes he was supposed to meet her here** You're here! **glances around, eying the rats, trying to regain his composure** SO uh... yeah! I guess Sizzler doesn't have rats. **Glances over to Gregory, trying to look all proper but still feels bowling-ballish** That would be a proper thing to do, isn't that right? Establishments like this are so.... pedestrian. Stan Marsh Yes. Yes I would actually really appreciate that. *Turned to Gregory but fumbles abruptly as Cartman shoves a bottle into his hands* Wendy Testaburger Okay, let's go then everybody! *grabs cartman's free hand to lead him there, practically beaming with excitement* just now Stan Marsh *Stan takes a second, sighing and rubbing his face.* Right. Great. Josh Myers *spots a mouse trying to run out the door and rushes after it, scrambling out the door and leaving the scene completely unnoticed* Kyle Broflovski *claps Stan's shoulder a bit and quickly chugs the rest of his drink as he follows them out* Lighten up, man. He's not even ripping on you tonight. Are you okay? Wendy Testaburger *opens the door to a dark sizzler's. She switches on the light to reveal a fully decorated restaurant with a huge banner that reads "happy birthday cartman!" The speakers are playing music, and the bar is fully stocked* Happy birthday, Eric! *she leans up on her tip toes to kiss him on the cheek* Stan Marsh *Sort of cringes slightly at the clasp on his shoulder,* I'm great, dude. just now Kyle Broflovski *sniffs disbelievingly* If you say so... Eric Cartman **TOTALLY surprised now, not expecting TWO surprise parties in on god damn night** Oh my god, Schatz! **twirls her around and kisses her back** DOUBLE surprise party?! Where was this yesterday?! Just because it was SUNDAY doesn't mean we couldn't have fun! **Nodds to the Hot Tub** LETS GET NAKED AND WASTED! Wendy Testaburger *giggles at being spun* Well, what's more surprising than the day after? *winks playfully and gets them both a beer* to the hot tub! Eric Cartman **Falls over his own clothing, just, stripping and not giving a fuck and stumbling and thankfully he doesn't have his own beer** NO one fucked in the hot tub yet, right? I don't want to be swimming in someone elses jizz juice... **glares at Stan** /Stan/. Stan Marsh *Stan rolls his eyes as he starts inside, letting the door fall back behind him* Pool's fine, Cartman. Kyle Broflovski *gets to Sizzler's and orders another drink from whatever bartender is working; this time he gets a Mojito. Eyes the hot tub suggestively, wondering if he should join Wendy and Cartman. The idea strikes him as a very good one...but he waits for a bit, sipping his minty drink* Wendy Testaburger *bites her lip, hesitant to strip in front of everyone but strips to her bra and underwear and gets in. She takes a sip of her beer, and hands one to cartman* Oh, let me get your present! *reaches over to a nearby table and gets a small, purple wrapped box* It's hard to shop with all the crazy stores here, but I thought you would like this. *smiles shyly and hands it to him* Eric Cartman **Is in his boxers, but carelessly takes them off before sliding into the tub.** Oh did you? How thoughtful. So is this where you've been the whole time? Planning out my surprise party? **smirks, starting to unwrap the present as his eyes stay on her expectantly** Wendy Testaburger *shugs, smiling guiltily* Yeah, I thought you deserved a party. *grins waiting for his reaction to her present* Stan Marsh Oh jesus christ. *winces, gripping the bridge of his nose again* Cartman-- jesus, dude, put some goddamn clothes on. *calls from the bar as he relieves the part time worker behind it* Kyle Broflovski *eyes land on Stan starting to do work* Hey. What do you think you're doing? *grins and eyes him up and down, looking over to see if Cartman and Wendy are looking at him, but they aren't, so he huffs and turns back to Stan anyway* Eric Cartman **Flips Stan off** Fuck you! It's my party so I say everyone strips naked and gets in the tub. **Wiggles eyebrows** What's wrong? Scared everyone will FINALLY see you ACTUALLY have no balls? **Laughs to himself, finally getting the wrapping off and sees DOUBLE STUFFED oreos. Feels heartbroken for a second before realizing this Wendy actually gave it to him as an endearing gesture, and just grins at her nostaligically** You know, I stopped doing the whole Quadruple stuffed oreo thing in my world after you insulted me, but.... hm. **Opens them up and offers her some** I think I'll give it another try. Stan Marsh *Stares at Cartman in disbelief, just too floored on the comment to respond to Kyle* Kyle Broflovski *snaps fingers in front of Stan* /Hey./ Stan Marsh *is still looking mildly mix of disbelieving and reproachful, but focuses back on Kyle* What--? Stan Marsh Uh--*rubs his head, responding on his friend's earlier question* I'm serving drinks. Wendy Testaburger Quadruple stuffs are ALWAYS welcome to me! I don't want to eat all your present so we'll do the first two together! *happily takes the oreo* One... two... three! *both of them pop them into their mouths and sigh happily* Damn, they are still the best cookies Kyle Broflovski Why? *raises eyebrows* You should be partying. It's a /party./ And I KNOW you know how to party. Stan Marsh *Sort of looks at Kyle, seemingly slightly confused and thrown off* I...what? Eric Cartman **Takes his and eats it, lingers on the sentiment for a moment longer before remembering what he wanted to talk to her about** So, in your world, how exactly did we manage to stay together for so long without any trouble? That seems almost impossible to me. We were together before we even hi puberty, we never had interest in anyone else? Kyle Broflovski *grins deviously and chugs the rest of his mojito in three gulps* You know what I mean.... *makes his way around the bar to grab Stan's hand and physically pull him in the direction of the hot tub* Stan Marsh Dude--what---*he doesn't and kind of looks disbelieving, suddenly really wishing he was somewhere else. His jaw tightens as they approach the tub and near Cartman and Wendy.* Wendy Testaburger *Raises an eyebrow* of course we fought. We're Wendy and Cartman. That just made for awesome makeup sex *winks and laughs* Kidding. There was a time when we were thirteen... we broke up for about a week because Stan and I became good friends again and it caused some problems. It was really nothing, and we got back together shortly after. Eric Cartman **Baffled, but just rolls with it. Figures its just as crazy as CHristophe's world** That blows my mind, but I'm willing t- **Sees Stan and Kyle** well well well well well, SOMEONE is a little eager to get in here... **chuckles and wraps an arm around wendy, holding his beer bottle in his other hand** You know the rules... **Grins at Kyle** Wendy Testaburger *Rolls her eyes, but smiles slightly* Ignore him *nudges cartman playfully* Kyle Broflovski *Once they're in front of the hot tub, Kyle grabs Stan's jacket and proceeds to pull it off of him* Yeah yeah, I heard ya.... *it's obvious he's absolutely green with envy. His jaw is clenched a bit too* C'mon, Stan, I'm not gonna undress you completely... *takes his own cardigan and scarff off, along with his jeans* Eric Cartman **Pulls her closer, his hand draping veryyy close to her chest** Who cares about Stan, Kyle. Just get YOUR ass in here. Wendy Testaburger *is disoriented from her shots and beer. She doesn't really notice his hand, but leans her head back onto his arm* I want to personally shake the hand of the man who created hot tubs. I'm not even kidding... Kyle Broflovski No. *grins challengingly at Cartman* My ass is staying right here unless Stan gets in too. Kyle Broflovski *finally removes his T-shirt and shoes too, and is now only in his boxers* Stan Marsh *Stan's gaze looks relatively dark and tense as Cartman speaks, body stoic but is then of course completely thrown off of it by Kyle working his jacket off, looking at the other in surprise* Dude--wh--no, no, no, no, dude, what--*and at Cartman's words, bites down, tensing again, but not looking at either Cartman or Wendy, albeit again shooting his friend a disbelieving look* *Puts a hand to his face again* Dude. Kyle Broflovski What. *raises his eyebrows at Stan expectantly* Wendy Testaburger Kyle, get your cute ass in this hot tub right now! *Slurrs a bit* Stan, I'm gonna drag you in! Eric Cartman **Rolls eyes At Stan, waiting for Kyle to take it all off before nudging Wendy** So, did you get a chance to see Stan's non-existant balls in yourr world? Oh wait, you couldn't have! **Slaps knee, causing a splash and holds her in tighter, taking another sip** Kyle Broflovski Staaaaaaaaaaaan... *steps closer to him, grabbing the bottom of his T-shirt and slowly starting to pull it up and over his chest* Please? *giving him big green puppy eyes and a drunken smirk* Wendy Testaburger Says you! *smirks mischievously* But no, i actually didn't see that *snickers and wiggles closer* Stan Marsh *Stan just instead moves to stare at Kyle in complete disbelief, looking as if not sure what Kyle is even doing. Finally, still tensing on Cartman's words, gaze wavering on hard at his friend, he moves to pull his shirt off,* Yea, haha Cartman. *His voice holds an edge of a more annoyed tone with the sardonic usual aspect, even as he works off his belt.* Kyle Broflovski *happily watches as Stan takes over taking his own clothes off. Steps back, grinning triumphantly at Cartman* Stan Marsh *tosses his shirt and eventually pants off to the side, still not looking at the others after eventually just in his boxers, seemingly on edge.*

((AND THEN HE GIVES UP))

After knocking on the John Travolta house door, Eric stood by the front of the holding a towel over his head. In hindsight, the idea was stupid as fuck, but a dime sized scar on his head wouldn't mean anything to him if it meant he could have his free will back. Inhaling a deep breath, he leaned himself against the railing and starting thinking about all the things he could do once this chip was gone. - Taking his sweet time walking downstairs, Ike opened the front door, looking up at Cartman with an unimpressed expression. Typical. So excessively typical. Stepping back from the door, he flipped a hand in the direction of the kitchen area and waited to close the door behind the older boy. - Graciously following Ike behind, he glanced around the dorm for any candles or coffins before hesitantly asking, "Uh... thanks for checking this out for me Ike, but I do have a question." He paused, his eyes widening before asking him in a scared voice, "Georgie didn't... REALLY turn you into a vampire, right?" - Ike turned and stared at him, face flat, for a full five seconds before just turning around and snapping open the latches to his case, pulling out the vials and baggies usually necessary for this kind of stupid bullshit injury and snapping at a nearby wooden chair. - Eric didn't know whether to take that glare as a "you idiot, of course I'm not a vampire" or "watch it, I could suck your blood at any minute". He settled on staying safe and played it cool before sitting down on the wooden chair, towel still dabbing his head. "Well, I'll have you know my blood probably tastes horrible and there's NO reason for you to prey on me WHAT so ever. ESPECIALLY after helping you save Kyle last night!" - Busy arranging out his equipment, Ike felt one eye twitch at the mention of Kyle and promptly spun, slamming the flat of his hand onto the table right in front of Fatass's stupid face. Not as good as and glaring down at him, mouth pressed into a thin, angry line at both the whole idiocy of the situation and his inability to actually respond properly. Eric Cartman: Clamming up, Eric decided not provoke Vampire!Ike any further despite the fact he was totally telling the truth. Seriously. The last thing he wanted to do was wake up as a sparkley fag. "Right! So. You seem pretty pumped to get this thing out of my head! I guess the whole.. blood thing turns you on huh?" - Ike rolled his eyes. Of course it was too much to possibly hope that the idiot was going to actually think about anything. Instead he turned back around, pulling on some clean gloves and then reaching out for the bloodied towel - Once the bloodied towel was removed from his head, Eric had a feeling the smell of blood might make Ike snap in a millisecond. Gripping onto the chair, Eric tried to distract him with something else, "You know, Um. This one time? I heard that like, you could poke around someone's brain and they wouldn't even feel it!" And then he realized what he just did. "NOT THAT, like, I'd be cool with you doing it now, but maybe that's how they got this thing to work again!" - Ike opened his mouth and snapped it shut again, a whole lecture about lack of nerve endings and pain receptors dying unpleasantly in his throat before he put a hand on either side of Cartman's head, tilting it to take a better look. As expected it was a fucking mess, even accounting for the absurd amount of bleeding a headwound usually did, and he sighed noisily through his nose before grabbing for a few things off the table - The fact Ike couldn't speak made this surgery even more nerve wrecking, but Cartman just had to know how this was going to go and if he needed to go under or not. "... this isn't going to hurt, is it?" - Ike just flipped a hand in the direction of the little bottle of painkillers he'd already pulled. Flashing two fingers around, he stepped back again to take a good look at the matted, chopped up mess with another sigh. Not that Fatass fucking deserved any ibuprofen, since he'd brought the whole thing on himself, but it was preferable to listening to a lot of whining. Taking the little scissors he'd grabbed, he angled the blades along the back of Cartman's head and clipped before the older boy had a chance to fuck anything up, clearing away the wound and leaving a big chunk of brown hair floating to the ground - Cartman looked to the bottle of Ibuprofen, scoffing at it before begrudgingly taking plopping two pills into his hand. "What makes you think this will cut it? If you're digging into my head th- OW Oh my god you're already cutting in! It hurts!" - Setting the scissors down, Ike just smacked Cartman upside his goddamn stupid head, rolling his eyes and tearing open an alcohol pad. Taking a quick breath, just in case Fatass was going to flip out when something actually did mildly sting a bit, Ike pressed it to the bloody spot, wiping away the mess with a quick, practiced motion. - Just as he was about to yell out in retaliation from the slap, Eric felt something which felt was so unbelievably painful that he thought Ike did it on fucking purpose. "What are you doing now?! CHRIST! I'm SORRY that I knocked Kyle out, I'm SORRY I TRIED to help him last night, WHAT do you WANT from me?!” - Stepping back, Ike took two steps around the chair to stare down at Cartman, slowly holding up the clearly labeled little paper wrapper the pad had come in to begin with and slowly lifting an eyebrow in as obnoxiously sarcastic a way possible considering he couldn't say anything. As good as it probably was that Cartman wouldn't be going around improperly fucking knocking people out like an idiot. - Upon reading the label, Eric's faced reddened considerably as he folded his arms over his chest and huffed, "Fine Fine! But I bet you fucking held it there for longer than you needed to. You're probably LOVING this aren't you?" - Continuing to give Cartman a nice long contemptuous look, both for the professional insult and the implication that he'd love anything involving spending time with the older boy, Ike finally just rolled his eyes and grabbed his forceps, leaning back around to get a good look at the hackjob the idiot had given himself. - There was the silence again. Eric knew Ike was plotting SOMETHING sinister, so he started tapping against his chair anxiously. Just /waiting/ for the chance to call him out on it. "So... is this thing embedded in my brain? Can they like... read my thoughts or something?" - Rolling his eyes and wondering how exactly he was supposed to know that, considering it had to be more computer stuff, Ike just snorted and pushed Cartman's head forward and down, angling it for the best possible light before pressing the forceps in against where there was definitely something foreign and red amongst the mess. - Oh shit here it goes. Whatever Ike was about to do now could maim him for life. Who knows! Maybe he could shut off his libido PERMANENTLY and then bye bye sex life! That couldn't happen, so he decided to barter, "You know, Ike? If I come out of this okay and everything works out, I could like... totally hook you up. Like, when we get to the portal? I'll make sure to program it in like the PERFECT WORLD setting for you. What would that be, huh?" - Ike froze. Froze and frowned down at the older boy, not sure whether to just be incredibly personally insulted at the idea that bribery was going to affect his treatment of an injury or angry and justified that of course the person to attempt it would be fucking Fatass in more typical manipulative bullshit. Tossing the forceps back to the table, he snatched up the iCarly message pad off the counter and wrote out BRIBERY??? before throwing it at Cartman's face. - Eric blinked a couple times, not knowing the context of the word, but taking a deep breath anyway before answering. "I'll do all that it takes to make sure I don't walk out of this with something horribly wrong with me. Vampire or no Vampire, you've got to have SOME good left in you, Ike!" - Snatching the paper back up, Ike ripped the front page off and rewrote ETHICS before tossing it back down and flipping Cartman off with both hands, glaring. He should've fucking known Cartman would pull something like this, attempt some kind of stupid powerplay for his own worthless advantage - Reading the new word Ike had written, Eric released a sigh of relief before resting back into the chair. "Okay, as loong as we're on the same page Ike. So we're coolsies now? Even stevens? I save your brother and you save my head?" - Giving the hell up before he gave himself a stress-related anuerism, Ike rolled his eyes hugely and stomped back around to the back of the chair. He'd fully intended on pulling out whatever the little red light was, but it hadn't actually been hurting anything until Cartman acted like a goddamn idiot. And now Ike was frustrated enough with the whole situation that he didn't actually care, as long as it met that requirement. Grabbing for a needle, he checked the threading once and turned back to put in some sutures so he could get the asshole out of his goddamn house. - "AH AH AH! NO STICHES NO!" Eric cried out, completely at a loss of any other words as a boyish fear settled in. "I didn't sign up for stitches no! Why?! Ohhh god no, what do you want Ike I'll do ANYTHING!" - If he had to deal with one more person who was supposed to be older and more mature than he was flipping out about a few tiny sutures, Ike was going to just start letting people bleed and get infected everywhere. Smacking Cartman upside the head again for good measure, he started in on the sutures, working with practiced, tight stitches. - Eric started blubbering at that point, oblivious to how many more stitches he would need or if the damn thing was still even attached to his head. "ALRIGHT I'll talk. Kyle's not really my boyfriend. He's still pining after Stan even though it’s OBVIOUS Stan just wants to use him but he seemed pretty cool last night and just I won't pressure him or anything I promise!" - Pausing, Ike just stared, needle hovering in the air as he tried to deal with the fact that Mayor fucking Fatass was crying like a goddamn kindershit girl over some fucking stitches of all things. Blinking at the offer, though, he let the thing drop and hang, snatching at the pad of paper with his free hand and slamming it down in front of the older boy, shoving a pen into his hand and tapping the pad anxiously. Not that Cartman kept promises but at least there'd be documentation for when things eventually went to shit. - Spotting the notepad, Eric quickly rushed to pick it up and scribbled down, "I, Eric Theodore Cartman, will not pressure your brother to do anything lame or shit. This however will be revoked if Ike Broflovski messes with my head during this procedure. Signed, Eric T. Cartman." He ended with a sharp period to the paper, placing it back on the table before announcing. "So there! We're cool! It's all sunshine smiles and legit, right?" - Snatching up the paper and shoving it into his case before Cartman could steal it or something equally stupid, Ike just nodded and turned back to the stitches he'd started, leaving them in place and grabbing for the forceps again. Might as well do this correctly after all. Warning Cartman by flicking his head with his finger, Ike carefully dug the ends into the wound, probing gently for the source of the light. - Eric waited patiently, knowing that at least he had a signed contract by Ike that actually held some important to him if he snatched it away so quickly. Maybe there was something else he could get from this, "Hey, ow… Ike? What if I like, actually WANTED something cool like, do you think these assholes have technology you could implant in my head?" - Ike just rolled his eyes. What the hell kind of answer did Cartman want that Ike could actually give with gestures and nods. Instead he focused on working, actually feeling the piece and tightening his grip before slowly and carefully pulling out a little bit of computer-bit that didn't seem attached to anything. Snapping at Cartman, he held out the forceps, holding out a hand as an example. - Peering down at the little chip in his hand, Eric took a good look at and became immediately unimpressed. "It just looks like a little fucking lightbulb you'd see in an LED light? Is there even any coding in it?" - Scrunching up one eye and just staring right back at Cartman with an expression clearly begging if he was serious, Ike flipped a hand dismissively and went back to putting in the rest of the stitches needed. As though he knew anything about computers. God. - "Was that it? Is it gone now?" Eric asked anxiously, wincing from the needle still poking into him and wishing to god it could all be over with. - Ike simply shrugged. There wasn't any other foreign material in the area Cartman had cut up like a dumbass, and he just wanted to get the whole thing sutured up and bandaged as soon as possible at this point. If there was additional technology somewhere, it obviously wasn't harmful and therefore none of Ike's damn business. Tieing the sutures off, he reached over for a bandage, peeling off the backing and slapping it not entirely ungently against the wound. - "OW!" Eric cried out from the sudden slap, feeling back there and realizing much to his relief that it was all finished and he could finally check out what was in that chip. "Killer! That was totally bad ass Ike." Glancing at the table, he picked up the microchip to study it closer, "Who should we give this to check it out?" - Ike shrugged. Then, figuring it was probably going to be Kyle, reached out to grab at it. - "Ay! That's my chip! I should be the one to fucking-" Eric paused, suddenly realizing why Ike didn't want him to keep it. "Oh I get it, you want all the credit! Just because you pulled it out doesn't mean you get to flaunt it in front of everyone going, OH LOOK AT ME I'M SO COO- HAH WAIT! No you can't, because you can't even speak!" He joked, patting Ike on the head before sighing, amused. "Ahhh okay, enough playing around. Just give it back to me." - Shaking his head, Ike tightened his fingers around the chip and flipped Cartman off with the other hand, sticking out his tongue for good measure. - "I'm not above taking a kid out you know, but I've got prior arrangements and you're lucky I have better things to show off than a flashy light." Eric boasted, getting up from his chair and reluctantly deciding to give payment where it was due. "Thanks though, I guess I'll cover for you when we do go out to Olivia Wilde Garden. Dress nice." He eyed him once over before reaching the door, opening it as he gave one last snide remark. "And brush your hair." - Ike just lifted his other middle finger too, pointing them both in Cartman's direction in aggravation

"Oh jesus I can't raise my babies in Jersey" she looked shocked for a minute "I can't- I need some. I need some time alone" she quickly adjusted her hair and walked off, heading off to find a bathroom to lock herself in