#ihstf2015

Ok so I was looking at all the posts under the IHSTF2015 tag and it reminded me I never posted about it! Mostly because I didn’t have tumblr yet but still

So we got school cancelled the day we left because of weather, so we all got to school around 1:30 to load the truck and hit the road. I was nervous for days in advance but as soon as I got to school and found my theater squad I felt just fine :) it was a torturously long bus ride, they played rent on the TVs on the bus but I just jammed to some Zep and some queen. We stopped at McDonald’s for dinner, then when we finally got to our hotels we had about 20 minutes before we had to attend the opening performances. The people I shared my room with sucked but the guy I like (and they liked) came around to chat for a bit because he was rooming down the hall. We went to the opening performances and finally turned off the lights around 12:30 or so. I had a rough night because of the assholes I roomed with but it wasn’t terrible… Morning always rolls around!

So the next morning we got up and ready pretty quick, and had about 30 minutes to have some breakfast, convene for a bit, and have our 1.5 hours of free time before performances. I went with some friends to see a performance and so a workshop. The workshop I did was super fun, and the instructor knew my director which was super cool! Then we ran to have lunch and get ready for our first show!

The first show was insANE. We sold roughly 1500 tickets per show, and we had two shows. I could feel the awe people were in, which was so different from what I was used to. It was so ethereal and magical… I sometimes doubt it even happened. It sounded like glorified white noise when I went out to bow (I was the first cast member to bow hallah) and I felt so loved and happy :’)

Second show was almost better. The guy I like gave me a big hug before the show started, which was nice obvi, and the same etherealness and magical feeling that the audience gave off was so overwhelming. We had half an hour or so between shows, and the first one left me utterly exhausted, but the audience revved me up like no earthly substance could even come close to. We went to the dance, and I made arrangements to room with a different girl who I knew would let me sleep. Even so, I was up till 3:30 eating pizza and playing cards against humanity with some cast and crew members. Because everything’s funnier on a 3 AM adrenaline rush.

Saturday morning managed to roll around faster than you can say “Fiona” so we went to see pippin. Lemme tell you I wasn’t excited but FUCKING HELL IT WAS INCREDIBLE! I was so inspired and floored by the sheer talent on that stage, I was so proud to be a part of something so special. Then we loaded on the bus and just… Let it end. Letting go of Shrek has been so, so hard for me. I miss being the baby of the cast as a freshman with a birthday in early July. I remember feeling so loved and cherished and appreciated when I couldn’t find that in myself. I still can’t. Having that support system, that cushion to fall back on, was so amazing. I felt so loved and wanted, I felt so cared for, it was truly a feeling that can’t be limited to the four dimensions of a computer screen.