#ihrun

Gamal was ALWAYS a sucker for gossip. Any kind of gossip, really, but gossip about other demons - especially his shithead cousin - was just a bonus. He listened intently, but when he learned the secret, his mouth fell open in shock. “You’re kidding.” He couldn’t believe it. Lothaire of all people? With the king? It was a strange couple for sure, but he wouldn’t lie - he kinda liked the idea of Lothaire being eaten by baby spiders. Fuck family bonding. “Huh, I guess I always knew Lothaire would be a family man.” A horrible grin spread across his face, witty and wicked, and he gave Ihrun a little pat on the face. “You know what? Fuck it. They deserve each other. I hope they make ugly babies that enjoy the taste of albino demon flesh. I’m sure as hell not gonna be the godfather.”

“It’s as if we deserved it.” he said, barely able to close his lips enough to pronounce words with absolute perfection. “Of course, I can’t think of a single thing I’ve ever done to deserve being cursed, but maybe it was just a mistake on my part.” He attempted a smirk, but with his altered face, it looked more like an awkward grimace. He sat down on the floor, clawed feet stretched out in front of him, and patted Ihrun on the head with one monstrous hand. “Don’t worry, little shit, this too shall pass.”

“Don’t tell me you mated with that guy!” Gamal could see the resemblance, but he wanted to believe it was some kind of sick joke. Surely Ihrun wouldn’t have been involved with that spoilsport, right? “Maybe I’ve gotta get some incubus powers to at least get the guy to like me. I don’t think he’s ever hated anything as much as he hates me right now.” He lifted up one of the spider god babies, holding it high above him not unlike a famous scene from The Lion King. “If he caught me handling these little dumplings, I think he’d feed me to his newborns.”

“Right?” He agreed enthusiastically. “I feel your pain. It’s like a goddamn ocean of scurrying little urchin down there, or at least I imagine it is because someone won’t even let me see the babies.” He was sore about Azhekh’s naturally strong aversion to him and hatred for the mere thought of him getting anywhere near his children. But man, the desire to teach them some horrible language was so very powerful. “You know, I spent a lot of time stuck in a tomb, but I’d go back to that in a heartbeat if I had to spend the rest of my existence cooped up in a dwelling with my frilly ass cousin. I’ve seen his house, it’s horrible. Full of antiques like some Sherlock Holmes wannabe bullshit. So I understand what you’re going through. As for the ink stains…” he glanced down at the seat he had placed himself in, noticing the black stain on the arm of the chair. “Well, do you have any alcohol? I mean, for rubbing. Though, drinking couldn’t hurt either.”

It knocked the wind right out of him, forcing him to stagger backwards clumsily, a monstrous hand lifted to touch the reddening spot on his face that would most definitely be there to stay for a short while. “What in heaven’s name?!” he asked, moving his mouth to crack his jaw. His whole face felt a little off-kilter after that smack, but maybe it was just the pain talking. “What has come over you?! For the love of…”

Gamal wouldn’t lie, he kinda wanted to see more horrible little incubus babies. They must be pretty damn adorable, albeit completely troublesome, and both were qualities he could agree with. “About me?” he asked with a grand display of a hand on his chest, eyes glowing in utter delight. Finally, someone was asking him to talk about his favorite subject: himself. “Well, once upon a time, in the ancient North African world, I was a god. Did I ever tell you that? Mmhmm, it’s true. Some would have you believe I didn’t deserve that title, like that spider ‘king’…” he said his name in such a way that would bring into question whether he was really a king or not. “But it’s one-hundred percent true. And then some. I have no idea why they stopped believing in my powers, it’s such a horrible injustice. Don’t you just hate it when humans get smart? Well, anyway, I went into a loooong sleep for years and years, and just within the last century, I felt a tug returning to me! They’re talking about me again, believing in me; isn’t that exciting? Anyways, I could go on and on forever if you let me...Will you let me?” He flashed a devilish smile, fit with fluttering eyes and sharp, shining teeth.

“Is that true?” he asked, blinking his eyes swiftly. He didn’t like taking his gaze off of Ihrun for too long, but he was starting to believe what he said about not killing people. After all, if he could have killed him, wouldn’t he have done it by now rather than teasing him? “What makes me so special?”

Gamal absolutely could not wait to see what happened, hiding himself in the shadows as he watched Lothaire carry on his business, completely unaware of the shitfest that was about to hit him right in his dumb, pretty face. Lothaire himself was aware for a split second, seeing Ihrun flying towards him, but he was unable to do a damn thing as that hand smacked hard across his face and covered it in cold, fluffy dessert topping. His hands raised to the sides of his face, hovering near as if he just couldn’t believe what had transpired. Then, after the longest silence, he wiped at his face and grumbled loudly to himself, waving the whipped cream off of his hands. “I cannot believe of all the rotten, of all the ridiculous pranks! I have never been so insulted in my whole life!” He was pissed, but at least it was delicious.