#ihavevalue

I’m a little tired of being paid peanuts… I miss my out of state family. I want to pay off my student loans. I want to travel. I want to buy groceries with my own money and not food stamps.

wow, it’s been an eventful year yet one I am happy to leave in the past. I don’t know really what to say or think about it...I left a place of hard work and security for a place of greater struggles but greater fulfillment. Honestly, I didn’t know where I would be for this birthday. With a birthday right at the end of the school year, it’s supposed to be a time of celebration and relaxation with others. Well this year, I’ve done those things, just by myself. Everything I am proud of and want to celebrate is contained by myself. No one truly knows what I have been through with all of its ups and downs except for one guy who I can fully trust but never physically see. Its been a test of faith and something that I am proud of yet no one around me will see. I made drastic decisions this past year, something I am still fully reflecting upon but decisions I am proud of. I took many steps forward this year in all...well many...aspects of my life. In my social life, I’ve learned a lot of tough lessons about others and myself that I knew were coming but did not want to accept. Friends are supposed to support you when you make tough decisions and after the decisions were made, unfortunately many of mine did not. Personally, it was tough, yet it made me stronger and allowed me to recognize my value as an individual and not needing to always have a group of fake support rather than myself fully supporting myself. I lost people by personal choice and that was something I accepted as they were not positive influences. I made tough decisions to help me find myself and my path and refocus on myself and who I want to be. That is something I am proud of. For the first time in my life, I fully felt like I had value and a purpose without the need to be accepted by others. It’s great if others like me, but I learned that I needed to like myself first before I could accept what others would tell me and figure out if they were genuine and sincere. I took this year to focus on myself over other aspects of my life. I took a step back in many areas to fully find the most important part of anything I do, which is me. I lost many things this year but what I gained is what I think is the most valuable. I gained myself back and who I feel is how I want to be. As my 17th birthday comes and goes with little celebration, I hold this party right now for my accomplishments this past year. I have never been more proud of myself and my struggles and what I went through. The mistakes and the successes have led to a year of triumph through so much heartbreak. I do feel alone but the relationships I have now, I know are true and genuine. I am proud of what I have done even if no one else knows or sees an improvement. I now see myself as someone with value and that is more important than what anyone says to me. so, Happy Birthday! You truly deserved it with this past year, more than ever. Truly, there were some days where I thought this day would never come...so congratulations!

As I go into another stressful year of life, I will remember this year as one of great memories but also major decisions and one where I fully saw myself as a person who should be respected and valued. Whatever happens this next year, I will know that there is always something to be learned and appreciated. Among my struggles, the amount of appreciation I gained for others increased exponentially. I truly did not know what something like a loss felt like and how appreciative I should be for what I have that I took for granted. It’s incredible how something so traumatic changed my outlook and how I see everything and everyone. Anyways, as I begin the countdown to #18, I will remember year 17 as one of value and appreciation. I’ve been through many lows to reach personal highs and look forward to what this next year brings.

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