#igot2ne1problems

Ohona

Earth elemental/deity

Name based on a Japanese earth god named Ohonamochi (though he doesn’t really share much in common with the myths etc surrounding that guy, just the namesake)

He has control over the element of earth but also can manipulate anything under the earth so that includes metal and even minerals/gems

He’s the definition of a ‘gentle giant’ like he’s well over 7ft tall and broad like an ox but he’s the chillest and loveliest guy you’ll ever meet

Ohona’s kindness is freakin’ legendary. Even the nastiest of people would be hard pressed not to admit he’s such a nice guy they feel bad going up against him. If someone pulled a knife on him and demanded money Ohona’d fuckin give them his entire purse and then invite them for a meal and tea.

His big friendly giant thing means he’s probably classified as a pacifist, or at the very least one of those “Martial Pacifists” who doesn’t kill or use more force than necessary

His fighting style prioritises defence, the kind of Big Beefy defence trading on speed where he aims to outlast his opponents and keep his own attacking to a minimum. He’d much rather see his enemies give up than be forced to hurt them, sometimes deliberately letting them wear themselves out so he can approach and possibly talk it out with them without having to raise a hand

That said if he does ever have to attack he hits like a freaking bus on a train. He knows proper martial arts forms and everything so don’t think just because he’s a tank he doesn’t have skill or strength

He likes using his element to form shields and even armour around himself. He got the standard rock armour look down, but if the situation calls he can even scare up full metal or even diamond armour and shields

He is able to transform into a purely elemental form which is like a huge golem made of rock (like the MK Earth God). He’s even bigger and tankier in that form, but he rarely cracks it out unless it’s Serious Business and the situation calls for being huge and strong

He can also change up his elemental form if given enough time so sometimes y’all get metal golem Ohona or diamond golem Ohona stomping around. good luck if you ever go up against that.

Something of a nomad when he’s out and about in human form. He loves travelling, mostly for the hiking and scenery. I mean yeah he can teleport (usually as a small sandstorm or sometimes in a sort of ‘sink into the earth and pop out elsewhere’) but where’s the fun in that? He’s very much one with nature and his element and lives off the earth sort of thing, enjoying the great outdoors and sleeping under the stars

Brilliant gardener despite plants not being his domain, mostly owing to his naturally excellent care of the earth

Absolute animal lover and friend to everything that moves

That also includes the super freaky and dangerous animals. catch him treating a 13ft gator like a dog and getting it to roll over for belly rubs or calling one of them bird-eating giant tarantulas his hairy baby.

He’s really friendly and warm to humans he meets regardless of whether they acknowledge his power or not. He likes spending time helping them out however he can with his powers be it helping them do some gardening or fixing stuff up

He’s a talented hand in sculpting, carving, jewellery and pottery craft to name a few. He’s got a rather infamous habit of making some incredible pieces then just giving them away and fucking off, leaving people with these beautiful pieces of art which are completely anonymous and literally priceless

He always makes time to visit Hinoka and Suijin either separately or as a get-together. They’re his two best buddies and he is always happy to keep Hinoka company or keep an eye on Suijin.

Hinoka

Fire elemental/deity

His… is actually not a real deity’s name, I think i remember seeing some fan names for the unnamed MK fire god using it and liked it. sorry oddball

(ED) o I think i found the origin it’s probably from the Shinto fire kami Kagutsuchi who is sometimes known Hinokagutsuchi or Hi-no-kagutsuchi waddayaknow - he doesn’t share the same myth as Kagutsuchi tho but now we know his name isn’t completely random hey-oh

As a Fire guy he controls flame but also heat, being able to thermoregulate his body and the air around him. He can also absorb fire and heat so he’s like immune to burning too and can put out fires by standing in them.

His elemental form is of course basically a humanoid bonfire, though he’s able to not make himself wholly flammable so he can walk around indoors and around people without making everything catch alight, but his elemental form can also still burn people on contact through radiating heat. it’s elemental magic man he don’t got to explain

He’s a very capable fighter in both martial arts and also swordfighting as his weapon of choice. cause you know what’s better than a sword? A FLAMING sword. He also mixes in the classic fire-bending tricks where he can, fireballs and flamethrowers and so on.

Got a very fast and ‘keep away’ sort of fighting style where he favours AOE kinds of moves to keep people at a distance with the threat of getting barbecued or beat to hell. Expect rings of fire, explosions and sweeping fireballs sort of thing, as well as a lot of constant moving around to make it hard to pin him down.

kind of a hermit so he doesn’t actually really go out and interact with people a lot save for his fellow elementals. and even then he’s pretty quiet and shy and it takes a lot to coax him out of his shell

If you do manage to get through to him he’s quite a nice guy. perhaps still not the most talkative, but he’s not going to be rude or anything

He has a thing where if he gets startled or embarrassed he sometimes accidentally lights himself on fire and Shenanigans Ensue. It’s often a bit of a chain reaction because say you surprise him and he flares up, and then he gets embarrassed for flaring up, then he gets embarrassed that he can’t stop flaring up etc.

The reason for his reclusiveness is pretty sad actually. He’s cripplingly afraid of hurting people with his powers because he knows he can deal some serious damage with them. That’s the thing with fire, it doesn’t need a lot to get going and can spread very quickly. But because he isolates himself and stews in his fear he doesn’t have much control when he is around people and loses control when he’s stressed and then continues to fear being around people…

And the reason why this fear started is even sadder. A very, very long time ago, Hinoka once lost control of his powers in a blind rage and made a desert. A really, really big desert. Out of land which was once fertile and thriving. And inhabited. He still hasn’t forgiven himself for it and it’s really not a good idea to bring it up.

Because of what happened, that’s why he only hangs out around the other two elementals and any other immortals, because he knows he can’t hurt them that badly if something ever went wrong.

He tends to retreat to extremely remote regions and in very basic conditions, like a cabin or even a small cave, far from civilisation.

He prefers temperate to hot climates but like even if he was in the Arctic he is always warm himself so it’s not a big deal.

He spends most of his free time meditating and practicing forms in an attempt to de-stress and get some control over his powers. He also reads sometimes (though he fears for his books) and has gotten fairly good at cooking as a past time (even though he doesn’t quite need to eat like a human).

Speaking of his food the other two elementals always like dropping by to keep him company over a meal or to share new recipes/try his new recipes. Always an evening well spent.

Despite popular beliefs and stereotypes, he doesn’t like spicy food. Too much spice will hurt and then he’ll become stressed and because he’s stressed his fire aura will flare up and so yeah he doesn’t do spice.

Suijin

Water elemental/deity

Named after Shinto water kami of the same name

To put it bluntly Suijin’s like. a massive jerk.

Of all the elementals Suijin is the one with the lowest opinion of humans/mortals.

His reason is because he mostly spends more time in the sea and not integrating with humans.

And also because humans keep dumping their crap in the oceans and he’s left choking in it and clearing it all up so STOP DOING THAT YOU OIL PISSING FUCKMONKEYS

oh yeah he’s got an atomic temper and a vocabulary to match. being immortal just means he’s had more time to pick up some fantastic new curses to try out.

speaking of his temper he’s seriously got waayyyy to small a fuse and he’s so extremely hot-blooded there’s no in betweens when it comes to chill or no chill. one moment you could be talking about ice cream the next he’s chokeslamming you because you put sprinkles on it.

fun fact when he gets mad he often literally steams with anger

He also puts zero effort into his appearance when around mortals, his robes always looking scruffy and half-undone. see if he gives a shit what you think.

He prefers being in his elemental form most of the time, which is just a human-shaped mass of water. In this form he can melt into bodies of water and travel as a puddle, letting him go pretty much anywhere he likes. However he’s also vulnerable to extreme heat or cold in this form since it will dry him out or freeze him solid

His control of the element of water means he’s also technically got power over all water in all its forms including vapour e.g. steam and clouds. He’s also not limited to the water which is immediately around since he can call up water from any source or even move some clouds over for a top up. He could even create water on the spot from the air or dump a tidal wave on your doorstep even if you live inland. don’t try him. He’s also picked up some ice tricks, which also helps make him less vulnerable to being frozen

True to his personality and element he’s got a very aggressive and fluid fighting style that attacks on all sides and constantly moves and changes to take everyone by surprise. One minute he’s in your face with his fists the next he’s using Hydro Pump from a distance and then stabbing you from behind with his spear and calling you a bitch.

Okay so i said he’s a jerk and he is, but he’s also kind of a ‘jerk with a heart of gold’ guy in a way. For all his temper and foul mouth he can be decent to people when it matters. He’s still a surly grouch even around friends but he makes the effort not to be needlessly cruel and if his yelling and cursing genuinely upsets anyone he’ll dial it back and even apologise if he overstepped.

He’s also very loyal to those he is actually friends with. He may be a little intense about it, but he’s super ride-or-die and will tear anyone who threatens, upsets or insults his friends a new one. And he might not be the best with his words, but he would want what’s best for his friends and won’t hesitate to speak his mind with advice or criticism in their best interests.

He mostly keeps the company of the other elementals and non-mortals, though whenever he does make contact with humans who haven’t ticked him off it’s by the sea since he rarely roams far from his element.

Believe it or not, he and Hinoka are best friends. Hinoka is like Suijin’s one soft spot who he’ll move heaven and earth to keep happy and safe.

When Suijin is around Hinoka he basically does a 180 and becomes super considerate and careful around him. He won’t raise his voice and minds his manners, though he knows Hinoka doesn’t mind him grumbling and cursing a bit and it’s more he will be more mindful not to sound all negative and get loud and mean around Hinoka because he knows Hinoka doesn’t like it.

He knows about why Hinoka is so afraid of going outside and has been doing his best to support him ever since the incident. He visits often to check in on him and keep him company. He also knows Hinoka feels safer with him around because he is the only person Hinoka can’t actually hurt with his fire powers (as in Suijin can’t even get burned where Ohona can still) and Suijin can always put out fires quickly.

Hinoka is also Suijin’s biggest berserk button. Don’t ever insult let alone hurt Hinoka in front of him or Suijin will actually tear you in half.

Pulling out her phone to break the news to her… well she wasn’t exactly sure what they were to each other at this point so she decided to just go with friend, she paused as an idea took root in her mind. Dialing the personal number she’d gotten after a turbulent first meeting, Harriet anxiously waited as the phone began to ring.

“…Hello?”

“Mayor Masters,” she said, the excitement in her voice betraying more emotion than was professionally necessary, “do you know how rude it is to leave a girl waiting to hear back from you?”

“Ah, miss Chin,” he began, loudly clearing his throat, “how lovely to hear from you again. Calling with another enticing proposition no doubt?”

Turning scarlet in the back of her taxi, Harriet was glad Vlad couldn’t see her face at the mention of their last encounter but kept her composure nonetheless. “Now, now Mayor Masters,” she said, “ I wouldn’t want to spoil you just yet. Besides, what you call a proposition, I call another opportunity for some old friends to reconnect, this weekend, maybe?”

There was a bit of hesitation on Vlad’s end as Harriet heard the muffled sounds of arguing but she simply waited for him to give a response.“Oh, well I definitely have some things to move around,” he began, the outcome of his quarrel unsure, “but this has been a… stressful week for me, so… yes, I’d love to get together. Do you have a venue planned or should I make a reservation somewhere so we can further, ah, discuss future arrangements?”

Mentally celebrating her victory, Harriet quietly composed herself for the negotiation’s killing blow.  “No,no, I’ve got it all planned out,” she said, a devilish grin spreading across her face, “you just be ready.”

“Excellent, just send me the details when you get a chance then, but right now I’m afraid I have an… annoyance…  to deal with. Ta-ta.”

“Vladimir Sebastian Masters,” she teased, “are you embarrassed by a little exposed skin?”

Still smiling to herself as they drove over the Elmerton bridge, Harriet began composing the details. “I hope you enjoy latex and sweat, mister mayor,” she said to herself before hitting send, “because we have a busy weekend ahead of us.”

----------

As Vlad attempted to cover his chest for the sixth time since they’d arrived, Harriet couldn’t help but laugh.

Burying his face in his hands and shaking his head as she adjusted the straps of her boots, his cheeks flushed a deep crimson as they made their way into the crowded convention center. He knew he should have been more insistent on the details before he agreed to anything but his overconfidence in his ability to manipulate a situation had once again left him caught off guard.

“Harriet,” he began, keeping his eyes level under the brim of his hat, partially to avoid tripping and partially to avoid making eye contact with the various women they were passing, “when you told me to wear something appropriate, I thought we’d be going somewhere more… distinguished.”

“C’mon Vladdy,” Harriet said, an evil smile dancing on her face, “what’s more distinguished than that.”

As if on queue, a large man whose outfit consisted mostly of leather straps and knife sheaths walked past the pair of them, taking extra time to compliment Vlad on his costume and causing Harriet to finally lose her grip on her laughter as she led them away. All things considered, it would have been easy for her for just to reschedule her plans around the convention she’d been assigned to for the weekend, but that would have been letting that prick Lance Thunder get the best of her, and she’d sooner have died. So, here they were, standing in the midst of the state’s second largest Comic Convention dressed like-

“A joke,” Vlad said, still hiding his face from the masses, “I feel like a walking joke.”

After receiving Harriet’s text a few days ago, he had taken extreme caution in choosing an appropriate costume for the occasion. Now though, walking past booths and crowds in such a stark contrast to his companion - who wore a simple outfit of black jeans and a red shirt with a faded wonder woman symbol on it- he found himself embarrassed.

“Oh lighten up, mister mayor,” she said, hooking her arm around his in a show of solidarity, “I think it’s cute you went through all this trouble just for lil ol’ me.”

Giving her a half smile for a half truth, Vlad began to relax. Being honest with himself, he knew that his reasons for going over the top with his thunder god costume were only partially about fulfilling Harriet’s desires. No, more than that he was making up for lost time. During the years of his ecto acne affliction, Vlad had missed dozens of conventions out of fear of attention being called to his disproportionately marred face. But now, being here with Harriet reminded him of the better times from college; the late nights laughing with Jack as they attempted to beat their Pac-Man and Burger Time high scores, the three of them cheering Harriet on during her track races, the time Jack threw Elmer Heart into the fountain for calling the girls “Ching Chong Chin and Mildew Maddie” after they’d waved him off during one of his drunk episodes …all good memories he’d shoved into a dark recess in his mind for some reason.

Temporarily lost in actual enjoyable memories for once, Vlad allowed himself to fully smile and tilt his head up. As his unrestricted gray hair draped his shoulders and his confidence returned, he proudly fell into step beside Harriet. However, all it took was momentary eye contact with another chainmail bikini warrior to cause him to cast his glances downward again.

“Okay,” Harriet announced, looking mildly annoyed at her watch, “I’m supposed to be interviewing this guy in like twenty minutes for an online article, after that, we grab a bite, then we get you out of those clothes and go salvage what light we can out of this day. You're gonna be okay while I run this guy down.”

Sweet sugar on cinnamon rolls, he thought, blushing furiously at the sight of so much free skin around him, baby steps.

Vlad noticed that the last sentence wasn’t a question so much as it was a command, but he nodded agreement nonetheless.

“Great,” she said, pulling out a tape recorder and whipping around, “never thought I’d say these words again but: meet me in the food court in forty-five, I’ll even let you decide what poison we put in our body from this death trap. Aaaaaaaaand break.”

To her credit, it was exactly forty five minutes until she reappeared, striding through the crowd and only looking moderately annoyed as she pulled up the chair across from Vlad.

“I trust the interview went well?”

Glaring as she snatched the cup from in front  of him and took and long drink, Harriet sighed. “I swear, what do men have against using deodorant or showering? If you’re meeting with someone to talk about your ‘revolutionary’ new project, it’s not too much to ask that you at least have the decency to introduce yourself to soap and water beforehand, right? Ughhh.”

“Ah, well at least you got your story, right?”

“Oh yeah, ‘nerds excited for new nerd shit,’ more groundbreaking news at five.”

Feeling slight pity for her, Vlad offered her the pretzel he’d been nursing since they diverged.

“My hero,” she said, a slight smile pulling at her lips, “ I also appreciate you keeping the costume on while you waited.”

The costume…oh god the costume. Vlad suddenly became very aware that he was still dressed as Raiden, god of thunder in a massively crowded room with countless witnesses. Attempting some form of suave recovery for this revelation, he removed his hat to meet her eyes over their comically small table.

“I figured after our… disastrous last meeting,  I owed you some form of levity, besides, no one will ever believe you.”

“You’re underestimating me if you think you’re off record right now, mister mayor. But if I were off record... I’d like to personally apologize for getting shafted by that blonde idiot into writing a puff piece for NerdCon when we should be doing almost anything else right now.”

“No apologies necessary,” he said, “this is far from the biggest indignity I’ve suffered since being elected into office… off record of course.”

Feeling the twinges of pulitzer-prize winning hunger coming on, Harriet began setting up the killing blow. “So, on the record now, how about an exclusive for me: why the pajamas? What does Raiden mean to you?”

Narrowing his eyes as the game began, Vlad pulled his cup back and smiled. “Ah, after another mayoral exclusive, I see?”

“Maybe, maybe not, but if this nerd shit doesn’t pull readers I’d like to have a fall back to shove into Lance’s punk ass face if he tries me again.”

He could respect that line of logic. “Tsk tsk tsk, such language. But I suppose I could throw you a bone.”

God I wish, Harriet thought, her face a mask of calculation. Shutting that thought down before it could marinate longer, she refocused on the absurdity of interviewing her former college friend -who was now the mayor- while he was dressed like a video game deity.

“Simply put, it’s about power. The people love him, and in turn he’s able to protect them without the interference of their own ignorance.”

Seeing the hunger in her eyes intensify as he spoke, Vlad began to elaborate. “When I ran for mayor, I had one goal in mind-”

Vengeance

“-taking the problems out of the people’s hands and bearing the responsibility for them. And like I said, they love him for it. There’s no fear, there’s no resentment, there’s the simple understanding that a god has spoken and he knows what’s best. He’s also not too bad in a fight if it comes down to it, but most people know better than to test him. Suffice it to say he’s an insurmountable power in the guise of a man. ”

“And is that what you want from this position, Mayor Masters? Power to shape to the world? Presidential ambitions maybe?”

“No, Ms. Chin,” he said, his eyes taking on an almost dreamlike quality, making his smile sadder than it previously was but also more sinister, “I’m afraid you’ve misunderstood me. I’m rich, dear, by that logic alone I already have the power to change this world anyway I see fit, but before that, I have to show the people that I know the way.”

“Hmm,” she said, momentarily stunned by the intensity in his voice, “spoken like a true politician.”

“I am what I am, Harriet,” he responded, “it’s like I told Daniel months ago… it’s chess really, you have to stay moves ahead.”

“Mhmm, so is that why you’re dressed like Gandalf’s electrician brother while drinking an overpriced mall smoothie? Some really advanced tactics at play?”

It’s amazing how much truth can come out when you’ve made the decision to underestimate your opponent in a game you weren’t aware had started. “Obviously I’m only gaining your favor to use you later once the citizens turn on me after discovering the skeletons in my closet.”

“My mother was right then, you do only want me for my body, ugh, men… you’re all the same.”

“Darling trust me, I’m an entirely different breed.”

“Oh yeah,” she asked, narrowing her eyes, “is that why ghosts keep blowing up your house?”

Simply. Amazing.

“I believe that’s a conversation for another day,” he responded, watching the cosplayers pass by then, “preferably one where we aren’t surrounded by half naked strangers draped in latex.”

“Well you’re no fun.”

“Again, I’m rich dear, I don’t have to be fun.”

“Alright, moneybags,” she teased, taking his hat and adjusting it onto her own head, “I believe you were in charge of lunch plans, and I know ol’ ‘Vlad the Inhaler’ isn’t gonna be full off some kiosk smoothie full of berries the seller can’t even pronounce and a pretzel, so what’ll it be?”

“Well seeing as I doubt you’re putting yourself on the menu-”

The voice in Harriet’s head had a field day with that scenario but her face held only a minute amount of interest.

“-I’ve decided that we’re going to leave, there’s a steakhouse near here that has a porterhouse simply beyond words, and I think we’ve both suffered enough indignation that we deserve it.”

“And should the silverware start floating again?”

“Well…  I’ve always wanted to own a restaurant.”

“You do know how to show a girl a good time,” she said, hooking her arms through his despite the embarrassed look he was trying to hide, “still, I’m sorry to have dragged you here and put you on the back burner.”

“Please,” he said, holding up a previously unseen bag from under the table, “it isn’t as though I’m walking away entirely empty handed.”

Watching as she inquisitively raised her eyebrow and the corner of her mouth peaked into a smile, Vlad found himself unable to meet her eyes. “I’m allowed to enjoy myself Harriet, there are worse things in the world than a self made man broadening his horizons.”

“Are these horizons broad enough for you to keep your snazzy costume on through dinner?”

Laughing, Vlad began using his free hand to pull his curtain of hair back into its usual ponytail, already craving the feeling of being in formal wear again. “Sweet caramel corn no, as soon as we exit this building I’m finding a tailor, a furnace to dispose of the evidence and swearing you to silence.”