#ignoring your problems

Something absolutely terrible has happened Readers! I write this now while On The Lam, as things have gone a little sideways. It turns out you can only Ignore Your Problems for so long?!

They all seemed to find out where I live, and came hunting for me in the night! Drunk bar-goers and Neighbours teaming up with copious amounts of Fire, who could have possibly seen that coming? I absconded as soon as they tripped my numerous alarms, and vanished into the shadows. But I thought to myself, I might as well make the most of the situation!

As I Sprinted from cover to cover, I took stock of myself. I wasn't particularly winded, but my pulse was pounding and I realized how invigorated I felt! Almost as if there were a... mental benefit in physically pushing yourself? I know it sounds like the ravings of a madman but I tell you now that's what was going through my mind at the time.

Eventually I started to run out of hiding places, so I Took Off for the high ground. I heard them behind me Readers, and they did not sound happy (I'm still puzzled by how that could be, as I literally did nothing to them.) With nothing left for it I Ran as fast as I could up the hill, zig-zagging back down and up again with reckless abandon and I lost half of my pursuers doing that alone! It was like they didn't have the stamina, fortitude, or resolve to keep up with this kind of confident exertion. I on the other hand, was positively exhilarated!

The remaining pursuers were evidently a cut above the rest.  Seeing through my Up-and-Down Antics, they continued straight through, conserving their energy. But as I’m sure you no doubt guessed, I duped them as well Confidants. I slowed my pace down, letting them get within arm's reach and slowing down themselves, before taking off again at my Greatest Pace. I continued these Evasive Intervals for what felt like entire minutes before I realized I had completely lost my Problems once and for all.

I'm not going to lie Readers, as dangerous as it sounds I have no choice but to recklessly recommend this course of action. Physically hitting the streets and Fleeing from all of my Concerns has given me a confidence boost the likes of which I have never experienced. It's like some sort of... Runner's High. All I can say is go out and try it yourself. Bring an Axe if you like!

I've learned a lot from the last few reviews. The path to feeling better about oneself is to not worry about it. So obviously the path to true confidence is not to worry about anything. Which led to a problem of sorts. After all, how can you Not Worry about anything if you don't have anything to worry about? My first order of business would be to collect enough problems that I could actually put Ignorance through its paces.