Anyone else ever have the wish that everyone would stop caring for you, that they'd stop feeling love for you, because you don't want them to hurt when you die? That you wish you'd die, but without the people you love having to hurt and grieve, without having to bear the loss of you? My parents had me young, out of genuine fear my mother may never have kids otherwise. They PLANNED me, and yet I'm still the biggest disappointment they could have for a son. I'm just functional enough to know what I did wrong, but not functional enough to make change. I wish God never made me sometimes, to spare my parents the embarrassment of having a 26 year old, virgin, dateless, kissless, loveless autistic motherfucking failure of a "man" living with them still
