By Howard Shapiro

In the new reality of staying home and in place many of us are sorting it out with each day. In Washington State we are in our fourth full week of ‘stay home, stay healthy’. Being at home has given me some time to think about so many things. Among them have been how I spent the spring of 2017 and 2018. I was in Southern California walking those PCT sections. Prior to that time my work schedule just wouldn’t have allowed me to take on ‘the desert’. With a change in schedule/retirement, I knew I had to go to the desert and I did. 

By happenstance I got to experience the ‘super bloom’ of 2017 and found no shortage of water in either 2017 or 2018. The weather was also cooperative.  My hikes were strikingly successful, meaningful, and impactful. I shared time with dear friends and also experienced what being alone was all about. I met people who became new friends. I discovered some confidence I didn’t know I could tap into. 

In 2019, after many years of sectioning the PCT, I walked my last sections to complete the trail. Here I am in the spring of 2020  and the trail is closed. That has never happened before. Sections have closed due to fire but not all 2600 miles because of a virus. Some people had already set out and most if not all got the word and left the trail. Sadly, even in the short time the trail was open at least one hiker lost their life. Since the closure the Sierras have been hit with late winter/early spring snow storms. These have blanketed the trail from Idyllwild north. Travel would likely be treacherous for all those starting the PCT this spring.

Being home, I have been imagining the thoughts and feelings of so many who either started then stopped or those that never got to start at all. The adage of ‘all dressed up and nowhere to go’ comes to mind. It takes a lot of logistics, planning, thought, and grit to decide to do any part of the PCT. It doesn’t matter if you do a section or all of the sections. It really requires a whole lot of determination.

One feeling that must be on a lot of people’s minds and in their hearts is disappointment. What a powerful feeling. Disappointment can be defined more than one way. As a noun [it is] sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations. Some synonyms include dismay, dissatisfaction, frustration, and letdown. All those words and descriptions seem to capture the sense fo what many may be feeling right now. 

One journalist, Chris Kenning, summed it up this way, “...the pandemics unsparing ability to torpedo even our most pivotal moments has nonetheless brought a mix of crushing disappointment, on the fly workarounds and life affirming shifts in perspective.” Many have had their plans ‘torpedoed’. Coming up with ‘workarounds’ may still be possible for 2020 but maybe not. Shifts in perspective is one of many ‘have to’s’ right now. Nevertheless the trail will remain. If you are one of the many who dreamed of walking your walk and hiking your hike in 2020 it appears that 2021 may be your year. Maybe a portion of 2020 will still allow for some determined types to get on the PCT further north. This assumes COVID-19 is slowed or stopped, the trail is reopened and plans can get changed. 

Disappointment is a huge feeling, especially this year. However a skill that works well on and off the trail is flexibility. If we can conjure up our most flexible selves then that may be a way to set aside the disappointment and make room for the enthusiasm and excitement of following our hopes and dreams. Like many, I have had some disappointments on and off the trail. The virus will recede and all of those waiting for a better time will definitely proceed and succeed at putting themselves on the PCT. Don’t give up, none of it, your dreams, hopes, and the trail itself aren’t going away!!