the night after yeongshik nearly leaves xlnc, a stressed out and frustrated jinhwan lashes out at his hyung. with @idxking
jinhwan’s hands were cold-- freezing, even, his nail beds pale and his fingers trembling. the state of them had nothing to do with the cold, january weather outside, but rather had everything to do with what happened earlier-- with the stunt yeongshik had pulled, nearly bailing on them all so close to their goal. they were so close to debut, to what they’d been working on for so long, and yeongshik had nearly torn it away from all four of them in a second. the incident had happened hours ago, at that point, but the shock and fear that had struck jinhwan lingered, setting him off kilter all day. he had panicked, in the moment, jumped up off his chair and yelled, his heart pounding a mile a minute as his body had reacted to the threat. and even now, after all of their schedules had finished for the day, jinhwan was still feeling the effects.
he tucked his hands under his thighs, squishing them between the chair and his body in an attempt to warm them up, and dropped his head towards his knees as he took a deep breath. they were all back at the dorm now, and although there was still a tension lingering between the four of them, things had mostly settled for the night. the others had gone to bed for the night-- and jinhwan had tried to, really, but he was still keyed up and exhausted and god, if his hands could please stop shaking then things would be better, because all he wanted to do was to go to bed and forget about everything.
his hands still shook, though, when he pulled them out from under his thighs, and his chest still felt tight whenever he took a breath. which is why jinhwan was here, sitting at the small kitchen table in their dorm, instead of in his bunk in the bedroom, asleep with the others like he should have been.
he heard a door open and jumped, not wanting to be caught like this, anxious and uncertain as opposed to his usual cool and charm. jinhwan leaned over in his chair, trying to peer into the hall to see who was up, and when he saw yeongshik, he felt his heart drop. something burned in him at the sight of his hyung— why was yeongshik fine, able to go to bed and rest after what he did, when jinhwan felt like his whole world had been rattled by just a sentence? it wasn’t fair for jinhwan to be the only one torn up about this. it wasn’t fair that yeongshik was able to do what he had done and escape with nothing but a smack on the wrist from the management. it wasn’t fair.
he didn’t know what took over him— his hyung was just going to the bathroom, for god’s sake, he clearly wasn’t looking to talk— but before jinhwan knew it, he was out of the chair, hurrying after yeongshik and into the bathroom before his hyung could fully close the door. “hyung,” he ground out, shutting the bathroom door and locking it with a click. jinhwan pressed his back up against it, stopping yeongshik from trying to leave. “what the fuck were you thinking earlier? how the hell did you think it would have been okay to try and quit? what the hell is wrong with you?”
