#idsanha

@idsanha, san’s apartment, late evening

sometimes it seems like all san really does in his apartment is sleep and drink. it’s probably indicative of a wildly unhealthy lifestyle. but does anyone expect an idol’s life to be healthy? especially when they’re signed under midas. and here he is again, with bottles scattered across a too-expensive, bland looking coffee table. here he is again, a chopstick in hand as he messily mixes together a large glass of beer and some soju before pushing it across the table toward sanha. here he is again, doing it for himself, swallowing it all down until he feels lightheaded, like his body might not be carved from lead. here he is again, before he’s ripped away from scraps of rest and sent out to promote once more. 

he’s angry, the aircon’s cranked high, and he’s tucked himself away in a too-large sweatshirt. the hood’s pulled up to hide his hair. a soft colored lavender they’d just seeped into it so they could roll into music video filming for kokobop, teaser pictures. san hates it. he usually hates it, but at least the blonde’s easier to accept. he drains a good third of the glass before he sets it back down on the table from his seat on the floor. one elbow propped on the wooden surface, the other arm busied as san moves to swipe the edge of his sleeve across his lips. 

“there’s more beer in the fridge.” san notes, drops his chin to his forearm and looks through the cup at sanha. he’s warped behind the glass, and stained yellow near the edges from the concoction that’s obscuring him. san’s voice it slurred, he’s already implemented his tried and true strategy of drinking as much as he can handle in the shortest time-frame possible. he drinks a lot, but he’s not built big. it usually hits him fast enough for san to find it comforting. 

with @idsanha at coffee shop near midas building

these days coffee is his best friend. aroon can’t remember the last time he slept well ( yes he can ), so drinking enough caffeine to keep him going through the day is important. he is on a strange position, career wise. too fresh in the minds of people to disappear, so midas keeps pushing titanium into things because their song is sort of working and they are sort of okay for a recently debuted group, aroon still has the pro.j fame to back him up, but he is not famous enough to do anything too interesting, so he just... lives.

and it’s good, it’s fine, aroon can manage. he can manage pouring everything into work and sleep on the way back to the dorm and the neck pain it gives him. he can manage sleeping alone on his bed, he can manage wake up in the middle of the night and miss the warmth besides him and stay awake because he can’t sleep anymore, jaehyun tossing and turning on the bed besides him the only noises in the night.

it’s okay, all of this.

except it isn’t.

it isn’t because the awkwardness around the dorm is too much and suffocates him, because aroon doesn’t know how to deal with the things he is feeling and he doesn’t know how to speak his mind. but if there is someone who knows and can help him it’s sanha and aroon is glad his hyung and him are on speaking terms again.

it was necessary a whole mess of getting drunk and doing dumb shit for aroon to realize that well... that is life. and sanha never deserved to be treated like aroon did, like he was such a bad person when it is far from the truth. would a bad person make time in his busy schedule just to meet aroon? sanha could make up an excuse, but he doesn’t and when aroon sees him entering the place he raises from his place in the back and waves.

“thanks for coming, hyung.” aroon says in means of a greeting. “i need your help.”