#idontknowyouyet

Today is the second real day of spring here in Chicago, and for the first time in a long time I feel whole. Which is such a complicated thing to really explain, but it's in part due to moving on and accepting myself and knowing what I want and what I won't accept. I feel whole and happy and I won't lie, I cried when I realized it. I've realized a lot about myself and about love this semester, obviously a culmination of my previous eighteen years, but it just really hit me. I used to be so afraid of commitment because I didn't know how I would know that it was right. But I realized, that I'm not going to put up with someone who is wrong, who doesn't treat me how I want to be treated or someone who I don't love. And that's not only ok, but it's so good, just because someone is there for you doesn't mean they are the right one (although the right one will be there for you.) I've been asking how my friends have been getting married and how they can be happy settling down and having kids at 18, 19, 20, but now I understand. Because I feel like if I had the right one the timing isn't that big a deal, if you know it's right go for it.