#idlsramble

"You can't see much of an uncut cake, but once you slice it open. Only then you can see its layers."

"A tree won't show its age until you chop its down and count its inner rings."

"Don't judge a book by its cover"

"As all stories strive to tell a complexly passionate story"

"IdLS is an attempt at such a story"

I'll get around to fully fleshing it out, but this more so comes from a really dumb passion project from me. Making a game with IdLS's story. The game would have a similar gameplay loop to the Persona games with its life sim but with my own twist. Obviously this kind of ambitious game would take decades to develop, especially when I'm not even a programmer. The main difference between IdLS's story and Persona's would be how the story would play out a bit more linearly, that or have the game take place after the events of IdLS.

The passion project would be making a Persona-like game in the same world as IdLS so I can put IdLS characters in it as easter eggs.

If I were to make IdLS a game, it would definitely be more inline with a story game with how linear it is. Though it's more about how I want to write the story. And I want to make it an animated medium, a game would give it more wiggle room but it's definitely more so about exploring extra what ifs with the story.

Going back to the passion project, I had the idea of letting you pick your MC with a simple character customizer. It would also have the option to let you pick your gender and your pronouns. Then there's also a really obtuse way to represent trans people in this story by progressing a social link of a trans person, or have your mc go through transitioning, but honestly that might be too much? Especially coding and content wise cuz if you were to start transitioning at the near end of the story, it would mean more content to write in case of it and it would feel really shoe horned in.

Maybe it would be simpler if at the character creator you get the option to decide if your character is trans or not, leaving the details vague so you can fill it in yourself. And it wouldn't be just as empty as that, through out the game you get to set what kind of past you had through semi linear dialogue options that does have an impact on the story.

Something along the lines of: start game > major plot 1 > mc reflection 1 > etc

Where after a major plot point the mc would reflect and you get to pick what kind of past you had, making it a personality test of sorts. Having it effecting the ending would be difficult since this begs the question of how much this should be affecting the story.

Maybe it shouldn't affect the story too much and it only realistically effects social link development. Like if you made your mc trans, you progress the social link with the trans person a lot more differently. Ah I guess that would mean giving the social link completely different cutscenes and dialogue based on your mc and the reflections.

When Pumpkin first met Rosa, Rosa was still deep in her whole biker era.

Identity Least Searched

Or maybe

Identity Last Searched

Like I can see it with some of the lyrics of with some kind of scene with Luna talking to Robo Luna as "Someday I will go back outside and see her okay" part plays

Just make it into some form of half truths told and Luna and Zenny missing each other timed to baby hotline

The whole Find Zenny arc is planed out in a way where it's Luna deploying Robo Luna to look for Zenny by lying to the lab that she's publicly testing out robots being integrated into society with the Robo Luna model but have one special model to have a special data set and coding to search for Zenny.

What ends up happening tho is that the special model (that will just be taken as the main Robo Luna we follow throughout IdLS) has managed to form its own kind of singularity, a form of a personality that gives it a reason to lie to Luna.

The key thing here is that this arc also encompasses Zenny's slow acceptance of their current identity. And them accidentally bumping into Robo Luna is the main catalyst to their own self acceptance.

The other key thing about Robo Luna lying to Luna is that, when they did bump into Zenny, she didn't really face scan Zenny as Zenny because of their current form. Lack of a neck and what not and the picture Luna would use to ID Zenny would be old pics. Instead of moving on though, Robo Luna decides to take its own interest in Zenny and basically pseudo stalks them? Like out of her own will without any code or anything dictating her actions, Robo Luna wants to learn more about Zenny.

Oh and Zenny in this situation would call themselves Star, as a funky little nod to my game OCs. Mainly my starbound, terraria, and monster hunter oc are technically the same person. In lore it would be explained that Star is Zenny's online handle. It also works as a neat way to somewhat cannonize these games in IdLS's world.

Back on topic though, Zenny recognizes Robo Luna because of her design striking a massive resemblance to the prototype Zenny and Luna built all the way back then. And they don't want to foil the fake funeral so they lie to Robo Luna when she asks for their name and says Star.

From here they would use this avoiding to be recognized as a dead man as an excuse to dress more femininely to further drive the idea that Zenny is dead.

Y'know the more I think about it, maybe I should make it so that Zenny's deadname is Zane or something like that. Cuz if I were to continue with this Find Zenny arc, it would mean that it sets up Zenny going by Star from then on to further set the boundary, but at the same time I do feel like I need to keep the original name intact. There's also just the fact that Zenny is just comfortable using their birth name as they transition, it's a key part of them that I don't really want to remove nor change from them. Purely because this part is derived from me. I'm fine with my legal documents sticking with my original name, I'm living in an English speaking country so my Vietnamese name means nothing honestly. Even if that name when translated literally means "Male Martial Arts" dunno what my middle name means though. It's just funny that my family would give me a gender neutral nickname only for me to end up here.

So anyways where was I? Oh yeah giving Zenny an excuse to start wearing skirts in public.

In a way I do need to make it so that enough time has passed where Zenny can go out into the public after the Light Element Incident and the robotics society integration test would be in full force so that it doesn't look out of place when Zenny is hanging out with Robo Luna.

It's also important to note that Emi knows that Zenny is trans but Luna doesn't, so that should make it so that it makes sense that Zenny has all of these clothes in their wardrobe.

Oh yeah I guess I need to show that scene where Emi catches Zenny in girl mode with her clothes and make a really heartfelt scene of Emi without a word as Zenny tries to scramble a way to lie their way out of the current situation, she approached Zenny and. Simply hugs them as they both break down in tears.

Oh wow I guess that's another scene I need to write. Right now that whole build up is the height of Emi and Zenny's bonding. Before their parents divorce, they were thick and thin together, and when their parents would argue Emi would be there to soothe Zenny down from the commotion. Only after the divorce where Emi and Zenny are practically in a really helpless situation was when a rift between them forms, a not so small fear from Zenny that Emi would be disgusted at Zenny for who they are and them secrestly wearing Emi's clothes, Emi thinking that Zenny resents her for not trying harder to reach out and rescue them sooner. They don't argue, but they both don't really talk to each other that much after Emi manages to get Zenny to move into her home. Ever since Zenny moved in, they were basically really quiet. Emi would give them space but is rather unsure how to approach them especially after everything they went through with their dad. So when that confrontation Emi and Zenny happens, she doesn't want them to run away anymore, and she wants to let them know that they are safe with her. So when they hugged in that moment, it meant a lot to both of them. There were no more secrets between them.

It still places Emi in a strange situation though, she still needs to be working in the lab since she's the now head leader of the light element research. That would mean I need to make it so that Luna's bio robotics sector is very far removed, oh god I need to develop the lab more don't I?

For now to keep things simple, Luna works in the bio robotics sector (bio robotics as in robot limbs and what not, making sure that people can live with their limb enhancements without much fuss), Zenny works in the mechanics sector (more specifically robotics but they more so specializes in functionality and compactness) and Emi works in the elemental research sector (this part of the lab basically researches the magic of the world while Emi works in the subdivision for the elemental gemstones). Three separate sectors that can collaborate with each other but are often too busy for their own reasons.

I guess Luna would be working in robotics but mainly works in the bio robotics subdivision.

The amount of side characters I need to make for this world to work is going to be crazy lol.

Oh my god I side track too easily, to keep it in a nutshell: Find Zenny arc is when Zenny starts to present more femininely to avoid being recognized as the guy that died in the Light Element Rediscovery Incident and to further avoid getting recognized by Robo Luna. Robo Luna basically pestering them to hangout with her more thus further pushes them to present more fem. They take it as an excuse when deep down they've always wanted to do so. This leads into Zenny bumping into Rosa as they try to pick out a wardrobe for themselves. Then the arc ends with Rosa inviting Zenny to Pumpkin's cafe to do some size fitting when they agreed to Rosa's offer in exchange for specialized clothes for their body, while at the same time Luna is there taking a break. Oh and Robo Luna is also there tagging along making Zenny go out in a dress to keep up the "disguises." Making this a metaphorically strange way of having old friends reunite after one of them transitions. It does put Zenny in a really awkward situation with meeting their old childhood crush by happenstance and it'll be a really teary reunion for both of them after enough running around has happen (mental translation: basically Zenny runs away a bit until Luna either corners them by accidentally running into the specific part of the forest where Rosa's secret garden is at and or Zenny decides to stop running after reaching their old hangout spot in the forest)

One just has a different kind of bad parenting, Zenny in particular was given the worst hand seeing how their parents got a divorce right around Emi started uni. At this time Zenny would be at a really young age, not baby young but right around the time they're about to start middle school.

Actually that sets up really well as the main reason why Luna and Zenny didn't really saw each other during middle school. Their parents got a divorce and their father somehow won the right over their custody despite being a really horrible person. Backhanded bribery.

Emi's time with their parents wasn't even bad when she was born, same with Zenny. Their parents just started to have a fall out when they had Zenny.

(That reminds me that I need to give this family a last name lol, I'll just call them the Krystals for now)

I want to say that their parents started to have a deep rooted fall out when Emi was in her later highschool years. Their father was strict and wanted Emi to pursue something that would be in the medical field so they could get free medical treatments, even when it was just a joke by him he's persistent about and would try to nudge her in that direction. Not to mention he would be rather stubborn about being wrong, that the moment Emi got bad grades he would punish her rather unfairly. Their mom would be the one that pulls back his harshness but at times his stubbornness would outright prevent her from doing so. Their mom just wants their kids to have a better future than what she had, almost too much. And at times she would be a hypocrite, actually both of them might be hypocrites. Their mom would go on about wanting them to have an easier life than they did only for the next day force them to study despite already finishing midterms, and here would be where their dad come in to sneak them out to get some grub at a cafe and relax at the arcades.

Another reason to their divorce would be because of their father's smoking habit, he smokes when he was dating their mom and he still smokes nowadays. And an alcoholic to boot but so is their mom. The worst that have came out of his smoking addiction was that he smoked in the same room as when their mom had Zenny, and just making the kitchen smell like cigs half of the time.

I know that this next one is very much just piling on the long list of horrible things their father has done but I really want to make sure that both sides are in the wrong.

Zenny wasn't their second kid after all. That one was lost due to a miscarriage after their mother got into a car accident and their father was out drunk while she was mourning in the hospital alone. And instead of using this clear fact to win custody over Zenny, she stayed silent because she wanted them to have a normal childhood. And that ended up putting them through more turmoil than needed with their father getting a lot more verbally and physically abusive. There would even be times where he gets calls from their mom asking to see Zenny but makes them fake sleep and always tell them bitter white lies to keep them from learning the truth. Eventually it would even make Zenny forget their mom's face.

Emi was completely oblivious to all of this because they wouldn't tell her anything, she knows about the dirvorce but knew nothing about the things that was happening with Zenny, they wanted her to focus on her studies after all. She kept in contact with Zenny but because of differing time zones they couldn't really talk that often. Thankfully during this time period was when Zenny was in highschool, which meant that they would hang out with Luna.

Luna and Zenny's time spent together during their highschool years would be the main interlinking point for their relationship. Even when it was somewhat sparse, they were there for each other when it mattered. Especially for Zenny with them dealing with their father.

Emi does eventually find out about everything from a relative from their father's side of the family and dropped everything she was doing to get Zenny out of there.

That's all I can think for now about the massive backstory to why Emi and Zenny are living in the same house before the Hardlight Incident. Debating if I should make their mom dead or not. Maybe it's better if their mom had found a better husband than before and managed to finally get Zenny to live with her only for it to make Zenny rather lonely with how distant they feel about both of their parents and just feels really out of place in this new family.

A lot of complicated emotions really, because I want to make a really gut wrenching arc of Zenny learning to lie the same way their father does to get them out of there only for it to be a hard thing to unlearn leading them to needlessly hide because they don't know what else to do. Living with their mom got them out of an absuive household but it also stripped them away from a family they were familiar with. It wasn't just their father that was taking care of Zenny after the divorce, it was basically most of the relatives from his side of the family that was taking care of them. Especially their aunts and uncles, grandpa and grandma.

Zenny loses their grampa while they were living with their dad, and loses their gramma when they were living with their mom. They couldn't be there for both of them during their final days on the planet. With their grandpa was because they were at school when he passed, with their gramma was because they were living so far away from where she was and because they didn't want to go back to see their dad, they didn't want to go back only to miss the last days of one of the last few people that truely cared about them.

Zenny's losses in general is the main bulk of their trauma. From that loss makes them a lot more reserved. Add that ontop of their learned lying habit to get people to not worry about them. It created a really tough bottleneck for them to break through.

And this isn't even mentioning the massive gender questioning arc they go through that I still need to sit down and brainstorm about.

That's why I want to someday buy a license to use Porter Robinson's music for this project, especially the song "Shelter." Seeing how with this side of the story focuses around giving shelter when people need it.

Emi and Luna giving Zenny the shelter they need to finally breathe.

I just need to draw this out like how advogato9 (I think that's their handle) draws out illustration that tells a powerful wordless story.

Oh yeah and one last thing about Luna's relationship with Zenny. Seeing how Pumpkin fills in the role of not being able to fully express her love for her significant other, Luna would just take too long to confess her love for Zenny.

Oh yeah that would beg the question if she knows about Zenny being trans and if she accepts— ah who am I kidding it's because of that fact that she falls in love with them, it was just really unfortunate timing that she couldn't focus on that and cared more about their well being to acknowledge her love for them until way later when they got their jobs at the research facility and wasn't able to get the feelings out before the Hardlight Incident.

Final note: I'm definitely going to need to rewrite the Hardlight Incident seeing how I want to go back and give all of the elements an ancient temple that leads into the discovery of the light element by Emi. And then from there the first stable Hardlight cube prototype, and then it'll lead into Emi running into issues while testing mechanical compatibility with Hardlight that created the first elemental deadzone in a massive chunk of the ocean. That way it makes more sense for Zenny to be there, and that whole limited budget deal to go without making Emi a criminal outright while still keeping the prejudice in the research facility intact.

Ontop rewriting how Emi discovers the light element through hints of ancient ruins of each elements instead of a weird gem heist. Will probably rework that gem theif thing into a different story.

Oh my god this would also lead into making Hardlight a more common use thing when the events of IdLS starts. Like Hardlight technology would be in day to day use because of the Hardlight incident spearheading development on a better safer version but puts Emi under a lot more stress.

In short, remaking the Hardlight Incident to be a reinvention of the Light Element.

Emi finding out about a shunned away element that has said to be never taught again because the elemental sages agreed that the light elemental was far too dangerous to teach anyone and locked all info on how to learn it and how to counter it away in each of the ancient elemental temples in super cryptic runes.

Oh right that means developing light more about the 5 elemental sages having to kill the light elemental sage because they feared what futher mastery of such element would lead to.

This also leads into redoing the light element again.

CW: Transphobia, NSFW(?)