#idk aaaaaaa

Anyway Zahra wip bcuz I'm trying to do her makeup and idk if I did it right

Alrighty for those in the internet void who come across this I think I may be in love with my best friend. Yeah I know cliché as hell, and I’ve already been through it once albeit I was unaware I was queer at the time so that wasn’t a full realized love until recently but I digress.

You see I’ve known them for years, they’re actually my longest friend. So it’s, uh, complicated. They recently (beginning of the year ish) broke up with their ex who they had been with for 3 years, it was their first everything so they took it hard, rightfully so.

But see they’ve been flirting with me, they have for several years of our friendship and it’s always been jokey and light hearted, we’ve even kissed but it never seemed like anything until this summer.

I had joked how I had never had a hickey before and they got very excited and asked if they could give me one/be my first for a hickey and I of course got so nervous and shy because I’M A BOTTOM!!! And another friend was there, but then I started thinking about it and I was like shiiiiii yeah kinda want them to, so I messaged them later that night saying as much. Now we still haven’t done that but it’s been brought up several more times also by a third party which means they talked about how I messaged them saying I wanted to.

Next is uh they literally are so touchy feely with me, and they have been since we’ve been close but it just seems so much more now idk maybe I’m just so touch starved. But like today they went out of their way two separate times to hold my hand. After dinner while we were waiting at the table for tabs and then in the car on the way back from dinner and they were shotgun and I was in the backseat so like it was VERY intentional, as evidenced by the awkward position it puts your arm in.

I picked them and their sibling (my other bff) up from the airport this afternoon, they were visiting family and so I offered to get them when they got back. So I brought them back to their house and then their sibling left shortly after and they asked if I wanted to stay and hang I said sure. So a good 2 hours in from them being home they go “I realized I never hugged you” and come over and we hug for a good minute and half (it was so fucking nice). And then we come back and cuddle. And then the way they hugged me goodbye too ugh!!!! Also gave me an earring to match theirs so like,,,, if it’s not love idk what is ?

jasper

pyr (/pyrrhus) (fire in greek [pyrrhus is red], sounds like pyrite) 

lucas (sounds like lucerna = candle in latin, lux = light in latin)

aster (sounds like Astraeus, titan of dusk, stars, planets, and astrology. sounds like aestus = heat in latin) (??? feminine ???)