INDIVIDUAL IDENTITIES
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INDIVIDUAL IDENTITIES

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Sharper Than a Sword
Identity Paper by Almijoy Egamino
Today I want to discover myself and show who I am or what I am. I am a simple girl with big dreams, not only for myself but also for my family. My happiness is too simple, and that happiness is that I want to finish my studies to pay back the hard work of my family, and I see the positive thinking and smile on their faces. I’m not a good girl like others, because I have an attitude sometimes when dealing with people who show their bad personalities to me. So let’s move on and discover the other things about me and my personality. My father and I live now in Banga in my father’s house because my mother and father are separated and my mother already passed away two years ago. My mother is Ilocano and my father is Hiligaynon, but my mother tongue is Hiligaynon because I grew up on my father’s side until now, but I have the potential to speak Ilocano. It’s actually little and I understand people speaking Ilocano language. I don't know why. Why do I understand when they speak Ilocano? I asked my grandparents, and they said that my mother's blood is stronger than my father's blood. But I don't believe what they said because I think they are the same attributes in my physical and mental character.
So let's move on to my beliefs. My religion is Roman Catholic. I chose this religion over my mother's religion because I know the policies and traditions of Roman Catholicism. But before I tried to learn the religion of my mother, which is Jehovah's Witness, I tried to understand their beliefs and rules. When I compare, it is so hard to be a Jehovah Witness because there are so many rules that you need to comply with, but in the end, I realize you need to respect religion, beliefs, and culture. Next, I will learn the culture and my contribution to the place, along with my own attitude. People in Banga are hard-working. I learned how important the culture is in terms of farming and animal welfare. For me, every minute is valuable because time is running out. My grandmother once told me that if you want to finish your education, you must first do something, then study hard, and finally, never give up on your dream. That is the reason why education is the key to our success, just like farming in our place. If you want to harvest progressive fruits, plant them in good soil. That is the most important thing. I will share why Banga has good farming.
Let's move on to my behavior. The strongest behavior that I see is in my father's behavior. Why? Sometimes my patience is not too long because someone hurts my feelings. I am easily mad at her and I see that in my father's attitude always. I also get the strict attitude of my father, but one thing I get from my grandmother's attitude is that you need to give things that others need. Because love is not for a special someone, it is for everyone. So let's move on in my world view. When I was a child, I thought the paradise was that you could get your one in an easy way, but as time went by, I learned that the world is too polluted. polluted with a bad attitude, corrupt politicians, and very alarming viruses. That is the world now for me. It is a small world for us. We have different cultures and beliefs, but we can understand each other because different cultures and beliefs are very natural to understand. If you are black or white, if you are tall or not, we have equal freedom and rights in this world. For me, communication is not easy because you don't know how people think because we live in a judgmental society. For me, communicating is so hard, it's like I’m sharing my ideas about the topic. I don't know if it is good or bad for others. But my attitude towards communicating is a very powerful way to communicate and it is a mirror into my thoughts, feelings, and soul! I remember this important communication skill: a positive attitude will always invite positive results and a negative attitude will always invite negative results. But I discovered that our tongue is sharper than a sword. It can change the perception of other people toward us, that's all.
Clay of a Person
Identity Paper by Nicky Angela Solis
As impressionable as I can be, I am easily influenced by almost anything. Something as little as a pebble can easily impact me and merge into my ever-changing temporary temperament. That is, if I can find meaning in it, which I easily can. I am known for always being poetic and romantic yet detached. I find beauty in anything and everything without my rose-colored glasses, but no beauty in this world has ever touched my soul. I have been introduced to different worlds, but none have ever latched onto me like a slug would a log, but only indifference. I do wish to experience the excitement of being a fan of idols and movie series; calmness in doing your hobbies; the sense of fulfillment in doing your passion; and the feeling of romance towards a human being. I do the most by adding value to everything I see, romanticizing the most unromantic things, and giving life to the dead. With this, I became a clay of a person – ever-changing, ever moldable.
I am affectionally named after both of my parents; my Nicky from my father’s nickname; his real name is Dominic, and he is called Nicky in the military; and Angela from my mother; her name is Anelene. I am not fond of my name since my father can never think of another name that doesn’t make people confuse me with my sister (her name is Nicky Anne), and "Angela" is just too religious. My nickname is no different. I was born on the 3rd of December, a day before the feast day of St. Barbara. My aunts and Lolas quickly associated me with her and requested for me to be named Barbie as my legal name. Mom found it a silly name, so a nickname would do. They believed me being born a week late on my official birth date was a sign that my father would be protected at work since St. Barbara is the patron saint of miners and artillerymen, a holy bulletproof vest if you will. In my father’s words, I am his tanging yaman. They said I was a blessing. Ironically, I am the middle child of three and am the most forgotten sibling. I am the yes man to my mother and the sibling who needs to give way to the other. If I do not follow, I am usually the one who gets hurt.
I grew up without the beauty of parental love. My parents were too occupied with work and left us to our yayas. They bathed, fed, and took us to school. I and my sister were never fond of them at first, forcing about half of them to resign after three days, but not without them crying to my mother and accusing us of being the spawn of the devil himself. You can only imagine the anger and frustration of my dear mother every time we send one out the door. Nonetheless, some of them stayed and became our parental figures while my mother works at a hospital as a billing clerk and my dad is assigned somewhere in the country since he is a soldier. I love my yayas, but that love is gone the moment I hear they are leaving for personal reasons. I used to hear it first as they talked to my mother about it – I have a habit of eavesdropping as I easily get curious – and then my sister would know second; she would cry the most. She hates it when people go away. For me, I never understood why I did not cry or feel anything; I just said my goodbyes and waited for the next yaya. There was a time, though, when we stopped having yayas and my mom started to have more off days. I found it weird and uncomfortable that she screams and scolds us for nothing when she’s at home, and the house is not joyful when she’s around. I later found out that my dad was forcing her to quit her job for no other reason than his old and misogynistic view towards a woman having a job and her getting paid more than him. I found this reason dumb since it did not make Dad happy when she was around. Why would he need to see her when he doesn’t like her? She eventually resigned after my brother was diagnosed with non-verbal autism. He frequently fights when he returns home; gambling was his illness, smoking was his addiction, and drinking was his medicine.He is everything I hated in a person and the living example of what I do not want to be or be with, but I used to love him as he was my father, and that is what people told me to do. Our family is not ideal behind closed doors, but it puts up a façade when needed, especially when my sister wins an award. She is the golden child that every parent wishes for – smart, beautiful, and obedient. I was, and still am, expected to follow in her footsteps, but my attention is on other things. She is at the top of her classes, from a science high school, and is currently a scholar at a respectable university in Manila. I can never achieve half of the things she has done; I compensate for it by being a doll to the crowd and being the star in every situation to fool myself that I am just as good as she is (I’m not). I am, in my aunts' and mother's' words, a disappointment and won’t go far—even though the ones who said it only finished high school, were victims of teenage pregnancy, and follow every word their husband says—I still believed them.
The more I feel inferior to my family, the more I crave superiority in other areas. I felt a sense of authority and importance when I was nominated as president in first grade, just because I was nice enough to everyone on the first day of class. I won by a margin of one vote. I was not a good president, considering I was a kid. I cried and screamed and easily got mad at my classmates. Even so, I was elected as President until 3rd grade, became a secretary in 4th, and Vice President in 5th and 6th. This continued until I was in high school. I am currently the Vice President of the School Council of KNCHS. I am known for having an intimidating yet calm demeanor. I can work under pressure and have learned to manage my time throughout the years. Being in the position I am in now has given me the satisfaction of power and attention, and it gives me work that I can use in the future. I used to think that I was running to help the students, but I also have personal reasons. I find my reasons ill-conceived and selfish, but I never used my power to be above the rules. I know my job, and though I do not love it, I will do my duty without complaints.
My view of love has been fickle. I always shift my perspective depending on what is around me. Is it calming or destructive? In a loveless family, it is like waves of everything and nothing. I was called "abnormal" by my classmates since I had no crush on them. I tried to love and had a little crush on a boy, even got into a relationship, but everything I felt was shallow. Attraction is foreign to me, and so is affection. I am curious about what it feels like to be in love, be happy with someone, fight, then forgive, hurt, and heal. I crave it. But it doesn’t come in naturally like I wished it would. I struggled with this. I’m glad that my friends taught me to love without hesitation, as they loved me without hesitation. In gratitude, I wish to do the same to them.
In my teen years, I started to take an interest in religion. My religion, to be exact, is Roman Catholic. As I started to become aware of God and the Bible, I frequented the church more and attended Flores de Mayo. I learned the rosary and became fascinated by how we should recite the Hail Mary in every bead, and the mysteries tell the story of Jesus Christ until his crucifixion and rising from death. I started to adore Mother Mary and how she was chosen to be the mother of Christ. I come to church alone and pray every night. I even went as far as asking for a rosary as a souvenir when a friend visited Iloilo. However, as I learned my religion, the more I hated it, the more I became anxious and angry. At this time, I also started to question my sexual orientation—a sin according to many beliefs. My religion became the reason for discrimination, death, and war. The thought of it makes my stomach churn and my heart heavy. I am shamed by the people in my religion for liking both sexes. I still feel anger and pain towards them. I eventually started to remove myself from Roman Catholicism and explored other religions. I frequently inquired about my Adventist, Muslim, and Jehovah's Witness classmates' practices, and I secretly did so to understand how they felt. I have tried fasting, not eating pork, and reading the pamphlets and letters of Jehovah's Witnesses. I even tried to meditate and learn tarot cards. Every one of those experiences gives me a new perspective on their views, but I cannot survive fasting; I find the pamphlets gibberish; meditation scares me; and their religion is more organized than mine could ever be. This never made me deny the existence of God. I can never shake off the belief that he exists, but is he all good? Is he all-powerful? I am told to not question it, but why? Following blindly is idiotic, naive, and gullible. If he does not want us to question it, why give us this intellect? I never get answers to my questions, only glares and spiteful comments on how I will go to hell. If I do, I don’t care. I choose to be myself. I am not hurting anyone.
Art and literature have had an impact on my life since I can remember; I used to participate in storytelling contests in elementary school; I used to write poems and short stories in my spare time; I radio broadcast; I host; I make speeches; and I draw.I don’t know how it started, but I found it beautiful how different worlds can be formed on pages and canvases at your will. How colors can make life easier and words fuel your imagination. Literature taught me to express myself, especially in times where silence is forced, to question everything, and to write what I know. Literature opened a home with castles of paragraphs for me to enter and explore, an escape from my little destructive world. The world inside a painting is ethereally haunting—how beautiful yet tragic is Ophelia by Sir John Everett; how unsettling is the stare of the man in American Gothic by Grant Wood; and how mundane and isolated is Nighthawks by Edward Hopper. These drive me to draw and create my world and life on pages. The only interest I have that I’m sure I’ll never stop doing
My life has been a life of great curiosity. I wish to answer every question I have. I still have to learn about myself and continue this journey. I will continue to learn everything I am unfamiliar with. I wish to achieve more, and I know I have plenty of time. It has already been established that I am young and will still encounter so much. I have many more blank pages to write on, but the ones that have been written are filled with ink, scribbles, and mistakes. My simple curiosity helped me explore and feel life in my bones. I have learned, felt, cried, and loved, and they will forever change me into who I am today. I will continue to shape myself throughout the years – ever-changing, ever moldable.Â
Me, Myself, and I
Identity Paper by Elton John Palabrica
"Who are you?" That's always what strangers ask me first if they don't know who I am. I also ask myself who I really am. To tell you the truth, I really don't know myself fully. I just know that there's always something in me that I'm about to discover in the future. For now, let me share who I am with you. I am Elton John. My nickname's Ton-Ton, and that's what my family and close friends always call me. I discovered just recently that I am not the same ton-ton from before.Â
The bright, cheerful, loud, active, thin, young Elton was just a thing of the past, because as time passed by, everything changed in an instant. Maybe that part of me is still there, but not totally anymore. I still put a smile on my face, I am still loud, still bright, and still active, but I can't deny that I have become more distant, independent, quiet, and I just found myself being comfortable when I am alone. I like the presence of my friends and family, but I love the presence of a calm and serene environment. I talk a lot when I am with them, but I keep quiet if my social battery is already low. I laugh with them, hang out with them, have fun with them, but I always put a limit on everything. Maybe time really changed me, because that's what it always does, right? Time really changed all of us, and I think it's part of growing up.Â
When I was young, I remembered that I was really good at playing games like Chinese Garter, Jolens, Kick, Patentero, Tumba Lata, Batang X, Baguungay, and many more. My classmates always persuade me to play with them, and they wish that I was grouped with them because they know what capability and ability I have when it comes to those games. I am a boy, but I tried so many times to be a mother in a Chinese garter because I always saved them with my long legs that could jump for about 7 feet. I'm great at playing kick, and no one had beaten my 105 score. I also ran fast, made a move as fast as a flash, always made a strategy in patentero, and accumulated 15 marbles while playing jolen.
When I entered junior high school, I maintained my active and strong attitude.I admit I was naive and young at that time, but if you're a kid, you would just think about having fun. I missed those times, because as I grew up, I haven't experienced those things anymore. Yet, those experiences have shaped me as a person now. Of course, my family also affected how I shaped myself as a person. We really don't have any customs or traditions that we follow. As long as we love each other, it's enough to make our bond stronger. Some of my siblings already had their own families, and I am happy for them because they are happy now with their partners and children. We still communicate through social media platforms, and if they have free time during the weekends, we will gather here in our house to celebrate, although there is no specific occasion.Â
I have five siblings. I have 3 sisters and 2 brothers, but I am closer to my sisters, especially to my older sister before me. I am very vocal with them as I share with them what's going on in my mind. They are very supportive of what I always do, and they compliment me on my talents. As the youngest, I always get teased a lot. I remembered that IÂ cried so hard when I was 12 because all of them made a team against me and told me that our parents found me in the trash can and adopted me out of pity. While crying, I was persuading my father to show me my birth certificate to prove that I was not adopted, and they just laughed at me. They made fun of me, but I didn't sow anger towards them. I still love them, although my tears kept on flowing because of them.Â
I also remember when I was still a child, my mother worked as an OFW in Hong Kong and Dubai, and we always found a new house to stay in every year because we didn't have our own yet. I was just four, but I already felt their hardships, especially my older sister, who stepped in as our mother while our mother was away. She would carry our things while we were moving, and when I looked at her, I felt the exhaustion and tiredness in her eyes. But what can she do? She had no choice but to take the responsibility because she loves us.
We moved approximately 10 times before our parents bought our own lot. Our experience taught me a lot. It taught me that it takes a lot of hardships, steps, and failures before reaching success. That's why I'm striving really hard so that in the future I will also achieve the success, contentment, happiness, and peace of mind that I want. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. My family taught me to believe in myself and that I could do everything. They also taught me that I shouldn't focus on material things, because not all material things can give me happiness.Â
I may have changed now, but I always kept everything they taught me in my mind and heart. It may feel offensive sometimes because of their actions, but maybe I didn't really sow anger towards a person over a long period of time. That's why I always forgive them. I am proud and happy that they are the family that I had. They will always have a special place in my heart.
My Journey Will Not End
Identity Paper by Bernard Mamangkiang
There are things that help me to be a better person, and that is my experience. When I was young, I always had this in my head that the world only revolved around me. I become insensitive to people because sometimes I forget that they're all the same as me and always think about myself and my family and do not care about other people. However, as I entered third grade, my parents expected me to be nice to others and to avoid doing things that I might regret. And that is when I realized that the world does not only revolve around me, but around other people too. I regret every bad thing that I did, especially to my friends. To redeem myself, I made lots of effort to change my personality and my perspective on the world and tried to listen to what my parents taught me.Â
When I was young, I always came along with my father and grandfather every Friday to pray in the mosque, and when we ate at night, my father always told us about the day when They met with my mother and all the experiences that they were so grateful for how they overcame all the struggles and challenges. That is where my parents taught me that whatever struggle you face, do not give up. There is always a way to overcome it.Â
In my 19 years of existence, I experienced a lot of things, like having a relationship and being broken, having a new friend and losing some friends. Even at the time when I felt drowning in the sea of grief, I began to hide my feelings and not let other people see what I have always felt because I'm afraid that if I did not do what people expected me to be the active, funny, and nice person that they always knew, they might avoid me. And when we graduated to eighth grade, this one teacher helped me to shape my life. My teacher gave us a small bottle that has a small piece of paper with a message, and my teacher said, "Don't let yourself hide if you don't want the other people doing it." Being nice has a limit at times, and people need to know what that limit is." I'm so happy because when we left the school, I went to see my teacher and said my gratitude and farewell to her for the message.Â
Sometimes in life, we just need people to push us and let us experience many things to help us become a better version of ourselves. I'm always grateful to the many people I met and to my experiences that taught me who I am today. And from this day onward, my journey will not end.

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It Was Not Easy
Identity Paper by Sheila Bisarra
Growing up in our family was not easy. As the first girl in our family, I was spoiled. Everything I want, they’ll buy it for me. If I cry, I get all the attention. When I’m lonely, they’ll play with me. But that all changed when I entered kindergarten. I was always interested in writing and reading. As a child, I would always pester my grandma to buy me notebooks, pencils, crayons, and other things that I needed to write and draw. My parents told me when I was young that I could easily learn things that someone taught me, like writing and reading. They would always tell me that I was smart. As a young child, I was happy to receive such compliments.Â
Kindergarten started and I was shy because I didn’t know who these children were. They were loud and noisy. Then a girl approached me and started talking to me. She introduced herself and I did the same thing. Since then, we have become best friends. I would always help her when she didn’t know how to read some words or spell some words. Then the exam results came. It was like a normal day at school. We were all playing and talking when the teacher arrived with some papers. She told us to sit down and called our names one by one. When my name was called, I stood up and went to my teacher to receive some paper. She clapped her hands and congratulated me. I was confused, so were my friends. She announced that I was ranked 1st in the class. I didn’t know why she congratulated me, but I received many compliments from my teacher and other teachers in school. Even parents of my classmates complimented me. I was happy. I returned home and told my parents about what happened at school. They smiled and looked proud of me. They also congratulated me. That day, my dad cooked some grilled fish and my mom bought lechon manok. I didn’t know why, but I thought it was because I had received an award at school. Since then, I have always been on top of my class. This was the very first time that my parents thought to themselves that I might be a genius. And the day they started their expectations for me,
2 years have passed since I started my journey in elementary school. I was excited and also nervous. I was excited because I know I’ll receive awards again. I'm also nervous because I'll be meeting new people at a new school.Just like on every kid’s first day of school, we were introduced to and made friends with each other. I made new friends that played with me and also studied with me. Months passed, and the long awaited results of our grades came. I was excited because I knew that I did well in my exams. I perfected some of them, and others have only two or three mistakes.When my teacher called my name, I stood up and received my card. Shockingly, my teacher didn’t congratulate me. I was confused and kept looking at her. I returned to my seat and waited until all of our names were called. Then my teacher called my classmate Krizzelle. She stood up and also received her card. Moments later, she was congratulated by our teacher. I was always the one to receive such congratulations, so I was confused. I kept thinking, "Huh? Si Kring-kring? Ngaman? Abi ko ako pinakataas grade? " After the ceremony, I went to my teacher to ask. "Maam ngaman si Kring-kring? Do you think I'll get first place?Mas taas man scores ko sa exam. " I asked. She answered, "Ah kay transferee ka abi." Sige lang pag 2nd grade mag taas na imo grades. " That made me smile, and I felt assured that I would still hold the top. Nevertheless, we still became friends even though she outdid me. I was still not the first honor in the following gradings.I was so confused. Then my parents saw my grades. That was the first time my parents shouted at me. "Tung kinder ka ikaw first honor, subong nga nag dako ka second ka nalang?! Ano na tabo sa imo? Sa sige mo na hampang ba. Bwas pag abot mo diri sa balay, di ka pwede mag lantaw tv asta hindi mo matapos imo nga assignments kag mag study. " I was crying because I know I did my best, but it still wasn’t enough for them. So the tyranny started. After school, I need to be at home and study.Â
4th grade was the first time I received a zero on a test. I was so shocked that I didn’t talk the whole lesson. I excused myself to the teacher, saying I wanted to go to the comfort room. After entering, she immediately started crying. "Waahhhh! Ano nalang ihambal sa akon nila mama. " That was the thought that was in my head as I cried in the bathroom. My classmates knew that I cried and comforted me. "Hala ka, thea." "Ginapahibi mo si Maine." One of my classmates teased Thea, the one who checked my paper. "Sa zero lang gani, mahibi gid siya." Oh, perfect ka tana. "Mali lang pag-check ko." She shoved the paper into my face and left. I was still crying when she gave me the paper. I scanned the paper to see if I really made some mistakes. Since then, I realized, why would I cry just for grades?
Years passed and the day of graduation arrived. I remember crying after the event. I think the reason is that I won’t be with them for high school.
My high school life was happy and fun. But this started my downfall. The first month of school was fun and amazing. I met and knew people. I learned about Wattpad and K-Pop. I loved reading since I was young. That’s why I got easily addicted to Wattpad. I neglected my school work. I stayed up late just to read and went to school with just 2 hours of sleep. This made me sleep most of the day in school. I would sleep through every recess and lunch. I would also sleep while my teachers are teaching. Months passed and me, expecting my grades to be high, lost my position of having an honors award. Till this day, I remember how I cried in my friend's arms. I'm devastated by who I've become. But this also made me realize how important it is to manage my time and study.
Never-ending Travels
Identity Paper by Jaselle Abundar
A journey through life is full of problems to solve and lessons to learn. Life feels like you're traveling, but it isn’t ending. You don’t know when you will reach the terminus of your life, where it will be, what your purpose is, and why life needs to be solidified first to achieve colors on a plain and dull paper. Taking that path with different shapes of rocks, unpaved roads, and different shades of darkness will answer our own questions in life.Â
Peridot and spinel are the birthstones of the month I was born. Peridot, with its significant lime green color, is believed to instill power and influence in the wearer. Spinel has a brilliant range of colors and is believed to protect the owner from harm and soothe away sadness (Wixon Jewelers, 2022). A loud cry was witnessed and heard in one of the famous hospitals in our province, the South Cotabato Provincial Hospital, on a moon that was in the waxing gibbous phase. It is half-illuminated but not yet a full moon. On the 11th day of August, 2003, the journey of my life started in this world full of ups and downs, harm and horrifying places to live. The name Jaselle Jane was named after me. Supposed to be it was just Jaselle, but my Aunt added Jane to make it longer. The origin of my name wasn’t told to me, so I searched its definition on the internet, and Jaselle, in its German origin, means "One who is pledged." While the name Jane is of English origin, it means "God is gracious".
Both of my parents were from families of low-standard living. They work for money, not for happiness. They strive harder to fulfill their own needs in life. My mother was born in the place where pineapples are famous: Kablon Tupi, South Cotabato. She was raised by strict parents. Every single day that passes, she feels lonely, unloved, and doesn’t have the freedom to express herself. born and raised in a place where the "Rice Bowl" or the "Rice Granary" is famous for its slogan, the municipality of Norala. My mother's experience is similar to my father's. He did all of his best to show his parents that he deserved to be at school, but it wasn’t enough for his parents. People have limitations, and my mother and father could no longer bear it. So they decided to leave their house and continue life on their own in a place that is home to many shopping malls in South Cotabato. It serves as one of the tourist economic centers of the province, Koronadal City, and the place where my parents saw love that will last forever. They support each other despite their nine-year age difference and have a loving and perseverant son and daughter with a six-year age difference. To have a parent that's religion isn’t the same is hard. My mother is devoted to her religion, Seventh-Day Adventist, and my father was christened a Roman Catholic. Arguing what is true and defending their own beliefs is hard to hear from their children. Nevertheless, my father is the first one to stop because love and understanding matter to him.
My mom has a belief that was passed on to me. And that is the forbidden practice of eating pork meat. It is a belief in our church because there was a story that pigs were once accompanied by an evil spirit. My father did not permit my brother to hold that belief, but both my brother and I are Seventh-day Adventists. Also, our tradition on both my parents' sides is that every Christmas Eve, we gather and exchange gifts with each other. They raised us as good individuals and taught us to learn to give to people in need and never underestimate anyone’s capability. I know that it is not hard to solve a problem, but my family and friends shaped me to be great and have the confidence to achieve my dreams. I always take with me as I conquer the world my parents' taught lessons, because with these I can do all the challenges that may come.Â
Open to all challenges. That is my inspirational quote for my life as of today. I've been in this world for 18 years, catching closing doors, running for the end of the rainbow, and stumbling through various challenges with bullets of sweat, dry lips, and darkness around my eyes, and I'm still wide open to any possible events in my life. The first step is the hardest one to do. Stepping out of your comfort zone needs a lot of time and confidence in yourself. Today, I am still not taking that step. I am still covered by the darkness of the shadows of my parents. I am still afraid, but I know that at the right time I will surpass this challenge with a warm smile and glittering eyes in front of people who doubt me and believe in me. I am still a flower that slowly opens. And I am still exploring things on this endless journey.
My Spirit Will Shout Freedom
Identity Paper by John Paul Beldia
These factors have contributed to my development into the person I am today. I'm blessed that I experienced the process of growing up. I have already learned many lessons in life, but the learning won’t stop here. There will always be room for improvement and knowledge. When I was a young boy, I was an introvert because I had a difficult time interacting with other people. My mother spoiled me in the things I desired, and I am also picky about the food on my plate. Because of this attitude, I was bullied at school and I am always afraid to go to school. That’s why I had trauma when I went to school because I felt that school is a hostile environment.Â
Parents are our first teachers and they’re our source of knowledge. That’s why parents have a huge role in what we are now and what we will become. My parents now are not my biological parents; they adopted me from my biological mother, who is unable to sustain us because my biological father died. My father and mother are agriculturists in the government.They met at work, and later became lovers. My father came from a middle class family but a wealthy one. His father is a "sabungero" and his mother is an OFW. My mother, on the other hand, came from a poor family of farmers. Now they’re giving me a more comfortable life and they're guiding me to be more successful than they were. In terms of culture and dialect, we truly are Ilonggos. My father and mother’s origins came from Ilo-Ilo. That's why our ancestors lived there, and we have many relatives there. In regards to our traditions and customs, we are more like a practical family. My father doesn't want to show off stuff and he just wants to spend money on needs and necessary things, and we are not. I learned many things from them, like being a respectful person, always forgiving the people that hurt you, and treating your friends as equal to yourself. These are just a few examples of the lessons they taught me. My perspective on my parents is that they're my motivation to keep going, and one day I don't just want to reach them, I also want to surpass them.Â
In terms of religion and faith, we are Born-again Christians. We believe that Christ is our Saviour and we believe He will come back again to end all evil and sins. We base our faith on the protestant bible, which has 66 books in total, including the new and old testament. We also believe that in order to go to heaven and be with Jesus Christ, you have to accept the Holy Spirit. My mother converted to this religion when she was working at her aunt's house as a maid. My father is already born-again because of his mother. That’s why they agree when it comes to faith and religion. But in my own experiences with religion and my own perspective on my own religion, For example, when pastors say that drinking is bad, but for me, drinking is not bad, being drunk is bad. Therefore, when it comes to religion, I don't just follow what the church says. I will first do my research on the bible before believing it.
When it comes to family traditions, mores, and customs. I am much more balanced between being conservative and being liberated, unlike my parents, who are very conservative people. In fashion, I believe that people can wear whatever they want, except if it’s already destroying their dignity. In gender and sexuality, I am more science-related than human rights-related when it comes to this aspect. I believe that in rights, men and women are equal, but when it comes to jobs and sports, you cannot put them in the same category, especially on physical ones, because I believe that men are physically stronger than women. Another one is about gender. I agree that there are men that are soft-hearted but I don’t see them as another gender. That’s why when it comes to same sex marriage, I disagree with it because for me it’s immoral and unbiblically.Â
When it comes to politics I am very into it, because one day I want to be a political science student. In this country’s politics my point of view is this. The government in the Philippines is so corrupt that it needs to be fixed. In order to fix it, I believe that we need a strong willed leader, and a man with an "iron fist" because Filipinos according to my experiences in the stress, schools, and in any type of environment are stubborn and have an unbending will when it comes to their opinion. That’s why in my own perspective we need a leader who will discipline us and to unite us in order to achieve our goals. In terms of political colour I am not biassed on whom I will put my side on, but there is one political colour that I hated : the yellow party or now so called pink army because these liberals "salots" enslaved the people and divided the country using confusion, that’s why I want to end their regime put back the old disciplined and obedient filipinos. That’s why I learned that elite and classy people are not always the right people, because behind their flowery words are chaos and damnation to the country.
Who am I? I'm just a HUMSS student from KNCHS who is proud of being a Filipino. I am an introverted person and many ideas run through my head. Sometimes it gives me joy and sometimes it gives me depression. Now I just want to graduate at this level and move on to the next part, and I believe that the next part, which is college, is the climax of my life where I will learn what I will become and what my purpose is in this world. I know that I'm still learning the ways of life, but these experiences and lessons that my parents passed on to me will not fade. I am a quiet person, especially in places that I feel hostile towards, but one day when I become the person that I should be, my spirit will shout freedom from my fear and hostility.