#identity flicker

It's hard to write about something so flitting, trying to pick up the pieces to capture a complete picture.

I myself have a vague-flicker (vaguetype flicker) of Flammie from the Mana game series. I do not have this flicker much, perhaps one or two times. Too little to really grasp the feelings properly. It also does not tie into my shapeshifterness.

I don't particularly feel flicker type of feelings when I'm in various forms, the identity permanence feels rather different to me than my flicker does.

when I'm a fae dragon, I am a fae dragon, no matter how temporary. But the flicker feeling of Flammie is that of a "blink and it's gone"--too faint, too slight of a scent on the wind, a flicker of feeling.

If you want to help, reply with your ‘types! And include if you want your name and/or a link back to you included on the list.

There is a certain type of “shift” I have experienced for as long as I’ve been in the otherkin community, but never had a word to describe it. So, I created one! I don’t expect it to really catch on, there’s not many people who experience this in the first place and it’s a bit of a long term, but I think it accurately describes what I experience, so I will use it :)

Identity Flicker: A temporary identity that feels like a kintype but is not solid or stable. Typically involuntary, but can be intentionally triggered.

Identity flickers are along the lines of fiction flickers but more general and not tied to just fictional characters. It can describe any type of flicker in your identity, whether it’s as an animal, a plant, a concept, etc.

Identity flickers are different from cameo shifts because cameo shifts are just about the shift itself, while a flicker is more like becoming something (in a nonphysical way) temporarily. As a polymorph, it’s easy for me to be influenced by my environment. A normal otherkin would, for example, watch a documentary about snakes and think “that was cool” or maybe have a cameo shift where they feel the mentality of a snake or feel the body of one. For me, I would watch the snake documentary and begin to feel like I am a snake- not in a cameo shift way, but as if it’s been a kintype this whole time. If you are someone who has experienced cameo shifts, you probably understand the difference between a shift and your identity.

The thing that distinguishes identity flickers from kintypes is that they are temporary. They feel essentially the same, but flickers don’t last. They may come and go, but are not nearly as solid and stable as actual kintypes. Flickers can feel exciting and can easily be confused as a new kintype, but will ultimately fade away.

I can’t speak for others who may experience identity flickers, but mine tend to last anywhere from a day to a couple of months. They are often caused by consuming media revolving around a specific character, animal, etc, which can range anywhere from watching an anime series to reading a kin essay about someone’s experiences as their kintype in detail. They can also be caused by being around certain animals, or talking to someone about their kintype experiences. Essentially, anything that makes you think about what it’s like to be a certain animal/character/etc. Again, this is just how it works for me. Feel free to add on more if you experience identity flickers as well!

How to tell if you are experiencing an identity flicker:

You have the feeling of “this is me” when looking at what you’re flickering into. It may feel more intense and exciting than finding a kintype. There likely are no previous signs that this was a kintype, such as not experiencing certain instincts or urges until the flicker. If you still can’t figure out if it’s a kintype or an identity flicker, wait it out! I know it can be frustrating and you might want the answers now, but the best option is to wait for it to potentially fade away. Remember you have all the time in the world to figure yourself out. There is no shame in experiencing identity flickers, or mistaking them for kintypes! They really do feel like kintypes. It’s not easy to tell them apart, and has taken me a lot of practice to even begin to figure them out before waiting for them to fade.

You could also use “identity shift” in place of “flicker”, I just felt flicker made the most sense because it aligns with fiction flickers.

Note: I’m aware “otherflicker” is a thing but I like words that are self explanatory, and dislike the weird “fictionkin vs otherkin” divide it seems to have, and dislike the amount of “other-” terms in general. “Identity flicker” works for me, no one else has to use it, but I felt it was important to make a coining post so that everyone has a chance to fully understand what it means to me!

Also, I did create this term to describe my experiences as a polymorph, but you do not have to identify as a polymorph to use this!

Said post here 

This feels a lot more in line with what I experience with what I called cameos in my shift post.

Maybe I should be calling them for myself in connection to Square cameo identity flickers?

Sure they are often “fictional characters” but not always and it always felt wrong to call them fiction flickers especially when they are not necessarily a situation of touching media and getting a flicker of them showing up in my identity or whatever. It’s people or things that show up in Square’s life that I interact or dealt with a lot sometimes like taking over as an identity for a bit before backing off.

It at least feels similar to a pseudo polymorph more than how fiction flicking often feels and I have noticed the closer they are to Square or the more Square Enix has connection to them the more often or the longer the flickers can last.

Like Sephiroth! Oh Sephiroth. I haven’t spoken in detail about him in a time. That should be my next post on my web site now that I think about it. But I know I have a lot of cameos of him in my identity because of how much Final Fantasy loves to use him as a face and bring him up but also I realized more recently that it might be because he spends a decent amount of his off time hanging out with Square and Konami. I have remembered some detailed memories of him and the two of us, some also including Cloud.

But in general I worked with him a lot to help with the Final Fantasy games production in the first place being such a major character so of course he’d be a common cameo. He’s Square’s friend and a very common repeat co-worker. He would show up a lot!

And on that end that is part of why I feel so awkward with fiction flicker too, because that feels off to what the experience is.

Just like those who feel uncomfortable using fiction kin because the kintype and experiences are obviously not fictional to them and use other words to erase the ‘fictional’ from it, these cameos are not fictional to Square. These are real people who’s stories and experience are being made into historical fiction video games, animations, movies, comics, and merchdise and they are real people who walk the streets same as the fans. Square is just an oracle translating their experiences to the company’s workers to use as a base for those medias.

So it’s weird to call them fiction so I like that identity flicker is just a nice way to not force certain words or concepts and really does bridge the gap of other and fiction.