#idemandrespect

I am not the type to say I'm sorry. I'm not even the type to open up and say how I feel. I'm not the type to admit I was wrong. I'm not even the type to acknowledge someone who is doing/has done me wrong. But sometimes I feel guilty in the way I respond/react to certain situations/people so I lay out my thoughts and feelings for them to read, comprehend and even pick up. I do this because I never want to feel as though the relationship (whatever it may be with whomever it may be) ended on /my/ terms. I never want to be told, "it was your fault." I do not want to be the one who gets blamed when there's no reason - so - I make amends. After these amends on my end have been made the person can either accept or decline - the decision they make will not make or break me. It will not complete me. It will not make me feel less of a person. It will simply be their own choice to do/take it however they please. I do not lose sleep over people who cannot come to terms with me. I do not lose sleep over people who have wronged me. I do not lose sleep over people who cannot comprehend my level of loyalty. I do not lose sleep when someone does not respond. I do not lose sleep when my words have not been even remotely thought of or appreciated by. I did not /have/ to apologize. I did not /have/ to forgive. I did not /have/ to reassure you of where I stand. I do not have to do anything. I did not have to s a y anything. But sometimes, I do. Sometimes, I will. In my mind, /if/ I let someone in and let them know where I stand, how I feel. I feel as though I should get recognition because of it. I also realize that not everyone is as considerate and mindful of my actions as I am. I try not to overreact to anything. I usually take things as they're thrown my way and push them to the side-evaluate-and deal accordingly. Majority of the time that leads to me pushing people away and them receiving the "Silent Treatment" but I'd rather it be that than me to say something out of line. I do not need anyone who does not need me. & I'll say it again: I. Do. Not. Need. Anyone. Who does not. Need. Me. So, with that being said: I'm not the type to say I'm sorry. I'm not even the type to open up and say how I feel. I'm not to type to admit I was wrong. And I'm NOT the type to acknowledge someone who is doing/has done me wrong. So if I ever /do/ ... Take it. Accept it. Run with it. F l y away with it. Tuck it in your pocket. Screenshot and print it out. Because there won't be many times, there won't be many days.

Here's a story that I found that I thought would be beneficial to share: I was working on a project with a guy in one of my classes that required us to be in a room with a few other students, without a teacher for our 90 minute class period. I was already fed up with this guy because he could not do any work so I ended up doing a majority of the project by myself. I kept on asking him to come over and help me with the project, and he would say 'in a minute sweetie/honey/baby' or something along those lines. Everytime he said that I said 'please stop calling me that, you know my name.' He continued and did not respect me. When he eventually came over to work on the project, it required us to work in close quarters. He asked me what my dating history was, if I'd ever kissed anyone, etc. I responded to his comments of 'probably not' 'I bet you haven't' etc. with how the previous year I had dated an upperclassman. He didn't believe me, but I didn't care. Then he started gently rubbing my belly, I told him stop, he refused, I batted away his hand and walked away. He was confused, he said "What that didn't feel good?" I said NO, don't do it anymore. Before the next class time I had realized that I was on my period so I became more aware of what I was saying and whenever I overreacted to a situation I aplologized and informed them that it was 'that time of the month'. When it came time for that class period he reacted rudely to me and I overreacted back, so I apologized and told him what time of the month it was. He concluded out loud "so that's why you didn't want your belly rubbed". I said "sure" in a sarcastic tone, but he didn't catch the sarcasm. I wanted to say "no, i didn't want you to rub my stomach" or "no, why did you even rub my stomach?" I didn't because I was afraid of his reaction. A simple no should be enough to get someone to stop touching you, but I have found this is not the case. Not just with this guy, but also with another guy who touches me on my knee or arm in a gentle way meant to arouse me, I tell him not to do that on a daily basis. I understand it's #notallmen but #yesallwomen need to be respected and thier choices about thier own bodies and who they want and don't want to touch them, and where their bounderies are need to be respected.

#nizzie #live at #wild941fm in #tampa #florida with #dannydonuts ! Dude is really #wild ! #irap #idemandrespect #livingvividdreams #matchbox