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I was in the process of eating the best tuna fish sammich I had ever made when all of a sudden, instead of sitting in a patch of sunshine outside on comfy grass, I was lying on the cold hard ground. My extra sammich was lying next to me, completely ruined, with dirt and rocks in the tuna and the bread torn to shit.
“Ah hell! I was almost finished!” I said as I angrily stuffed the rest of my good tuna sammich into my mouth. I sat up, cheeks bulging, and brushed myself off. I wish right then I had some water, because man this bite was too big and chewing was getting tiring. I swallowed the rest of the sammich in one big gulp.
“Where the hell am I anyway?” I wondered aloud.
“You are in the Empty Dimension in a pocket universe. It was discovered after the fall of the Reality Gate in the first Tumblr Rumblr. It’s seen as the dragon guardian’s ‘last breath’. This dimension is very unstable so I’d hurry up if I were you.” said a warm voice from behind me.
I turned around so fast I almost busted ass. That would have been embarrassing. A slight man smelling of cocoa and dressed in a coffee shop uniform smiled at me.
“Ah…well that’s weird, but thanks for the explanation. Are you my opponent?”
“Oh man no! I’m just an NPC, I only dropped in to explain the area. Have fun and good luck!” and with that he disappeared in puff of steam.
I stood there for a minute, looking around at the dull gray buildings that were crumbling at a slow but steady pace, pieces big and small hitting the ground. When is my opponent gonna show up anyway huh? I thought to myself. Then I noticed movement off to my right. I slowly turned to face the direction of the movement, making myself ready for any attack. My heart was starting to pound, my forehead getting a little sweaty, and then…..a white, tortoise shell cat hopped up onto the wall.
“Are. You. Kidding me?! A cat? You expect me to fight a cat?!” I yelled incredulously.
“Mrow?”
“But…I mean..it’s a cat.”
For a while I stood and stared at the cat while it licked it’s paws, occasionally glancing over at me uninterestedly. I took my gauntlet off, clipping it to my belt, the weight of it nearly pantsing me. Tentatively I approached the cat. It looked up at me, focusing suddenly as it stood. I reached my hand out, ready to be clawed or bitten, but instead I received a warm welcome. The cat rubbed against my hand and purred loudly.
“So I guess…does that mean that…I win?” I looked around and saw a little floating screen descend towards the cat and I. On it was my picture and a picture of the cat. There was big red ‘X’ through the cat’s picture.
“Well then, I guess so.” I sat down and pulled the cat into my lap where it curled into a little ball. While we waited to be picked up I cleaned off some of the tuna from my ruined sammich and fed it to the cat.
