#icyprompts

Opening shift was the first one he assigned his assistant manager. Being the boss had to have some benefits. But since her daughter was home sick today, so was she.

The grinder sounded like it was chewing up a spoon, extra loud in the silent shop. Loki patted it as he pulled out the aromatic grounds. It had the most consistent grind he'd found, despite the noise. He leaned on the tamper, the rounded handle pressing into his palm just right.

Snap the portafilter into place, flip the switch, listen to the water gurgle and percolate into the shot glass. He closed his eyes and inhaled. Dark, rich, oaky. His favorite beans.

He didn't bother with a cup, just sipped the crema off the top straight from the glass. As much as he hated waking up this early, he loved the quiet. It gave him a chance to take a proud breath, surveying his lovely kingdom before the day began.

Espresso downed, he turned on the lights and got to work. Bring in the bakery delivery, unstack the chairs from the table tops.  Jamie arrived as he was unchaining the outdoor furniture. She arranged the pastry display and hand-lettered the labels and the sign for the specials while he loaded the cash register and booted up the card reader.

Soon the doors were open and customers were trickling in for their caffeine fix. Loki greeted the ones he knew with a friendly smile and made small talk with new people as he took their orders.

“What are you going to do with this, Matt?” He rang up an order for a macchiato, a pound of beans, and a packet of dandelion seeds.

Matt grinned, spinning the bag in his hands. “Mom's new neighbor is being an asshole about her apple tree. I thought maybe some yellow would brighten up his perfect grass.”

Loki nodded. Perhaps he shouldn't encourage such pettiness, but he loved to see people use nature as a weapon. He sold dandelion, mint, and bamboo seeds, perfect for scattering on offending lawns. The shop “library”- a small bookshelf, really- had books on grafting fruiting plants to non-fruiting ones and other acts of bio-resistance.  No one got hurt, exactly, but the image of a pompous jerk having to battle aggressive, scraggly mint from taking over his yard made his heart happy.

He was pulling a double shot when a group of teenagers tumbled through the door.  He liked teenagers and he switched places with Micah so that he could run the register.  They lined up, giggling and chatting with each other, politely ordering drinks ranging from blended cupcake frosting to enough black caffeine to give someone his age a heart attack.  One kid was hanging back at the end of the line, shaking their head at their friend.

“Are you sure?” their friend asked, looking back as they got to the counter.  “I’ve got enough.

The kid shook their head again.

“Okay, then, I’ll just have a banana muffin and a small drip.”

Then it was their turn.  “Just ice water, please.”

“You want to grab a note?  I won’t tell.”  Loki tilted his head towards the wall painted with chalkboard paint and covered with all sorts of post-it notes under Jamie’s bright chalk lettering declaring “Pay It Forward.”  Anyone who needed a drink or pastry could grab one. His lovely customers always made sure the wall was full.

Another head shake.  Loki looked them over as he scooped ice into a cup.  He had a sixth sense about these sorts of things.  “How about a job then?”

They looked at Loki with shock.  “Thank you, really, but I don’t know anything about coffee.”

“I bet you know a thing or two about dishes  And if you really hate it here, because we are awful, my baker is always looking for help.”

Taking the cup of water from Loki, they looked around the shop, then dropped their head back down, defeated.  “No car.”

Micah piped up from behind the espresso machine.  “Loki pays for everyone to have a bus pass.”

“Think about it,” Loki said, sliding his card across the counter.  “What’s your name?”

The kid froze with a look of panic.  “I… uh… you can call me…”

Loki nodded sympathetically. “Hey, you know, there’s a book of names over on the shelf.  We annotated it too, always adding stuff.  Check it out and email me if you want the job.  Sign it ‘Ice Water.’”  He winked.  “I’ll know it’s you.”

He watched the kid join their friends, card slid into their back pocket.  

Loki loved his kingdom.

-----

If you haven’t seen this hilarious post about how terribly aggressive mint is, you’re missing out: What is wrong with mint

“And how will I defend myself if Stark or Rogers takes offense with me?”

“I'll take offense with you and I am much scarier than they are. Give ‘em up.”

Loki tapped the toe of his boot on the ground in a quick pattern. A pommel snapped out of the heel. He added the flat, flexible blade to the pile.

Brunnhilde circled around him. “Arms.”

He flicked his wrists, two lovely daggers with bright blue grips slipping into his palms. He tossed them onto the table and offered the Valkyrie an innocent smile.

She studied him.  “You've got more. I can tell.”

Loki laughed and reached into his tunic.  A serrated, ugly blade clanged against the rest.

“Did you get the one at the back of his neck?” Thor asked as he entered the room, holding four huge glass steins, full to the brim. Brunnhilde snagged one immediately.

Scowling at his brother, Loki pulled the kukri out of the back of his collar.

And a dirk from the sheath concealed on his thigh.

And the other thigh.

“There, are you satisfied?”  Loki stared at them and they just stared back, expectant.

Grumbling, he took out the long thin rapier-esque blade lining his belt.

“Are we trying to avoid another Ticket to Ride fiasco? Hey, Reindeer Games.” Stark's voice came from the air. “How about the one you're wearing like a murderous tramp stamp?”

Loki huffed.  He stuck a hand down the back of his pants and came up with a small triangular dagger.

Bucky had been watching, amused, from his seat on the couch.  “Don’t forget the switchblade I gave you.”

“I like these foldable knives,” Loki said as he slid his hand in his pocket.  “Brilliant idea, to fold them. And look at this one!” He couldn’t help but flourish his newest butterfly knife with a confident spin before he put it down too.

“Okay, who gave him a butterfly knife,” Tony groused as he finally joined them in the living room.  “That just seems like a terrible idea.”

“He’s good with it.” Bucky shrugged.

“I’ll just bet he is.”  Tony glared at them both and then at the heap of steel on his coffee table.  “Is that all of them?”

“Yes,” said Loki.

There was a collective snort around the room and a few mutters of “Bullshit!”

Steve finished making himself a plate of snacks, adding more chips to a precarious stack.  “This isn’t going to be like Pictionary, is it?”

“Yeah, what was your word again?”  Bruce shifted his glasses, balancing his plate of vegetables on a knee. “Drawing a stick figure and then stabbing it repeatedly is not how you show ‘mailman.’  And neither is holding a knife at Bucky’s genitals!”

“No one was guessing correctly! You all understood Roger’s drawing immediately.” Loki crossed his arms over his chest with a pout.

“Being able to draw better than a god is my greatest achievement,” Steve drawled.

“Well, don’t worry, Rock of Ages.  I think you’ll like tonight’s game better.  If you’ll get this stockpile of terrifying weaponry off our game space.”  Tony pointed needlessly.

Loki didn’t think that Tony meant for him to just sweep them onto the floor.  But that’s what he did.

It made a satisfying clang-clatter-clang.

Shaking his head after the noise died down, Tony laid a black box down on the table.  “Cards Against Humanity.”

“I like the ‘against humanity’ part,” Loki said, intrigued.  “The box is taped shut, I have got a knife here-” A slim elegant blade appeared in his hand.

“LOKI!”

Prompt Experiment Master

Loki flung open the window with an explosion of motion.  The children flinched, but didn’t run.  “What is the meaning of this!” Loki shouted.

“Trick or treat, man!” yelled mini-Iron Man.  “That’s the deal!”

Loki’s smile wasn’t exactly evil, but it wasn’t reassuring.  “Trick or treat,” he said quietly. 

The kids, unsure about throwing another egg now that they’d been spotted, turned to run.  

Run right into Loki, grinning with a truly spooky grin that promised to take great joy in disappearing children.

They screamed.  Mini-Thor glanced back in panic- only to see Loki still leaning with his hands on the windowframe.  That only made him scream louder.  They dropped their eggs and bolted.

Loki’s clone vanished from the street.  

The real Loki closed the window and took a handful of candy from the bucket by the door on his way back to the couch.

The next hour passed peacefully enough, until he became aware of laughter outside the house.  Sighing, he got up again.  He was baffled by the scene out the window.

There were at least five children, older (or at least taller) this time.  Their costumes were haphazard but he recognized an attempt at a dragon and what mortals called a “zombie.”  They were trying to be quiet but were not at all succeeding.  Rolls of paper were being tossed back and forth between them, high into the air to unravel and drape over the trees in the yard.

Well this is simple.

He took control of one of the rolls as it flew through the air.  It swooped and dove at the children.  They stopped and stared, bewilderment clear on their faces.

They screamed when the paper on the tree came to life and reached for them like a bloodthirsty tissue squid.  It wrapped around an ankle, causing the child to shriek and flail in panic until their friends pulled them away.

Smiling to himself, Loki picked out the “Kit-Kats” and “Starburst” from the bucket before returning to his book.  A chocolate smudge stayed on his cheek.

The doorbell rang.  

He didn’t even get off the couch.  He conjured an illusion on the doorstep and laughed to himself when he heard the shouts and running footsteps through the door.  His foot tapped and bounced on the armrest.

It was almost midnight.  He was not expecting an insistent knock on the window.  He pushed it open.

He was staring directly into the robotic, glowing eyes of Iron Man.

“Heard this house was haunted.”  The faceplate flipped up.  “Want to explain that?”

“Tony!  That’s not what I said to do!”  

Loki looked past Stark to see Barton, wearing a ridiculous feathered headband, perched in the formerly-demonic papered tree.  

“I want to see the spooky crap he’s been doing,” he said with almost a pout.

“Yeah, Loki, trick or treat.”

He turned, unsurprised to find Romanov had snuck in behind him.  She had one star painted over her right eye but otherwise looked the same.  “That is the deal, is it not?”

“But you’re out of treats.”  Stark nodded towards the bucket that only had “Necco wafers” left in it.  “Did you… eat them all?  How are you not bouncing into the stratosphere with that much sugar?”

“Tricks it is then!” shouted Barton.  “Come on, Loki!  Show us what you’ve got!”

Oh, this would be fun.

-----

Master Post of Fics