I had a dream last night. I don't usually remember my dreams because for years I did a mantra before sleeping repeating "I will not remember my dreams." I did that because I didn't want to remember the nightmares. I wanted to be able to function during the day. It works pretty well for me but occasionally I'll remember something.
Anyway, last night I dreamt I was at my parents house. I think I was younger. I don't live there anymore. My cat who has passed was there. I had to have her put down just over two years ago. The vet said she either had developed a neurological disorder or it was cancer. Either way it wasn't treatable and she was suffering.
In my dream, she was a juvenile again so her fur was shorter and lighter. She was a ragdoll cat and they get darker as they get older. I walked over to her and laid on the floor. I scooped her towards me so my arms surrounded her. We were face to face looking in each other's eyes.
Then, in my mind she said: I miss you.
It melted my heart. In my mind, I said: I miss you, too. Then, I woke up.
I cried for a while and it's making me cry writing about it. She wasn't super affectionate and I always felt like she would have been happier with a different owner. She was kind of bitchy and particular. When she got old she was really cranky. But she was part of my family for fourteen years. I love her. I do miss her a lot.
Now I'm ugly crying and my current cats are looking at me wondering what's wrong with me. This is why I hate dreams.
