#icprompts

What did you receive for your last birthday?

Who did you give birthday presents to last year?

No one. They have never been something I have seen need to celebrate, nor had anyone to celebrate them with. My own is lost, but I know my children’s. I will have to figure out something I can give them next year... I do not want them to think of me as uncaring.

How do you feel about your co-workers?

None of them would cut it in the Kor’kron. Discipline is a rarity. Sometimes I wonder if that is a failing on my part as a leader, but it is truly not the type of Order I would care to be Warlord for. We are not a true military force. So it is fine, I suppose.

What do you do for recreation?

I read a lot of history books. Mostly on military theory and different methods that have been employed by different sides. This has been exceptional on Draenor. The Shadowmoon scholars are very detailed, if insane at times.

Who do you live with?

I live with my mate. We have been living together since we returned from the expedition to Outland, and even during that trip I suppose one could say that we were ‘living’ with each other.

<A doodle of an elf-ish figure lying against a wolf blocks off the writing>

Her old home was burnt down by some other elf. I don’t know where she stayed during her first few weeks with the Order, but I think she was happy to have somewhere to stay... Even if it was alone in a tower miles from anywhere with some orc she had just met. We were mated soon after, and there was never any reason to be separated, unless one of us was on a mission, and the other wasn’t.

Strangely, I don’t recall my time in the tower prior to her arrival. I know I stayed there... I know she moved in with me there. But the days I spent there melt together into one long span of being alone. When Jataral arrived I was forced to realize that I was still worth something beside the summation of my vows to another.

Are you married? Does you have a lover, significant other, girlfriend, boyfriend?

Who is your confidant?

Jataral, of course. That will be the answer to each of these. Who is my best friend? Jataral. Who is the one person I’ve been closest to? Jataral. Who do I live with? Who do I feel most safe with? Who do I want to grow old with?

My home is the only one I would share anything with. I would answer any question she asked. She knows what I am, as an orc, and she maintains that I am a person, no different from her or anyone else. Every time I look at her, I am reminded of the depth of violence and cruelty I am capable of. Would she treat me differently if she had that mirror? She still loves me despite the injuries she has endured. I doubt she has forgotten about them.

But I do not tell her everything. I’ve seen her struggle with her past. The few times I’ve woken her up, and the few times she’s woken me up with her cries and her flailing. More recent issues in particular. She has enough to worry about. I hope she can trust me more as we live beside each other. I know she will be a good mother. She is better than any mate I deserve. She is strong.

It is not from a lack of trust that I don’t tell her everything on my mind. What would I tell her? I broke my oath to the Warchief to chase my own whims. I abandoned my duty and ran away. I chased away those who followed me. I arrived at Orgrimmar, battered bloody hungry and broken, and found nothing. I followed exhaustion-induced dreams to join the Order and swear myself to Larrendias, and still I found no purpose. Fighting against the Legion does not define my existence. Only when I hold Jataral in my arms do I find some purpose in my life; To hold her close and make her happy. Now I lead the Order in a campaign against the Iron Horde with the intent of hunting down one orc inparticular who I fear would harm her if they were aware of her existence. I kill other orcs, who could have been my uncles and aunts and grandparents and friends in another time. I slaughter them, and I watch the elves laugh in revelry at their ‘victory’.

I want to be open with Jataral, but I don’t think these are things she needs to know. Without knowing anything, she rushes to my embrace every time I come back, even if I feel like a murderer. Even if I told her, there is nothing to say, and I know she would only hold on tighter. There are no words for the warm happiness that fills my heart when she tugs on my braids. I can only aspire to give back to her barely as much as she has given to me.

<A map of the western coast of Gorgrond is inserted next to the page. A circle is drawn in charcoal at a point along the beach. A doodle of a building of some kind is scribbled off the coast of the map.  Five bedrooms were detailed, one labeled ‘Home’, one ‘N&J’, and three others initially labeled ‘Children’. Two of these had been hastily crossed out and relabeled, one ‘Shadow walkers Uninvited Guests’, and one ‘Invited Guests’.

If you developed a handicap or debilitating illness, how would you handle it?

The possibility of a great loss has been a real possibility on mind. I will never admit it to anyone, but I feared the day I would confront Kromruk. I looked back on my memories and reviewed the way he lived and fought so that I would be able to counter everything he was, but it is Lu’kir, not Kromruk. I don’t know what to expect. But if I am injured to the point where I can no longer go to war, I would see it as a blessing. It would be less of a worry to Jataral, and I could spend more time with her. So long as I remove the only thing on this world that truly threatens her, I could be at peace with any injury.