#ichidere

You do~

And inside you find...

Will you be attending?

Should you choose to, I hope you think it is as magical as I do 🕊️

The second stage is when the silence is more loud. He's more distant and often needs some space to himself to introspect (what he would call it) or brood (what I would call it). His natural scowl will seem to get a bit deeper at these times. Sometimes, I'll brush my thumb between his brows to smooth the wrinkles and advise him to breathe. Even to breathe with me in a short exercise sometimes. Just as a reminder that I don't know what's going on, but I'm here for him when I think I see him getting a little too deep. Because at this second stage, I'm not getting anything out of him until he's ready to tell me or our friends that know exactly what's going on force it out of him in a way I can't.

The third stage of stress is when I believe him to be at his peak. He's physically restless and fidgety, which is really unlike him. I KNOW something is heavy on his mind that he either feels powerless or doesn't know what to do about. But he doesn't want to bring me into anything or worry me, so he remains tight-lipped. He wants to figure things out on his own. Obviously, I hate to see him this way, so my move is to comfort him how I can, given the circumstances.

I will come to him, place my hands on both his cheeks and look into his eyes. I see storms raging in them as he looks back at me. We take a moment and freeze. Just to focus on one another for a bit. Then I will gently tilt his head down and kiss his forehead, before bringing him into my arms. I'll hold him and speak softly. Tell him that I know something is bothering him, but i won't ask him to tell me anything. Tell him that we need to find a more productive way to release this energy in his body, and ask him how he wants to proceed. Sometimes we'll go out on a walk. Sometimes we'll lift weights. Sometimes we'll play a video game. Sometimes we'll draw. Sometimes we'll cook. Just something to get his body moving and his mind on something else for a while.

At times, he won't know how he wants to proceed. He can't think of anything he'd want to do. That is when I offer up myself. If he wants, he can have me. 9 times out of 10 in that situation he will say yes. (The other 1 of 10 times we will just end up cuddling for a while.)

It is at this point that once we are in the bedroom (our stress relief sex is always in the bedroom where we are safest and coziest <3) that I gently usher him through everything. I'm readying our bed while I have him go splash his face in the bathroom. When the bed is done and he comes out, I am undressing him; removing all but his shirt (more on that soon). I will dress down to either just my bra or full nudity depending on the vibe. I'm getting him on the bed, kissing his body, hitting all his sensitive spots, caressing his hips, whispering sweet nothings to him. Doing basically everything but touching him in that spot bc he's more slow to warm up in these times. I just focus on loving on him gently. I don't start touching him there until he either moves my hand to it, or asks me to. Usually by then it is a solid pole and it's hot 🌡. I'll stroke him for a little bit and we'll kiss until he's ready to flip us over.

Missionary is his chosen position just about every time he's using my body for stress relief. He wants to see me. He wants to see into me. He wants me to see him. He wants me to see something in him. To show me something he cant find the strength to say in words.

At any other time in missionary we are very close quarters. Most of our bodies are touching. It is very intimate.

Not to say this is not intimate, but there is a marked level of tension in the air that is not sexual. Like, his state of mind manifests itself physically in that missionary at these times is at arms length as he is above me.

He'll start with a slow grind as he feels things out; his brows furrowing upwards as he tries to focus on the good sensations, grunting here and there. When he starts feeling it is when he'll take the hem of his shirt and put it in his mouth. He needs to bite on something. The grinding becomes more of a deep ramming, and he goes from grunting here and there to a bit more whiny/whimpery.

And its like AUGH. Cus the visual AND him whimpering is so HOT but I hate it has to come from circumstances that bother him. Bc I can still see it in his eyes.

Between my own mewls here and there i am murmuring to him, affirming him, complimenting him, reassuring him, just being present with him.

When he's getting close, his eyes will flutter closed. And I want nothing more than to pull him close. But I leave him where he desires to be until his eyes clench and he spills inside me.

I don't always get to finish with these sessions, but that's okay. He'll apologize for it in those instances, but I shush him. I just wanna support him fr. I'm happy to hold him again at the end of it all.

I love him sm he is my baby he is my everythiiiinnnggggg 🥹🧡.

With me, it’s not so much progressive stages of stress, but more so 3 differing kinds. Different ways I instinctively deal with a given situation.

Type 1: Head full

I can’t stop thinking about whatever is bothering me. I'm getting in my head; overthinking about the occurrence that disturbs me, replaying it over and over, pondering how it could have gone differently, having realizations after the fact, wishing i would have said something different to better get my point across, drowning in the crippling ordeal of being perceived the wrong way, knowing I should not be this affected and yet continuing to feel. My face feels like stone and my head begins to hurt. I am increasingly aware of the tension in my brows, trying to make sure I don't look mad or something. I feel warmer the longer I think. Especially in the face. I feel my pulse more.

Similarly to Ichigo in his first stage, if he asks me about whatever bothers me, I am more likely to tell him about it in this type of stress response. We can talk it out. Maybe there will be some reassurance, some criticism, some advice, etc. He is there to make me feel heard so I can get the racing thoughts out of my head. So I can move on with my daily life frfr and not be trapped in this simmering emotion.

Type 2: Head empty

Stress is weighing on me. I am frustrated, but whatever situation I was put in is something I am still actively navigating; perhaps by obligation. I have no choice but to continue to try to push through it. But because I don't have the space to overthink, I instead shut down and just go through motions trying to get through to the other side. Until I can breathe again. And by that time I am just tired. Too tired to begin to overthink even then. A little relieved things are over but still can't quite believe I was put under that much stress. Especially so if it wasn't because of my doing.

When in this type of stress response, like his second stage, if possible, I tend to be more to myself. I feel like if I try to explain things to someone that they just won't understand my thoughts and be somewhat careless and uncaring with their response. The weight of that possibility is too much for me. The amount of emotional effort it takes to express myself when I'm that bothered is not worth risking. Even just practicing in my head or out loud alone if I feel somewhat resolved to do so will have me shedding tears.

Sometimes when I get like this, I assure Ichigo that I trust him. I see that my being this way is bothering him. I feel that I need to let him know that i'm aware he would never try to hurt me. I just... can't bring myself to talk about whatever is going on. Other times he already knows and is ready to just do what he can to support me.

This is where sometimes he will offer himself up sexually for stress relief. When I am in this type of stress, his typical move is to eat me out. As long as we have been together, I am still shy about this man giving me head. I will be a blushing mess and can barely look at him. Also I feel his view looking up at me is probably so unappealing??? This is all strategic on his part, though.

Since I can't tell him of my stress, this is his way of having me be vulnerable to him in another fashion. He will hold me firmly by the legs or hips to keep me from squirming, to keep me from humping his face too much, to allow him control of the situation and hindering me from hiding or running away. When he's doing this, he is making sure my eyes stay on him too and it burns me from the inside out. And he knows it, staring back at me with his tongue between my legs. If I break our shared gaze he will either tell me to look at him or stop his ministrations until I look back at him.

It can be a long song and dance that pushes me to tears, but he's resolute. If it gets to that point, he will hold my hand to comfort me, but nothing else changes. I will be crying when I cum as I drown in the depths of his pools of brown. Once the waves of orgasm finish washing over me is when he allows me to look away. When I start to squirm a bit and sob shakily; fisting at my eyes.

He'll give me a minute to process the physical and emotional release before he's caressing me, and moving in to hold me. Telling me how proud he is and that no matter how much i looked away or how stubborn I was that I did good. Reassuring me that he's here and everything is gonna be okay <3.

Type 3: Avoidance

A certain something I do not want to face looms on the horizon, bringing up an anxiety in me that I cannot always place. I keep telling myself I have more time, that I will get to it, and do other things instead that I enjoy, or simply get rest, as a chronic procrastinator does. I've gotten quite a bit better about it over the years I think, but sometimes I do have that nagging itch, to turn my gaze the other way and keep the stress at bay. Slowly letting it creep closer and closer until it is upon me, and more stress inducing than it ever had to be.

The sex that happens for relief in this instance of stress response is usually a while after the fact of the stressing event. My own choice to ignore whatever I didn't want to face leading to a compounding of high stress and being forced into action is not a good time for it lmao.

Ichigo did warn me multiple times about this upcoming stressor, but uh... 🧍🏾‍♀️. My brain said no sibnfkernbikdfd.

It will be a 50/50 on if he decides to help me in the moment or leave me to deal with it myself. Extremely valid of him ngl. A girl needs to learn sometimes ✊🏾😔.

He doesn't take joy in me being stressed though, of course. Once what I needed to get done is all said and done, he will move in to help me decompress. Not always in a sexual way, but when it is, he goes all in. Wants to get me to a point where I'm so blissful I can't even think, stress be condemned to hell.

Ichigo will set up our room. With candles (on candle warmers cus he's safe like that uwu), rose petals, music and all. Will have me undress and lay on the bed on my stomach. Get me nice and oiled up as rubs me down with a full body massage, gently working the tension out of my muscles. Once he's done I'm nearly falling asleep, but he'll have me position myself so there is a pillow under my hips and I am hugging another pillow.

From there, my man will commence hitting it from the back. Again, he isn't really holding me down, but holding me firmly (not that I planned to move much anyway lol).

Also note that when he is doing this he is again at arms length above me; considering that I may still need that space as he does when I let him use my body for stress relief. (what a thoughtful sweetie 🥺)

He will make me cum no less than three times. He will hold me firmly as mentioned before until I cum the first time. Leading up to the second time, his touch is more light; more comforting. His hands, big and warm, are rubbing circles into my skin, stroking down my back, etc. Leading up to the third time, his thrusts are a lot slower, but deeper. He stops sometimes to kiss down my back before continuing his movements. He's calling me his pretty girl and telling me how much I deserve this; how much he loves me.

Rounds past that point could be anything fr. But know that by the end of it all, my heart is full, my puthy is full, my mind is full but only of him, and I am crying bc I am in utter euphoria 🕊️.

WHEW ‼️