#icantalk

so yesterday was my birthday, i had mcdonalds because they brought back the big tasty here which has been an absolute favorite of mine since my teens, its the third time they bring it back and then like a month later it disappears for 10 years or so, anyway i was thinking about my horror movie excel file, i just saw late night with the devil and woooohhh boy that was something, def recommend if you like horror. I have this excel file with all the horror movies ive watched, then i added a new worksheet for holiday movies, and then for shows and non horror movies cause why not, seeing as my attention span and object permanence like to leave the building often i like to keep track of things, also autism tm, and like it never occured to me how much autism affects my every choice until i told a friend casually about my very normal excel file and he went "having your entire movie viewing experience in an excel has to be the most autistic thing ever" and im just here like mann yeah it is, like theres no other way around it who does a list like this. Anyway love me excel file, its so organized.

dont know where i was going with this, if anyone wants horror recs just let me know i guess??

I quit my job a while ago, did it to study and because it was a hell job. Got a thing and now i have a chance at a job for that thing but it all feels like too much, im constantly feeling like ill just crash and burrn and if it doesnt work everyone will be so disapointed in me, but mostly me, ill be disappointed, i dont know, it sucks.

idk

Cant stand the rain - The rescues

Feeling good - both nina simone's og and muse's cover

Juice - Lizzo

hardtimes - paramore

Camisa negra - Juanes

Instead of tagging ppl i offer you this bonus song

liike this has been a trip, im dying of anxiety but we told my mom today and she took it better than we thought, honestly even if the apartment is not that big a deal or if it ends up beng a mess of a place, im feeling not terrible about this? idk, im suddenly taking meds for my depression, moving out, things are looking up i guess, it’s hard, change is hard when you are autistic but like this is for the best and no longer having to listen to my mom and see her everyday its going to do wonders on my psyche, idk changee is change, you gotta mess shit up to create something, etc etc

And its a great game, i love the aesthetic, the theater kid energy from the protag, the whole going into people’s palaces as a metaphor for their distorted desires and what not

But I hate how little self awareness it has of it’s own themes, first boss is a gross asshole who preys on women and objectifies them, this is a fact it’s presented as a plot point to show he’s evil, main girl is a victim of his, we go into the guy’s palace, steal his desire, main girl has this whole scene of almost killing him but wanting him to confess of his crimes instead, all good and shit, except asshole is a professor and main girl is a teen in her 16s/17s, he is a pedophile and in no part of the story is this addressed, main girl gets a special suit because of her per son a and ohh it’s a skintight suit! and it’s referenced by the guys as a oohh sexy! also her pe r sona is a fucking dom lady hmmmm ok, moving along, you can bond with multiple people and this gives you different skills, you can bond with a doctor lady, with homeroom professor, with a news writer, and a lot of other adult ladies.Well, guess what, you, a 16/17 year old boy, can also romance most of these adult women if you max out their bond!!!! :0

fucking game

I love the story and all but the way it treats romance and attraction and women when not story related (i’ve not proceeded past art asshole so have only met main girl of main thieves so far) is gross to say the least, also homeroom teacher being a sexy maid also is gross as fuck, idk if this is a real thing or a fetish from the producers of the game but either way self awareness through the ground, it’s so far deep it had a funeral and everything!

Honestly surprised they went that direction, like I know they’ve shown nothing but good writing throughout the series so i’m so happy it has hold up til season 3 but with animation you are so used to cliches and bullshit writing

Having a black woman as a protagonist, and also someone who was previously shown to be a piece of shit on season 2, and make here change through facing her flaws and learning and realizing it’s not her place to fix others but just do the best for herself is amazing.

I went into the tag to see what other ppl thought and like there’s a lot of ppl taking simon for what he was and understanding he was not gonna change but there’s also so many ppl just wanting him to be redeemed saying he deserved it or something but overlooking all the parts of the story where he could have decided to change. Like infinity train is about change, about you having to learn your flaws and deciding to change them, Tulip and Lake did this, and so did Grace but Simon declined every chance he got.

That’s the whole point, Simon didn’t want to change, ever, if anything he wanted to be the leader of the Apex, there’s so many moments where you see this, we get a glimpse on the novel he was writing and it said “the rise of the king” as a subtitle or something like that, I assume the story was a big metaphor to him taking control of the Apex which was why he wanted Grace to read it so badly.

I mean im  not surprised ppl are defending white evil boy #28 or whatever, but it’s so blatantly racist and sexist to just dismiss Grace’s redemption over Simon’s

Just my thoughts about this I guess.