#i'm feeling dramatic

you catch a glimpse of each other, and your gazes linger

and in that moment you feel something, maybe there’s an ever so slight tug on your heartstrings when you look at this stranger, and maybe he feels it too because you’re looking at each other for just a bit too long

you wonder where he’s going, and he’s wondering what you’re after but it’s none of your business and it’s none of his business

your pace has slowed for just a moment and maybe you consider to stop and speak to the man who’s caught your attention, and when you look up to glance at him again, you realize he’s almost standing still among the masses

he’s wondering if you feel the same gravitational pull he does towards you

time stops -

but no one initiates and you go about your way, so nothing ever happens, no one ever takes that first step

there is no such thing as a soulmate

there is no such thing as love at first sight

time resumes -

you look away and your pace quickens, you’re late for something, something important

what’s the use in talking to strangers?

after all, the only reason why he stands out is because he’s tall, nothing more

yet as you walk away, somewhere in the recesses of your mind that knows time more than just one tick after another on a clock flashes an entire reel of decades with each other, a shared life beautiful and full

but no one ever makes that first step that day.

will you remember the moment parallel lines crossed

Yet here I sit, dwelling in the memory of you

How many days has it been?

Numbers seem so dull now

I used to count the days until I’d see you

What am I supposed to count anymore?

I can’t bring myself to pay attention to the days

There is only sun up and sun down

Do you think of me?

Do you feel anything towards me?

Do you play out dozens of ‘what if’ fantasies of us?

Tell me you hate me

I just need to know you feel something

Tell me everything I did wrong

That you do things in spite of me now

That the image of me enrages you

Just please feel something

I don’t think I can bare the idea of meaning nothing to you

I want to forget you

I want to stop hoping you’re doing well

I want to stop screaming about how much I hate you

I miss you.

I miss you I miss you I miss you

But I don’t really miss you.

I miss the idea of you and I miss what we once had

Too much has happened to go back

And we can’t forgive each other enough to try again

I dream of apathy

Of a day I can hear your name and think of you as I would a stranger

I guess you are a stranger now

I guess I am too

That being said: I've seen things. 0.0

Things that the sweetest of fluff can never erase and I have no one to blame but myself.