#i'll get to those.. eventually.. probably

Moash/Szeth

I'm sorry, these two are not compatible as a pairing. Szeth would not be even slightly interested in Moash unless they were thrown together by circumstance. And Moash would not have the patience for someone like Szeth. He might like the idea of him in theory, but in practice I think Moash prefers people who he could hold conversations with. Szeth is the most dramatic, edgy, pretentious person on the planet, and Moash is Some Guy. Neither would really be sympathetic to the other's problems and outlooks, but neither would be so worked up about it that they'd want to fix the other. I definitely could contrive of plenty of situations in which they're put together and have to interact a lot, and feelings blossom. But I think for me this ship kind of only makes sense if it's based in literal attraction. Moash is into Szeth because he's cool and dangerous and regicidal, and he keeps trying to hang out with him. Szeth is like "maybe if I just fuck him once, he'll be satisfied and go away." Moash doesn't really know what he's doing (I know that I'm probably declaring war on all other Moash enjoyers when I say that—anyway see endnote) and this ship turns into "Moash Learns Sex Ed From the Assassin in White." There you go, this is my honest take. (Moash would love Nightblood though. So maybe he's pursuing Szeth because he wants to coparent his swordchild.)

Moash/Venli

I have thought about these two before. I have tried to make it work in my head. They sure seem like they have a lot in common, traitors to their own kind, trapped under Odium's thumb, miserable and alone. It probably would have been very cool if they'd actually gotten to go anything together. I can imagine them having been given a very compelling arc in the universe where the books didn't become bored with them both, and still cared about them as people. But I think my true to canon read of them is that they would have zero chemistry. They wouldn't hate each other or anything. Nor would they like each other. Put them in a room together, they talk about the weather and then one of them mentions that they really should be getting along. THAT BEING SAID, I do think that you could get some sparks to fly if you turn them into a throuple. Throw Leshwi in there, and you could some sniping and hateflirting out of them as they compete for her attention. Or try El, maybe Venli is too sensible for his advances until Moash is also in the picture to make her jealous. Szeth? Utterly unhinged, you would have to be this specific anon or me in order to seriously consider Venli/Szeth/Moash, but I like the idea of them both trying to pull him along as their partner in crime for their respective agendas and ambitions, almost in tug of war fashion, and then ending up pulling one another along as well. They need a third, but once they have one I do think they could be fun.

Venli/Szeth

This ship could go two ways for me, they could be evil or chill. If they're evil, the relationship would be a lot of Venli bossing Szeth around while also envying his infamy. They would Get Shit Done. They actually make for a pretty terrifying power couple, but Szeth is always the one people fear and respect, Venli's contributions are always downplayed. The famous Assassin in White. Why does that get to be his thing? In listener culture, all assassins are supposed to wear white, her people were the ones who gave him those clothes in the first place! Szeth will remind her that he does not enjoy his fame, and he would be perfectly content to be forgotten. In fact if she derives no pleasure from their exploits, then he would be happy to stop at any time. Venli isn't finished yet, she will be recognized, and Szeth is going to help her. They would kind of hate each other but Venli would get off on the feeling of power she gets from the relationship, and Szeth would enjoy being with her as a form of self-harm. They'd be really awful together. Hmmmm I'm kind of selling myself on this.

The chill version would involve them meeting up after they've both broadly decided that they don't want to be terrible anymore. They would sit on a couch sharing a tub of ice cream, and they'd trade stories of all the horrible things they've done. They sort of nod along to one another and say "yeah that's fucked up, you are a bad person." It would be kind of comforting to see that there's another former monster out there, and that they've found reasons to keep living. Their relationship would be pretty low-key, they wouldn't be joined at the hip or anything, but they'd come home in the evening and talk about their days. Szeth will have cleaned the place up and made dinner, Venli would hum to Peace which Szeth doesn't understand but which does help a little with the screams, it's all very domestic. When they're in a room with other people, they could have private conversations in one of Szeth's ten languages and trade comments and observations with each other that no one else can understand. People assume they're scheming, but making everyone nervous while discussing grocery lists is about as cruel as these two retired problems-causers are willing to be these days. They would be very understated in how they demonstrate affection, but they'd be fond of each other.

In either scenario, the aesthetic is kind of great. Smooth little tiny guy X big spiky woman who's twice his height, what's not to love. Venli would hide behind Szeth in a fight, and Szeth would hide behind Venli in a medium stakes social interaction. And you know what. I have never before managed to come up with a Venli ship I liked, but I think I don't hate this one? I guess it wins.