sawyer paced back and forth in the locked bathroom, her heart racing, she was close to being on the verge of tears. when she heard the doorknob turn, she looked, and quickly closed the door behind the other. “you know i came here with a friend, and he ditched me to go have sex with some girl, please don’t leave.” she said whispering the last part. she didn’t notice that she was crying until she felt her face hot and wet with tears. “look at me, hanging in a bathroom at one of the biggest parties of the fall, i could stay right here or disappear and nobody’d even notice at all.” she sighed, “i’m hanging in the bathroom ‘cause my best friend kinda left me alone, and i’d rather fake pee then stand awkwardly or pretend to check a text on my phone.” she begins breathing rapidly, almost to the point of hyperventilating, “i’m waiting it out ‘till it’s time to leave, and picking at grout as i softly grieve. I am hiding but he’s out there just ignoring all our history, memories get erased, and i’ll get replaced with a newer cooler version of me.” she chokes between her sobs, her breathing too rapid. “I half regret the beers.” she says in a futile attempt at making a joke. suddenly she hears banging on the door, banging that’s not actually there, “do you hear that?” knock knock knock knock, “they're gonna start to shout soon!” knock knock knock knock, “oh hell yeah I'll be out soon!” she shouts to no one but the person locked in the bathroom with her. knock knock knock knock, “it sucks he left me here alone,” knock knock knock knock, “here in this battlezone,” clang clang clang clang, “I feel the pressure blowing up,” bang bang bang bang, “my big mistake was showing up.” she goes to the sink splashing water in her face, going to open up the door, but she doesn’t hear the knocking anymore, she looks at herself in the mirror, and then to the person staring dumbfounded. “is there a sadder sight? this is a heinous night, i wish i stayed at the hotel in bed watching cable,” her heartbeat picks up again, “or i wish i offed myself instead wish i was never born. i’m just ‘sawyer who’s a loner, so she must be a stoner’ ‘drives a pt cruiser, god she’s such a loser!’ sawyer flyin’ solo the one they think that they know.” she sinks back down to her spot in the floor, “and all you know about me is my name, awesome party, i’m so glad i came.” she says sobbing quietly to herself now.
