western nights
eren x fem!reader —ᡣ𐭩 fic summary: western nights by ethel cain, but make it eren w/c: 2.2k warnings: elements of a toxic relationship, mentions of sex (mdni), theft, drugs, a bar fight
Glass sprayed in all directions. It sparkled in the dim yellow light and settled on the dark, damp carpet below. It would have been mesmerising if the blood that followed hadn’t tainted the glistening and turned it into something more ominous.
Patreons gasped around the room, but many left before the bottle was in his hand. You’d seen it happen from behind the bar but paid no mind, wiping down the counter before you from the drinks people spilt when they jumped at the sound of glass on bone.
You hated saying you were used to it, but it was true. Eren Jaeger showed affection for you through bruised skin and bloody fists—and in this case, a beer bottle. To say it was love would be the truth; in some twisted way, it was his version.
Slurred shouting from the man who had said vulgar things to you an hour earlier echoed in the small bar. But Eren didn’t let up; he never did. "Who raised you? You don't say shit like that to a woman! Piece of shit."
You didn’t dare lift your eyes from the sink as chaos ensued, as Eren kicked the man while he was down. People yelled at them to stop fighting—who were they kidding? Eren stopped when he wanted to.
Swallowing, you peeked at Eren. His dark expression and fiery eyes were focused on the man on the floor, whose blood was pouring out of his nose and the wound on his temple at the same worrying rate. A blow to his left eye was the only damage to Eren’s face; the red would soon turn purple, black, green, yellow. You’d seen enough on his skin to know the cycle.
The grandfather clock behind him chimed. Midnight.
A clap sounded behind you. “Alright! Everybody out!”
Your manager looked the other way regarding fights in his bar, so the man on the floor received no pity, and Eren was dealt no punishment.
“Go home,” he said to you, patting your shoulder. “And clean up your shit of a boyfriend.”
You pursed your lips and nodded once, untying the apron at the base of your back. “Thanks. I will.”
The bar door closed behind you and you spotted Eren in the parking lot, leaning against his pickup.
He was so devilishly handsome you felt you may have sinned if you dared a look at him. Eren blew smoke through his lips, drawn from the cigarette hanging loosely from his fingertips. Leather hugged his biceps, and his hair was tied in a bun–your favourite.
As you walked toward him, Eren flicked the cigarette somewhere to his right and gave you a knowing look. The skin around his eye had already faded to purple, and a small cut you missed before sat high on his cheekbone, dried blood flaking off beneath it.
“Thank you,” You mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his waist. Anything else would result in an argument, and you were too tired to deal with his bickering.
Eren pressed his lips to the top of your head and hummed.
You said nothing and leaned back, tilting your head at his injury. Your fingers traced the mark, and he didn’t pull away. “Does it hurt?”
He shook his head and shrugged with one shoulder. “Anything for you, you know that. The son of a bitch deserved it.”
His hands held your elbows with such softness you’d often wondered how they could maim someone so easily. The same strong hands that held you close in the most intimate moments. The ones that caressed your cheeks when you’d cry. And the ones that would zip up your jacket when the wind blew chilly air from the North.
Your eyes watered at the sight of his busted knuckles. You held his right hand between your own and kissed each split. The hands that would never cause you harm.
“Let’s get home,” He whispered, touching your hair.
Stay in the car, he told you. It’s just a quick stop.
It was past 1 o’clock, and Eren still hadn’t returned from the gas station. He’d parked the pickup down the street, and you rested your head against the window. At this hour, nobody was on the small town's western roads. The stray black cat that lived in the barbershop on 4th Avenue was the only movement on the sidewalk, along with an empty soda can. You had a headache from the dim flickering street lamp above the car, so closing your eyes was the best option to keep the throbbing at bay.
Your head bumped the window softly when Eren slammed the car door closed. Eyes opening, thick with sleep, you turned to see him hastily turning the key in the ignition.
“Hey,” You mumbled groggily—when had you fallen asleep?
“Hi, sugar. Sorry, I didn’t realise it would take so long,” he pulled the car away from the curb.
You knew what Eren got up to during these quick stops at the gas station. You first noticed when he’d spent an obscene amount of money on a gift for you and again when the shared one-bedroom house you lived in had no AC for the entire month of June. Random spurts of wealth were the confirmation you needed to know he’d been breaking into the ATM at the gas station for months. It was the run-down one on the corner that nobody really cared for, but the ATM was one of the only in town. An easy target: no security cameras, nobody worked there after 10pm, and it was on the shit side of town.
Eren didn’t know you knew. Sure, he had odd jobs, but he wanted to move away from here, get into the city, and give you a good life. It was wrong, but his intentions were enough for you not to say anything about it.
He loved you in his own way.
The following morning, the familiar white and blue of the sheriff’s car sat parked outside.
“Shit,” You muttered, noticing Eren wasn’t in the bed beside you.
Chatting in the kitchen stopped you from running in there with only Eren’s t-shirt on. It confused you. Why would he laugh with the Sheriff in his home if he was in trouble?
Your mind was going a mile a minute, thinking through everything that had happened in the past week, month, year, and if the police knew about the fights, the theft, and even the drugs Eren had been selling to get you through the Winter nights with a heater.
Eren had never asked you to do anything illegal for him—he had never thought about it. He would never put you through something you didn’t want to. But, you know you’d hold the gun if he told you to—you’d do anything for him. You trusted him. You loved him.
So, you went back to your room. The TV in there was old and only had one channel, but you couldn’t handle the news then, so you turned on one of the others. Static echoed in the room, and you cried.
Tears rolled down your cheeks, but you made no sound. You drew your knees to your chest and hugged them tight. In the corner of the bedroom, sat a girl who was drained, and confused, and lost, but so, so in love.
The front door closed after there was a murmur of cheerful goodbyes, and then heavy footsteps made their way to the bedroom door.
“Sugar? You okay?”
You sniffled quietly, and nodded. “Yeah, Ren.”
The door creaked as it swung on its hinges and you lifted your head from where it rested on your knee. The room was bright and Eren could see the Sheriff’s car drive down the street out the window.
You remained in your spot, the wood floors were uncomfortable but you couldn’t move—frozen in fear of what-ifs. Eren tilted his head and slowly made his way toward you.
He said nothing when he sat next to you, trying his best to pull his knees to his chest too. The sight made you laugh.
“There she is,” Eren whispered, tipping your head up by your chin, his fingers gentle. “What’s wrong?”
You shook your head. “Nothin’, just being silly.”
“S’not silly if it’s makin’ you cry.”
Your eyes traced every pore on his nose and every line on his forehead. The black eye he doned was worse in the morning light and you wondered if the Sheriff had asked about it.
“Can’t say.”
Love was never easy between you. Voicing it was the most difficult part, because love that ran as deep as it did between you and Eren was something you didn’t have to make known.
“I know,” he mumbled, his eyes lazy as they flickered between yours. “You mean so much to me, baby, never forget that, okay?”
You wiped your nose with the back of your hand and nodded.
“Good girl,” Eren leaned down to press his mouth against yours. "We're gonna be free one day, and I'll give you everything."
And that morning, the neighbour’s hose sprayed at your bedroom window, like it did most days in the week. You weren’t silent when Eren touched you like that, when he hit that spot so deep inside you. You could scream how much you loved him. You never did.
But with your face in the sheets, there was nothing you cared more about than him. There was no telling where you ended and where he started. Eren was you, and you were Eren.
He never told you why the Sheriff was in your kitchen.
“We gotta go,” was the only thing Eren said when he returned home. It was October. The days were getting shorter, and the chill from the North was making itself known in the West.
You furrowed your eyebrows, arms elbow deep in the soapy sink. “What?”
Eren raced around the house, the floorboards creaking concerningly. You heard the hangers in the wardrobe clinking together as Eren pulled clothes off them and into what you could only guess were the numerous duffle bags that sat abandoned at the bottom of the closet until now.
You quickly dried your hands on the teatowel over your shoulder and hurried into the bedroom. You were right about the duffle bags.
“Get all the shit you wanna take and meet me at the car,” he said while zipping up the bags and throwing them aside to fill another one.
Your mouth was open in confusion, your breathing rapid. “What’s going on, Eren?”
Eren shook his head in dismissal and with the flick of his hand, you went to the bathroom to get both your toothbrush and Eren’s, your face wash and body soap—the only things you’d need if you were right about what was happening.
You were moving again. Crossing state lines where Eren couldn’t be caught for what he got up to at night.
Walking back into the bedroom, Eren was gone, and so were the bags. You rushed into the kitchen to grab your sweater, and into the living room to grab your cell phone charger, and took one last look around the house you’d called home for a year and a half. You couldn’t believe you’d lasted this long here anyway.
Quickly, you ripped a page from the notebook that sat on the round dining table and scribbled a note for your manager. He would be disappointed that his best bartender was leaving.
You folded the page and shoved it in the back pocket of your jeans. Gathering everything you’d collected, you flew out the front door after turning the lights off, and were met with the harsh cold.
Eren’s pickup was already running and you inhaled sharply through the Winter air that was already upon you.
The passenger door was already open, so you jumped in and pulled the door closed. The wheels of the pickup squealed as Eren reversed back and took off down the street.
The interstate wasn’t that far from the house, but you demanded one stop at the bar to stick your note through the mail slot.
And soon, you were flying down the freeway, headlights low and dangerous.
The windows of the pickup were down, and Eren’s hair was loose. Your hand rested amongst the locks, and his right hand caressed your thigh.
It was 2 days into the drive. You’d stopped 4 times for gas, one night in a motel, and had eaten dried meat and gas station sandwiches for meals. But nonetheless, you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
With Eren’s eyes on the road ahead and yours on his side profile, a tear dripped onto your chest. You weren’t sure if it was exhaustion or if you were truly losing your mind, but you were happy. Happy to follow him anywhere, happy to be the one person he chose to do this with, happy to be his partner for life.
Eren could feel your eyes on him and smirked. “Staring's rude.”
You laughed waterly and wiped your cheek. He heard the emotion in your voice and glanced over, expression furrowing with concern at your red eyes.
“What's wrong? You hungry?”
You laughed again and shook your head, scratching his scalp softly. “I’m just so happy.”
Eren scoffed playfully. “Baby, sorry, there's no way you’re happy with what I’ve given you so far.”
But you nodded and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. “I’m happy wherever you are. I always will be.”
His lips twitched and he turned his head to kiss you on the mouth.
And Eren knew you loved him. He was terrified, but he trusted you. He loved you. Because you’d shoot the gun if he asked you to. For him, you’d do anything. And he'd do the same for you.
