#i hate corn

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“Knox County cantaloupe is the only thing that makes leaving my house...”

Tbh it's so weird to me you live in Chicago (?) and are from Indiana. I just got back from visiting relatives in northern Indiana. But what's so bad about it? I only go there once every few years, and am only exposed to relatives, so yeah. But I did have to go to a doctor, and he explained my symptoms as, "Well, God made it that way so that..."

What’s so bad about it? Two words. Corn. Sweat. 

Indiana’s my special hell because I am severely allergic to corn pollen (and grass pollen), so much so that if I forget to take my meds, my eyes will swell shut. I also don’t handle heat or humidity well, and that’s only gotten worse (thank you so much, sertraline). Northern Indiana’s relatively pleasant- summers are hot and kind of humid, but southern Indiana’s kind of in the Midwest’s armpit- I speak of course of the Ohio River Valley. Southern Indiana’s climate is technically classified as humid subtropical because of our disgusting summers. And if you live out in a rural area (like my parents do), you’re subjected to corn sweat. The very earth itself conspires against us- an acre of corn respirates 3,000 to 4,000 gallons of water every day during growing season. 

There are 70,000 acres of corn in my county alone- a county that’s got 278,400 acres of land total, which means that slightly over 25% of the county is nothing but corn. My neighborhood is surrounded by cornfields. You want to go to Walmart? You gotta drive through corn. Our movie theatre’s next to three things things: a graveyard on one side, a river on another, and corn just beyond that. Our town’s riverwalk is totally surrounded by corn.

You can’t escape it.