#i am suffering...

....i had a mental breakdown as i worked at Mr. 4's past, i was crying because my boyfriend every night he feels so alone because i disappear to art, to do something for you all who no even care to remember me, i am nobody's favorite, i would never be at least a bit recognized, i hate people on my past had point me out as the best doing what i loved back fhen when i was a child, because my ego was feed up, now i am here thinking i should be one of the bests when i BARELY even get a FUCKING RESHARE ONE since my best friend leaved me i no thought of nothing, i thought everything was lost, i even for a few months lost the motivation for draw, barely drawing anything, till i saw Mr. Puzzles and...decided start off first with my Swap AU...got a bit of people...then came Trickster Mr. Puzzles, gosh...how much people loved him...they expected a lot, i felt for a moment that he was a salvation...then just started decaying again...and i was on a existential crisis, thinking Swap AU was so hated because of Swap Puzzl3...i created GOP!Mr. Puzzles...yet even if GOP!Mr. Puzzles isn't touched much, he got a bit more of attention on his creation time, gee even he has an AU being an AU...and then Trivia...idk why i feel he just made me fall again...idk, but since he came just i started get...being ghosted...idk if i am shadow banned...idk if i am a joke to you all, who can play with my feelings and my hopes of fit on society....but...i just want feel loved...i no have friends irl...no friends online more than my boyfriend that got a job and responsibility so he even if tries so hard, sometimes is off for so long...

i just feel so alone...i want be a fit to this community...i feel so superior...and yesterday my boyfriend said he felt so alone on nights because i take long on drawing made me just snap into pieces seeing no matter how hard i work...i would never be...enough...loved...anyone's "favorite" ...i want stop everything now...but when i always say "stop" ...i always come back doing art, foolish thinking i would be something important when i am just a lowkey artist, who is fan of various others and only that

...i want to give up...

Grian is one of Hermitcraft’s best (if not THE best) flyers and absolutely popped off during Rocket Spleef (!!) but he didn’t make it to the Top 5 leaderboard because he didn’t PVP... I hope that didn’t discourage him too much as surviving for three whole rounds of Rocket Spleef is LEGENDARY.

And of course there was Parkour Warrior... oh God. This game. Everyone’s cut off from each other to focus on their own game (which is reasonable) so there’s less teamwork involved and less hyping each other up. The hermits (esp Grian and Ren) sounded so dejected... oh God. Grain said he physically couldn’t make some of the jumps and I have to agree. Parkour is a test of agility, hand-eye coordination and knowledge of how to make certain jumps. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it. This is unlike other games such as Survival Games/Battle Box since teamwork is necessary for those two, and while it’s similar to Hole in the Wall, HITW also requires teamwork (eg. team members shouting out which direction the walls are coming from). Parkour is a solo battle with no RNG/luck involved. Even for Ace Race, if you’re stuck on one part, there could be ways around. But for parkour, if you can’t do it, you can’t do it. What Grian and Ren said at the end of Parkour Warrior was right. This game just widens the division between skilled players and non-skilled players and it’s not fun to watch or play for most people. (I know people switch to watching Dream during parkour just to be more entertained.)

Lime was legitimately doing so well (in fact, I’m pretty sure they could do well in literally any game that wasn’t parkour) but not only did Parkour screw with their coins, it also screwed with their morale. AND that hurts because False and Fruit play more of the “sensei” role while Grian and Ren keep spirits high. Obviously Lime Liches love and support each other (their encouragement during TGTTOSAWAF is an excellent example), and they did do well in Sands of Time immediately after Parkour Warrior. I think Grian’s gong and False talking about buying one really stabilised the team’s emotions and kept them going.

Let’s also talk about Build Mart. Ren was so caught up on how he fell one time and it HURTS because he’s blaming himself for the team’s “demise” or whatever bs. I mean of course no one else blames him and Lime is chill but seeing him keep on rambling about it just HURTS REN SWEETIE 😭😭 I’m immensely proud of them for placing 2nd despite the obstacles they faced (let’s be real, no one can beat Blue Black Cats at this game lol).

(Another note about Ren: he said he “didn’t win anything” when he and Grian won the leaf collecting thing on Hermitcraft, but he’d actually won MCC9 with the Blue Bats like a month ago. REN SWEETHEART PLEASE DON’T LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF. I want to give Ren a hug ;-;)