Getting Creative With My Never-Ending Milk Supply 🍼✨
One of the quirks of hyper pregnancy (as if the belly and boobs weren’t already enough of a headline) is that my body has apparently decided to double as a full-scale dairy operation. And not a modest one either—we’re talking so much milk that even cows would be sending me jealous side-eyes.
At first, I was overwhelmed. What do you do with gallons of the stuff every single day? But once I stopped stressing, I realized: maybe this is the perfect excuse to get creative.
The Experiment Phase
Freezer Queen: Forget bags of peas or emergency pizza—my freezer is a wall of neatly packed milk bags. I don’t store food anymore; I store liquid gold.
Culinary Adventures: Pancakes? Smoothies? Morning coffee? Yes, yes, and yes. I’ve officially become my own barista. (Pro tip: froths surprisingly well.)
DIY Cleopatra: Milk baths. She did it for beauty, I do it because it feels luxurious—and let’s face it, I deserve a little pampering after lugging this body around.
The Comedic Reality
Of course, nothing in hyper pregnancy land is simple.
Pouring milk one-handed while balancing my belly? A crime scene waiting to happen.
My friends joke that I should brand it as “Artisan, locally sourced, hormone-free—straight from the tap.”
I’ve seriously considered handing out punch cards: “Buy 9 lattes, get the 10th free.”
And Then There’s the Flirty Side...
Let’s just say I’ve gotten very good at making homemade ice cream. So good, in fact, that the men in my flat block have started “just happening” to knock on my door a little more often. Convenient, right? I smile, hand them a cone, and enjoy watching them melt almost as fast as the ice cream.
