#hydrasoldier

You drew your gaze where you were sitting and you were lying on a small plain bed. Your whole life you had slept on the grubby floor and this new sensation was awful. You rapidly stood up but as soon as you put your whole weight on your knees they buckled and you tumbled on the floor. But you were determined to get out of this place because you need to go back to HYDRA, the more time you’re away the more pain they’ll inflict on you, the more they’ll train you until you don’t have enough energy to even breathe. You need to go back, at any cost.

 You slowly stood up again and ran towards the mirror and banged your fists on it, so harshly that blood started to draw. You kept on banging until you couldn’t feel your arms anymore so you stepped backwards until your back met the wall. You slowly slid down it until you sat down, bringing your knees to your chest, trying to catch your breath. You weren’t even tired but the more time you spent in this damn room the more your brain thought about all the possible ways you were gonna be punished. You were gonna kill every single person without thinking twice about it if it meant to go back home

 You felt as if your lungs had stopped working and breathing was becoming really difficult. You rocked yourself while trying uselessly to even out your small, choked breathes. Your mind was racing and suddenly, irritated by your whole situation you reached out your hand and slowly raised it, telepathically, bringing your bed with it. You made your bed float through the air, slightly tilting your head with a cold stare until you swiftly moved your hand towards the double sided mirror. 

The bed crashed into the mirror, making the whole room vibrate. You were sure that the glass was not made to be broken but with your super hearing you heard a slight crack. That was enough to make you stand up and accumulate more power. Your (e/c) started to turn purple and red sparks started to escape your hands. You swiftly lifted the bed and started to slam it against the mirror. After a few powerful strikes the glass shattered and what was on the other side kinda shocked you. 

You inhaled deeply and cracked your neck, a small smirk formed on your face as you took a step towards your new exit. On the other side there was a room full of computers and strange looking machines that made your shiver. You looked around thoroughly but the room was completely empty, there was no sign of any threat. Just as you were starting to let your guard down a door flung open. You froze and waited for someone to come in. Staring deeply into the door a man appeared. He was a tall, bald man with a black eye patch on his left eye. He slowly walked towards you, raising his hands to show he didn’t have weapons but you obviously saw through that after seeing a pocket knife he had strapped on his knife. You still hadn’t moved and were looking very carefully at his every move. “ Listen Y/N I’m Nick Fury and I know you must be feeling scared “ he stated while you scoffed at his comment, YOU scared? PLEASE-. “ Or you might be feeling uncomfortable because you feel like you need to get back to HYDRA” he continued as you looked at him with a confused look. “Listen I just want to help you,” he said, offering his hand out to you. You looked at him “ That's the same damn thing your friend told me and look at me now.” you murmured. “ Listen I don’t wanna fight because you are not my mission but if you are gonna stop me just know that nothing can stop me from going home”. You growled. You were about to leave when Steve walked in “I get it, I really do but listen”. You hadn’t stopped walking, you were tired of listening to these dumb people.” I knew you mom” he continued. You stopped dead in your tracks: “Yea, she was a lovely lady, extremely smart” he went on. “And I know for a fact that she trusted me, we were buddies, so please trust me. Just once. Please” he sounded so desperate. “You think I should trust you?Again? What, so you’re doing all this for what? Trying to help me? trying to help me not go back to what you think is wrong? Dude I don’t think you understand.” You answered in a low growl. Suddenly you felt a sharp pain in your skull, but it wasn’t external; it was as if your cells were reprogramming. You felt as if someone was crushing your skull while dividing your brain into their smallest atoms. You knew this feeling too well. It was HYDRA turning you into their 

soldier. You were turning back to The Shadow. 

You breathed in deeply and opened your eyes though this time your expression was cold. Your mission was to kill everyone here. Every single person.

You stared at the floor for a couple of seconds before lifting your gaze towards Steve “ You did this?” he questioned not really understanding why you were staring at him. A smirk forming on your lips once again as you fisted Nick Fury's neck knocking him out completely. You grabbed a pocket knife and threw it with precision towards Steve. It hit his shoulder, just in the right angle to injure his muscle perfectly. You slowly got up and walked towards Steve who had fallen to the ground and was trying desperately to grab his shield even though it had slided away from him. Your eyes were emotionless as you telepathically choked Nick fury while pushing the knife from Steve’s shoulder up, towards his neck as slowly as possible. Everything was perfect, no time to lose. You were finally gonna go home. Out of the blue You heard a pair of boots run across the corridor towards you. You glanced at the door and there HE was. THAT muther fucker. You stood up, still moving the blade telepathically towards Steve’s neck while he squirmed helplessly. A woman came running in after the tall dude with red hair and a jet black suit. She raised her hand towards you, aiming to hit you with an electric shocking device, as if that was going to make a difference after all the electricity that had flown through your body. You scoffed at her action and stopped choking Nick Fury (he was about to die, just to say), you looked deep into her eyes and then turned your gaze towards the man you kept trying to kill, every time failing miserably. But this time his expression was different. You could read his emotions easily, which was impossible a few months ago and his eyes had a different look to them, not easily noticeable but if you paid enough attention to someone, like the highly trained assassin you are, it was easily detectable. After a few seconds of staring deep into his soul, his expression changed, now he was surely worried. “Natasha freeze” He shouted at the red head. “Barnes she is gonna kill us, what the fuck is wrong with you?” she murmured back to him, still keeping her wrist high. ”She’s under their control. She.. she doesn’t understand”. he shouted quickly back at her. “ Just let me deal with this” he continued quickly as you were about to attack Natasha. You understood completely what they were saying but you weren’t reacting in any way. You lunged towards Natasha and she tried to dodge your attack but she was way too slow for your quickness. You twisted her arm and pulled her on the floor, pulling out the knife that was in Steve’s collarbone, blood gushing out as you brought it to her main artery. You were about to stab her neck when the all in black dude said in a clam voice “Soldat. Stop.” you recognized that voice. The Shadow recognized that voice and froze. “I’ve heard a great deal about you. We even met but I don’t think you remember now, do you?”. You didn’t dare look him in the eyes. You never could  make eye contact with your handler at HYDRA so you kept eye contact with the floor. “Now stand up.” he said clearly. You listened and stood up from  Natasha and stood by her side. “Barnes how the fuck did you do that?”. You finally looked up at him, trying desperately to be able to see his next moves before he hurt you. He walked towards you and said in a steady voice. “Now follow me (Y/N), I know you’re in there.”. You nodded, following his orders as he walked out of the room and you followed.

 In the corner of your eye you could see Natasha run to Steve but you couldn’t disobey this man, even though you had no idea who he was, you were fully aware of what he was capable of.

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omg I’m really so sorry it took so long but school has been killing me. I know this is being very slow but I promise once we’re in the compound it will be so much better. I really hope you like it and if you wanna be tagged or you have any request on any sort just send it!

elle.

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A bridge lowers itself towards the ground and you climb on top of it. The man walked in front of you and sat down on one of the seats, you just stood there waiting for further instructions, staring blankly at the floor and staying as still as possible. The rest of the team climbed on the jet, well Natasha and Steve. The jet turned on and started flying. The ride was awkward but you weren’t paying attention to that because you started feeling dizzy but you forced yourself to stand still. Your brain was reprogramming again and The Shadow was losing its constant fight against y/n y/l/n, just temporarily though. You closed your eyes and sighed deeply, trying to numb the pain. All eyes were on you and you quickly opened your eyes as Y/n. You took a shaky breath and looked around, the man was no longer sitting in his seat but was standing alert, not sure what was happening to you. You cracked your neck and forced yourself to speak, say anything, just anything that will make them understand that it's you and not The Shadow. You said, with a low and broken voice, “It left:”. Your voice cracked but you saw the man you had been controlled by letting his guard down, understanding what you meant. “Steve, it's her. It's not The Shadow anymore”. they both lowered the weapons they had raised and sat back down. You didn’t take your eyes off them as they kept eye contact with you. “This is James, I’m Natasha and this blonde guy, this is Steve” the lady called Natasha said with a calm tone. You gave them a cold stare, not knowing what to say. After a few minutes of staring at each other, you let out a shaky breath and sat on the floor quietly, resting your head on the wall. You were thinking about everything that had just happened and about where they were taking you. Your breaths became shorter and quieter as your heartbeat quickened. You were starting to overthink again and now was not the time to show total strangers your weaknesses. “Where are you bringing me?” You questioned with a low tone, trying to mask how panicked you were. “ Don’t worry, you’re safe now,” James said sitting back down in his seat. “They can’t get to you.” he went on. You let out a shaky sigh and wondered what was going to happen.

After half an hour the jet landed and they all exited the jet, you followed. Natasha was staring at your every move very closely but what she didn’t know was that you were looking very carefully at all of their moves, contemporarily. All of the slightest details were being shoved in your brain, hopefully, they would be useful, you never know what might happen.

You entered a massive compound and walked towards what looked like a meeting room. You could see people were inside the room from a distance, probably waiting for you. Steve opened the door and you walked in, still confused as hell about the whole situation. You made eye contact with every single person in the room. That was the first thing HYDRA taught you: make your targets uneasy, look at them straight in the eyes, without showing emotion but understanding theirs in a heartbeat.

“Make them feel what you want them to feel. Scared or uneasy.” Your handler used to say. He used to question you every day and after days of beating because you showed hesitation you knew by heart every answer to his questions. After years of training, you could make anyone feel troubled and anxious with just one look. Your handler made you train on real people when you were just 5 years old but you didn’t think any of it because you thought it was normal.

You snapped out of your daze when a man you knew too well started talking. “Well, she wants us all dead. Why the fuck is she here?”. You looked up at him but he was staring at Steve. “I don’t know ask Bucky” Steve shrugged. “Listen I know this sounds bad and she is a threat to all of us but we can fix her and trust me we need her on the team,” James said in a firm tone. “If you let me go I’ll gladly be on my way. I can go home and I won’t give you much trouble”. Everyone looks at you with a shocked expression. “How the fuck does she know English? I thought she knew Russian and Spanish, not English. That’s why I thought she was in here because she couldn’t understand what we were going to say. And if I may ask what’s so special about her? I mean she fights pretty well but that’s pretty much it right?” Anthony Stark says anxiously while you scoff at his question. “Stark, She’s HYDRA’s number 1 asset. Hell, she’s better than THE winter soldier. She knows more than 20 languages and aces more abilities than you can think of. God, she might even be able to bring a whole country down on her own because of how she was trained. I would not underestimate her, trust me.”. You smirk at his words keeping eye contact with Steve making him unbelievably uncomfortable. James notices quickly my actions and speaks up. “Nobody look at her!” but everyone’s attention is turned to me. 

You can feel your heartbeat speed up because of all the unwanted attention so you break eye contact with Steve. “Why Barnes? I mean sure she’s malnourished and hurt but are you sure she’s the one?” a guy with a bow in his hand questioned. As soon as the attention went back to him and James I let out a few shaky breaths, determined not to show them my weaknesses. “Hell yeah, I’m sure she’s the best hitman there is. She NEVER failed a mission. EVER.” you gulped hard not sure where this conversation was going.” I don’t know man, I still don’t trust her.” Anthony Stark said. “ okay listen as much as I agree with you I think Buckys right. C’mon man I mean look at her she might be the world’s best assassin but HYDRA’s all she’s ever known” Steve said with a slightly hesitant tone. “I think she needs help” A woman with long dark brown hair mumbled.

 Your head shot up to see who had made that last comment, as soon as you made eye contact with her you got into her head, reading her thoughts. You were desperately trying to find any of her weaknesses and to your luck you found plenty. “Stop.” She said clearly in your mind. “We really want to help you.” You were still searching through her mind while she was talking to you through your mind. “We will help you if you aren’t a threat, do you have any clue to who we are?” you scoffed out loud while everyone else in the room was arguing about what they were going to do to you. “Have you got any idea as to who I am?” you asked her through her mind. She shook her head as you came back to the world. (ya know cuz like you zone out when you read minds Idk if it makes sense).

“Listen, we helped bucky, Steve knew her.” the brunette said. ”Nah, I only knew her mother” Steve corrected her. “whatever, we gotta help her too, You have no idea what she’s gone through.” she goes on. “Ok fine whatever we got space. Who wants to help her?”. Stark questioned. “Nah it’s fine I don’t need help, and I don’t need to stay here. Now I’ll be on my way:” you said standing up from the chair you had been sitting in. “Hold up, you need help whether you like it or not,” James said with a calm tone. You completely ignored him and walked out of the room. Steve grabbed your arm right before you could walk out but with your fast reflexes, you twisted his harm and pushed it against him, making him fall on the ground.

You walked out of the compound but before you could start running towards the nearest airport (cuz like it’s easy for you cuz you have super speed and all that jazz) you blacked out completely. Your knees buckled and you fell on the hard ground, unconscious.

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You walked into an elevator and you stood in the corner, not wanting to be too close to James, just in case. “Agent Barnes, who is this other human form?” a female robotic voice boomed out of nowhere. In a blink of an eye you were already in a defensive position, with your fists raised to your chest, ready to attack anyone who came too close. You glanced around the tight space while James stared at you, waiting for you to calm down. “Don’t worry Fri, she’s a friend. She’s part of us now.” he spoke out. You looked at him with a very confused expression on your face. “ Listen I know you said you were all messed up here but I didn’t really think you’d talk to the walls. WHO APPARENTLY SPEAKS TOO!” you told him sincerely. He chuckled quietly and tapped the wall with his finger. “This is FRIDAY “ he answered calmly as if that answered my question completely. “ And what is a, um, FRIDAY?” You questioned, genuinely curious. “You should really ask Stark cuz I mean I know the basic stuff like its an AI but I really don’t know what AI stands for and this really doesn’t bother me cuz I don’t have to be incharge of it ya know?” he mumbled quickly, trying to answer my question, but trying not to confuse me too much. “Know what? You can ask her later. She’ll be more than happy to answer any type of question.” You nodded with a smirk on your face, amazed by how hard he was trying to not make you feel dumb for not knowing.

You closed your eyes, the name he said  triggering something in your mind. You were determined to not show him your weaknesses so you pushed that annoying thought to the back of your head and cracked your neck. James looked at you with a worried expression, noticing something in your clicking. Just as he was about to say something the metal doors finally slid open and you walked out of the small space. He quickly followed and got back to leading the way.

He reached the end of the corridor and turned to his right. “Oka, so this is my room.” he said pointing to a black door with a silver door knob. “And this is your room.” he said, turning to your left, pointing to a black door opposite his. “Just in case you need anything, don’t hesitate to come to me.” he spoke out before smiling at you. “Thank you James:” you answered back to him. “Call me Bucky:” he said with a smirk while walking into his room and closing his door, leaving you alone in the corridor, your room waiting to be explored.

 You breathed in deeply before slowly twisting the door knob, the door opening smoothly. You stepped inside and the lights automatically turned on, showing a neatly made king-sized bed, a big white marble bathroom in one end of the room and a very long stained glass window showing the astonishing view of the black sky, painted with stars. The big city surrounding the compound, filled with small lights coming from different lampposts. You were mesmerized by the view when you noticed that the windows led to a small balcony.

You walked towards the window and slid the window open silently. You stepped on the smooth concrete floor, the cold air of the night hitting your warm face sending shivers down your spine. You breathed in the fresh air, your lungs finally breathing a full deep breath of fresh air for the very first time. You slowly lowered yourself on the concrete floor  and brought your knees to your chest. The light breeze moving your hair out of your face made you feel at peace: finally your inner war with yourself paused for a few minutes, nothing bothering you, your mind completely blank. You matched your breathing pace with the wind's flow and time became uncountable, endless. You felt free.

After a few hours you left the apartment to explore the room again. Once you stepped into the room the same robotic voice spoke out calmly. “Hello! I’m FRIDAY. Such a pleasure to finally meet you. Again:” You looked around yourself, fists raised again. “ Again?” you questioned . “ That information is classified.” She answered back coldly. After a few minutes of silence she spoke up again,” So what is your name?” you cleared your throat, not used to this much talking in one day: “ Um I’m Y/n, I guess. Y/n Y/l/n” you replied unsure if you should tell her your real name. “Y/n Y/l/n. The shadow. Belongs to HYDRA. Abilities. manipulating minds. Is that right” she asked innocently. “Yeah that's me.” you mumbled.

The AI kept talking, something about welcoming you and all the stuff she could do but you were busy trying to restrain your mind from wandering too much. Flashbacks of rough training sessions and missions flooded your brain. 

You stumbled on the floor, painting heavily, trying to stop your emotions from getting the better of you. You crawled on the floor, frantically trying to stop your mind from torturing you further. You sat down on the floor from your crawling position and felt tears stream down your face.

You forced yourself to breathe and decided to take your usual solution to your breakdowns : turning off your emotions.

 It would usually last for a few hours before the barrier would break and your emotions would gain control again. After years of being emotionally abused you learned how to control your emotions and when needed, you could turn them off completely.

You exhaled slowly before standing up again, your mind blank. You looked out your room, studying every inch of it. You then spotted a small corner in the wide room, it was the one farthest from the door. It was just perfect. 

You had spent your whole life living in dirty and unhygienic rooms. No bed, no windows, no carpets, no nothing. So you got used to sleeping on the floor,on your own and in the dark. Beds were far too squishy rather than the hard, cold floor. Your body completely rejected them. You sat down, leaning on the wall and burying your head in your legs. You inhaled sharply and closed your eyes.

 You hadn’t slept in a week and the tiredness had started to come out. You hated sleeping but you forced yourself to rest, even if that meant living in literal hell. Even if it would last for a few hours, in your nightmares time felt endless. You slowly drifted into an uneasy sleep, hoping your body would recharge soon. 

**************************** Hi I’m really sorry if the story is so slow. I gonna keep writing though, maybe make shorter chapters like this but more frequently. Idk tell me what you think. Oh and I have some very important tests this month so if the story gets a bit boring or um anything please excuse me.