#hurt!barnaby

That depends on 1) why they’re trying to feed each other, 2) who is doing the feeding, and 3) how much of a little shit the person eating is going to be (which, depending on the OTP, will vary between “gazing adoringly at the person feeding them” to “95% chance of getting stabbed with a spoon.”)

Let’s take a look at a couple of different options, shall we?

Option 1: Feeding each other because it’s “romantic”

Stiles and Derek: Definite disaster. This is because Derek’s version of “feeding each other” would involve him bringing small (or large) woodland creatures to Stiles in an effort to show he can provide, and Stiles would make him write “bunnies/squirrels/deer are friends, not food” on a piece of paper 100 times.

Conversely, Stiles would try to feed Derek spaghetti at a restaurant to show up some other couple he had a grudge with (IDK, Lydia and Cora are nearby and being sappy, and Stiles and Lydia have been arguing about who has the more romantic relationship) and end up either dropping it on Derek’s pristine white shirt or somehow flinging it across the room to hit a waiter in the face. (Lydia’s “I win, bitch” face is worse than getting kicked out of the restaurant.)

Shiro and Keith: Moderate disaster, but that’s because Shiro would drop whatever food he was trying to feed Keith repeatedly because he keeps getting distracted and nervous by how pretty Keith’s eyes are. Keith doesn’t even notice because he’s too busy internally hyperventilating about how close Shiro is to him and how handsome he is. Matt is drinking straight whiskey because he literally cannot take one more minute of how bad they are at this, Pidge and Hunk are filming it for posterity and YouTube views, and Lance isn’t even paying attention because he’s too busy trying to talk Allura into trying ice cream.

Barnaby and Kotetsu: Surprisingly mild disaster, considering who we’re talking about, but that’s only because they won’t stop arguing about who’s feeding who long enough to actually, you know, eat. The worst thing that happens is that Kotetsu drops a piece of chocolate cake into Barnaby’s after-dinner coffee when Barnaby refuses to open his mouth for it. (Agnes, who suggested this in the first place and is filming it for publicity reasons—you cannot tell me she wouldn’t jump all over the chance to use their relationship to drive ratings—is the one who is thirty seconds away from stabbing both of them with a spoon.)

Option 2: One has to feed the other because an injury/issue prevents them from using their arms

Stiles and Derek: No matter how badly he was hurt, Stiles would still insist on trying to feed himself, even if it means he has to faceplant right into whatever he’s trying to eat. Derek spends about 10 seconds watching him try to eat a sandwich this way (and sneaking at least one picture of how ridiculous he looks) before he’d grab the sandwich out of Stiles’s lap and hold it up so he can eat it properly. Stiles scowls and continues to insist he can do it himself until Derek shoves the sandwich into his mouth and orders him to take a damn bite. Stiles does eat, then, but mutinously.

Of course, then he realizes two things: 1) how much easier it is to eat when he isn’t trying to do it himself, and 2) how fun it is to make Derek feed him (because Derek looks so serious about it) and so Stiles starts asking Derek to feed him everything while he’s recovering. Soup. Sandwiches. Pancakes. Popsicles. And Derek does, because he actually cares about Stiles and wants him to get better, and no, Boyd, it doesn’t mean anything that he won’t let anyone else do it. (Boyd looks at him judgmentally and says “uh-huh” in the voice that says he knows Derek’s going to be eating his words at some point in the future.)

It’s even odds about whether Stiles is too much of a little shit about it and Derek deliberately spills an entire bowl of ice cream down his shirt. (Before feeling bad about it and helping Stiles change his clothes. Stiles is less of a little shit about Derek helping him after that, though.)

Shiro and Keith: So Shiro’s getting his arm fixed, which means he’s down one for his lunch date with Keith. He can eat just fine with one hand no matter what they’re eating, but when Keith offers to help…well. Shiro’s not going to say no. So he lets Keith feed him his macaroni and cheese and spends more time admiring how quietly determined Keith is about the entire process than he does actually eating.

Keith is also super concerned about making sure that he doesn’t drip cheese anywhere on Shiro’s uniform, so he’s outstandingly cautious and Shiro is so utterly smitten about the whole thing.

It’s disgusting to watch from an outside perspective. Other people at the Garrison are suddenly VERY interested in their phones and tablets, so that they don’t have to watch their commanding officer go moon-eyed over his boyfriend feeding him mac and cheese. And if Pidge is there for her lunch break, she makes unsubtle gagging noises every time Keith lifts a bite.

Barnaby and Kotetsu: Okay so not only is Barnaby unable to use his arms, but as he’s recovering, he also has to take this godawful medication that tastes terrible. After a pill gets stuck in his throat the second time, he straight-up refuses to take it again. So Kotetsu (who is taking care of him while he recovers, obviously) ends up putting it into different foods to mask the taste so Barnaby will take his goddamn medication when he is supposed to. This method is...not terrifically successful. Usually, an entire spoonful of food ends up halfway across the living room or on Kotetsu’s shirt. (Kotetsu will admit, putting the medicine in a spoonful of soup was not his brightest moment.)

It takes the better part of a week before he figures out that cherry jello is the only thing that 1) masks the taste and 2) Bunny will actually eat. Kotetsu stocks half his fridge with the jello and suddenly medication time is much less fraught.