#humily

As we prepare to learn what it means to listen for the voice of God this weekend at the NAPC Young Adult retreat, I was thinking of how prideful it can seem to say "God spoke to me." This pride can pave the way for misusing "God spoke to me" to do what I want rather than what God's will actually is (e.g. I once heard of a college student who asked a coed to be his girlfriend because "God told him to." She asked him why God hadn't bothered to tell her too. Wisely, she turned him down.). This is why humility is a pre-condition to truly hearing God's call. The spiritual formation writer Dallas Willard calls it the "grace of humility." He writes, "Our being humble allows God to speak to us because he knows we will not misuse his word. Lack of humility creates problems." This is a critical point for me to always try to remember in my spiritual journey. Thanks to all of you who demonstrate the winsomeness and humility of the Christian life!

Shit. 

Does anyone else out there look around and think, between marriage and parenting, parenting might actually be the easy part? I mean, think about it - how many many couples do you know that are still in love after 20 or 30 years in one marriage? One couple? Two?? But how many people are still in love with their kids? Easier to count how many aren't, cuz they're the weirdos! It's natural to adore your children! Most people will give their last ounce of life to make sure their child lives well, but when it comes to their marriage...meh. (I know, I know, it's way more complicated than that. But my point is that complex problems are often easy to achieve! Like water damage.) So that's a bit frightening. It must be easy to get to that place, since eeeeverybody's doin it! I keep asking myself, how can we diverge from that path? How do we get from "young marrieds" to "old and still in love?" Oh yeah - I already know this one! (1) Communicate. (2) Be intentional. Haha! But seriously, folks. Communication is so easily hijacked by pride and hurt feelings and stubbornness and discomfort; intentionality gets delayed by children and fatigue and television...and pride and hurt feelings and stubbornness and discomfort. So the answer can't be intentional communication, can it? It's gotta be something bigger than that. Something deeper, more foundational. How about: (1) Humility (2) Priority Humility to apologize sincerely, even when my offense was innocently well-intended. Humility to try new ways of airing grievances, even though it feels awkward and forced. Humility to understand that every fault I see in my spouse is one I also carry in myself. Priority means I make sure my marriage is alive and healthy. It means being proactive. It means being bound and determined. It means I have some work to do, cuz this world ain't a friendly place for marriages. So...is that it?