#humanityaboveall

Advice for Younger Me and Black Girls Everywhere:

Your name is quite literally “beautiful”. Make them say it right, every single time. Do not allow them to butcher it and walk away, nor laugh at it for sounding “too weird”.

Your hue is the product of all of your ancestors, of which you should be proud. They were not slaves; they were *enslaved*. Educate others, if need be, on the difference. 

Your history is rich and not merely made up of cotton plantations and a master’s last name. You come from a beautiful and naturally-rich continent that, no matter what anyone says, contains your roots. Embrace them.

Your aptitude is not lesser than anyone else’s. You have an inner brilliance, and it’s up to you to recognize it. Do not look to others to validate your potential or acumen. Do not feel obligated to appear twice as smart and work twice as hard unless that’s what you want for yourself.

Your hair does not need to be straightened or otherwise “tamed” unless that’s what you want. It is good hair because it is your hair, long or short, thick or thin. How you wear it is your business and only your business. And if one day, there is no more of it, you are no less than who you were when you had it.

Your heart is pure and full of kindness. Share that kindness with others, but don’t let others mistake it for weakness. Compassion and empathy are good; don’t let anyone convince you that having them makes you a fool. And you get to choose who you share them with. Those who mistreat you need not apply.

As you grow, you will see so much. Some of it will make you happy; a lot of it might make you sad. And that’s okay. You get to feel your feelings. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have a right to be upset or angry. Do not unleash your ire without precision, but do not hold it in. Because depression is anger turned inward, and there’s not a soul on this earth who deserves such pain, especially not you.

You will be tested time and time again. But with every test will come new knowledge, about the world, about yourself. And that kind of knowledge is not bound to one specific place or genre. Keep your horizons broad and don’t feel like you owe it to anybody to shrink yourself down.

Life will be hard a lot of the time, and sometimes you will wonder what the point of all of it is. You will tire and maybe feel like you’ve had enough. You are not alone. And maybe knowing that doesn’t take away the strife, but it does help to keep it manageable. And you will always manage, even when you are absolutely sure you cannot. Even the worst of experiences don’t last forever. And when they’re over, you will be proud you made it through.

Your job is to take care of yourself before you take care of anyone else. Know that this has nothing to do with being selfish and everything to do with protecting and nourishing your soul. You can’t give anybody else anything that you’ve not allowed for yourself.

Do me a favor.  The next time someone tries to tell you that racism is a problem that is relegated to only certain areas of the country and that they’re mostly below the Mason-Dixon Line, point them in the direction of this post.  You would think a largely Democrat state like New Jersey would be chock-full of progressive people with progressive ideas and would patently reject anything that looks like even covert racism.  But if you think that, you would be wrong.  I spent most of my life in Jersey, and any black person who has spent any degree of time living in the state can tell you that racism is alive and well there.  I think there’s an incorrect notion, particularly among the white population, that any instances of bigotry and oppression are few and far between.  And those people are living in a bubble of denial, and they need to branch out.  Ask any black person in Jersey, and they can quickly tell you which cities and towns black people would be crazy to move to because it is so clear that we are not wanted there.  They can tell you which towns not to drive through, because the police will be quick to pull you over when you have literally done nothing anybody else on the road isn’t doing as they zoom past you while you’re stopped.  And they can tell you that a middle-class black neighborhood in any city or town will always have houses which are valued lower than a comparable white neighborhood in the same city or town.  To put it quite simply, it’s really bad, and what’s worse is that white people don’t want to talk about it.  What’s more, they get angry if you try to bring it up.  And if you need proof of that, check out almost any article on NJ.com, and you will see the vitriol that spews so freely from people who are so unashamed that they post comments under their REAL NAMES.  Any article is an opportunity to bash black people, and those comments are often rewarded with a string of likes and agreeing sentiments.  It’s disgusting and the reason why I stopped going to the site even before I moved out of the state.  But for the sake of the edification for those who might have been unaware, take a look at just a few of the racist comments that were posted in response to an article detailing the impact of covid-19 in NJ’s largest city.   And tell me if you notice a theme. (Hint: You should notice a theme.)

And upon seeing this, I began to get an eerie sense of déjà vu, like “Where have I heard these sentiments before??  They sound so familiar!”  And then it totally hit me.  Click on the link below to check out a short clip taken from the documentary series Eyes On The Prize which chronicles the Civil Rights Movement.  Keep in mind that the news footage shown is from 1955.

Clip from Awakenings 1954-1956

Everyone who keeps hurling insults at “the media” for dividing us when it comes to issues of race, this is what you sound like.  Ver-friggin-batim.  Y’all act like oppression against black folks is only something one can witness “in the media”.  And you know what that tells me?  It tells me that many of you don’t live near black people, don’t befriend black people, and your kids don’t have any black friends, either which, incidentally, are all symptoms of these issues of race that we are trying to address.  But by all means, keep yelling nonsensically at “the media” for racial division.  Cuz that’s totally gonna help.  And then you can retreat back to your white bubble of a neighborhood, of which you’ve probably not once stopped to think about why no black people live there.  I’ll give you a hint: It’s not because none of us can afford it.