#humanconciousness

I’ve been contemplating these odd lulls in my mood that seem out of place but exacerbated by the idea that I’m going to learn to be an entrepreneur. What I have been feeling this past week were different experiences that seem to show promise that the human consciousness will take flight. I saw the little red plane in a dream that symbolized this but it still needs help, the land seemed too bumpy and it flew off a cliff. When it landed on the rocks below, it kept bouncing along. I feel like I’m being told that my efforts are strong, but I would need to learn more about how my purpose would help the world.

I’ve been antagonized before, but the attacks seem paltry, though the draining effect that they have on my energy still is difficult to shake off. Not unless I know who it is. I remember the last time I was attacked hardcore was when I saw odd electrical strings, of yellow. Like a portal. From it came a face that resembled the puppet on the saw movies, but his name was not jigsaw. It was something else entirely, and movie makers mix the names of entities all the time. No wonder people get attacked, they don’t know who they are interacting with and they think it is imagination. Yet, imagined beings do exist and come into creation often.

I feel  little deflated because of the pressure I have to start a business and I want to make sure that I have a good business plan and win approval for the SEAP. Self-Employment Assistance Program. I do know how it would be used, but I need to know what would drive the ball out of the park for the people that will view my application. Humans make a ton of nonsensical rules. They have all sorts of unnecessary bureaucracy and they made a mess of things. Though there is a story to explain that, it’s not my wisdom to do so.

I’m feeling like I do have a big burden, but should I feel that way? It feels like I’m going to need to learn how to use the manual I got. I have to learn to do what I need to do without fear. Just to take risks. Being an entrepreneur is a big risk but the creator is with me to show me how it works by bringing me the situations and opportunities I need to learn from. It feels overwhelming because I cannot seem to recall a lifetime when I had a successful business, and with the way rules and regulations are these days, it’s sort of a hairy mess. I guess I am mostly overwhelmed by this sort of burden. I feel like I’m the only one with this purpose of mine and it’s going to require me to be strong and full of courage.

I do get mousy from time to time, mostly when I feel vulnerable and in a moment of feeling deflated. I’m learning to grow in confidence, though the human conscious is huge. It is unwieldy and full of tendencies toward excess on both sides of duality. No balance. Hence that little red plan tries to fly but it cannot. I’m just glad there is a possibility that it could fly. I have the notion that it requires the movement away from this A.I. stuff and invasive technologies. Though I don’t want to be too drastic in the way I manifest, because that would not bode well if things just went and blew up. Not literally, but you get the gist of it. It’s a big responsibility and I myself, am still learning to balance what I have in my life. The creator continues to support me in knowing that I’ve been unable to do this mission for a long, long time. So I’m getting training in the way that works for the level I am at. I get insecure because of my past life experiences, they weren’t pleasant and there were a lot of mistakes. Each lifetime was another life unfulfilled. My purpose kept being derailed.