“Walls”

My insecure boy.

I experienced something I have never felt before. After what I thought was the healthiest relationship of my life, my boyfriend broke up with me. Just like that all communication ceased and I was left alone desperately yearning for him. I cried, I needed friends, attention from other guys. I was begging to him crying that I wanted him back. Five days had past and I was no better. Still hoping for him to come home, hug me and tell me everything will be okay. 

That is when I realized. Maybe I will give myself a hug because I really need one and theres no one here. And so I did. Crying in front of the mirror I wrapped my arms around myself and said "I love you. Everything will be okay". And I cried even harder. I have never nurtured my inner me. All the inner me wanted was love not from anyone in the world but myself. My inner me loves me for who I am and casts no judgement. While I was yearning for love, validation and approval from others my inner me was yearning for love from myself. In that moment I realized that I did not need a guy to feel loved. I am love. I just needed myself.