#htyth

k so in this dream things was going alright and whatever i think there was this person i was with idk i think we were married or whatever they were a dumbass tho and shit was goin alright but then

???i guess ?? i found out i was pregnant ??? like someone told me ?? that i was 3 months in

and then i remember lookin down at my tum and puttin my hand on it and bein like ‘yup dats a babby’ and i think at first i was like ‘k.’ but then i remember that this feeling of absolute 

DESPAIR 

overwhelmed me and i remember bawling and cryin that ‘i cant do this, i dont wanna do this’ i thought abt the pain, what could happen to my body after havin kids (not weight gain but the fact that ur uterus falls out of fuckin place???) and the responsibility of having to care for a child that isnt my cousin or sibling overwhelmed me and i remember ppl tryn to calm me down but i said ‘can i cancel this?? can i cancel this ???’ as if pregnancy is a fucking magazine subscription and i remember thinking ‘oh no its too late to go to a abortion clinic isnt it ???’ and then i woke up and i woke up feelin scared and still thinking i was pregnant until my alarm buzzed and jerked me back to reality