Paisley rounded up as many plastic tea cups and saucers in both of her arms as she could. The exuberant five year-old had been adamant on creating a night to remember for the both of us. It was her first time being back home since spending the weekend at Harry’s new flat. The process of the divorce drained her almost as much as it began to wear on me.
“Okay, mommy. It’s finished!” She said, pretending to pour the last of the tea from the kettle. “Now all we have to do is get dressed up. Look what daddy brought me.”
Paisley ran over to her overnight backpack. Then she knelt down to rummage through the mix of clean and dirty clothes to pull out a fluffy ball gown, which resembled Belle’s attire from ‘Beauty and The Beast’. It was her favorite Disney princess of all because she was so smart and loved storytime just as much as she did.
“Oh my.” I gasped and threw my hands to both my cheeks. “That is beautiful, Ms. Paisley. Let’s get it put on you.”
I helped fit the gown over her clothes and gazed at her fondly. “Paisley, you look gorgeous! You are literally going to be the belle of the ball!”
She giggled and twirled around for me. “Do I look like a princess, mommy?”
“The prettiest princess of them all.”
My daughter tilted her head and looked at me in confusion. “But… what are you going to wear, mommy? You cannot wear that.”
I was taken back by the sass infused in her statement, a dry laugh slipping past my lips. I supposed I couldn’t blame her from being exposed to Harry’s and my banter.
“Excuse me?” I stretched out the hem of my striped jumper and smoothed a hand over my jeans. “I think mommy looks very good in this, don’t you?”
The dimples she inherited from her father indented both of her cheeks as she gave me a small smile. “But it’s not a dress. You have to wear a dress to the ball.”
I decided to humor her and stood up. “Okay. Why don’t you help me find one, yeah?”
I took her small hand in mine and walked with her to my bedroom. A box of Harry’s belongings still stood in one corner. I made a mental note to call him about picking it up. So much was on my mind these days that I had forgotten.
Paisley struggled to open my closet, grunting fiercely and shuffling her tiny feet against the carpet with rage. “A-Almost got it, mommy.”
She was nowhere near almost. However, I leaned up against the opposite side where the actual opening to the sliding door was. “Oh, you’ve got it! I think you just need one big, gigantic push. One more time for mommy, darling.”
As she tried again, I subtly pushed the door back before she could see and gasped. “Oh my goodness! Look how strong you are!”
She gave me one of the biggest smiles I had seen on her in months. “Daddy taught me.”
My heart ached for a moment. She was so fond of Harry, so much that sometimes it made me regret ever having to make them part. It was a major change for all of us, but it would be foolish to think it hadn’t impacted Paisley the most.
While I had been stuck in my reverie, Paisley had invaded my closet and tugged on one of the transparent garment bags.
“This one, mommy! This one!”
My eyes locked on my wedding dress, and a pang of desolation coursed through me. It was no fault of Paisley’s, yet the irony of the situation was not lost on me.
I whispered, “Not that one. Let’s try another, hm? Maybe we can find a color to match your pretty yellow. Can you find a yellow dress for me?”
She frowned at me, her lips pouted and brows low over her eyes. “This one is so pretty. Please, mommy!”
Her bottom lip started to quiver, and I sighed. She did not know any better. That was not an access pass to feed into her temper tantrum though.
“You are a big girl, aren’t you? Big girls don’t cry.”
She nodded solemnly before ambling her way out of the closet and over to me. She pressed her face up against my leg as she clutched onto my belt loops. “I just wanted you to look pretty, mommy.”
I glanced back at the dress, battling my thoughts. “Okay. I’ll put it on but only for a little while.”
I suppressed the idea that this was anything more than playing dress up. Paisley deserved a little fun after all Harry and I had put her through. Even if it killed me, I could soldier through an hour or so for our little girl.
We were about an half hour into playing when I heard the door of Paisley’s bedroom creak open. I didn’t have to turn around to know who it was. Paisley made the announcement all on her own.
“Daddy!” She screamed, pushing up from her small table and jumping into his arms.
I stood up, my cheeks rosy with mortification and regret. I should have never put this stupid thing on. Harry’s eyes never left me as Paisley rambled on and on to him about how much fun we were having.
I shrugged slightly. “She threw a fancy ball for the two of us. I guess my other threads didn’t quite make the cut.”
Harry did not respond to me. Instead, he kissed Paisley’s forehead and set her down. “Why don’t yeh go grab a snack from downstairs while mommy and I talk? I brought yeh some of those apple juices and cookies yeh like.”
I started to go after her as she sprinted out of the room. “Just two cookies, Paisley! Two!”
Harry sighed. “Are yeh trying t’confuse her even more, Y/N? Yeh can’t prance around in your wedding dress and not expect her t-“
“To what?” I interrupted, “We were playing, Harry. I really don’t need a lecture from you on parenting right now. Why are you even here? It’s my week.”
I could see the flash of hurt in his eyes as he wiggled his set of keys in my face. “Wanted to give these back to yeh.”
I snatched the keys from him and ran my fingers through my hair. “Message received. You can go now.”
“Y/N… there’s something else.”
I tried to avoid eye contact with him. It physically pained me to have him standing here right now. Although I knew he would have to be around for Paisley, I truly was not up for another heart-to-heart. “What?”
“I’ve met someone, and I want your permission to introduce Paisley t’her.”
I felt my lungs collapse as I fought for a breath of air that wasn’t contaminated with envy and heartbreak.
I shakily took a seat on Paisley’s bed and peered at Harry with wide eyes. “It’s only been a few weeks since the divorce was final. When the hell did you have time to meet someone?” My stomach churned at the thought of him having an affair. It was almost too much for me to bear. I ripped my gaze from him. “You know what? I don’t want to know, and I don’t want our daughter meeting her. It’s too soon.”
“For her or for you?” He snapped.
“This has nothing to do with me. I don’t want her getting hurt. How do you explain that you’ve already moved on to a five year-old?”
Harry stared at me blankly. “The same way we explained to her that we were getting divorced.”
“How long have you known her?! It can’t be anything more than a quick fuck, Harry. Our daughter is not going to get mixed up in your mess,” I countered.
“I can’t believe I expected more from you…” He swore under his breath. “Christ, Y/N. You can play dress up all you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re not my wife anymore! You made that decision all on your own.”
He stormed out before I could say more, not that I wanted to. His words ripped the rug out from underneath me. What hurt the most was that they were all true. I decided this. I wanted him gone. And now, he was.
