#hrviolations

A few days ago, at lunch with my team at work, somehow the conversation which was composed mostly of mildly Human Resource Violation stuff shifted to the topic of out-of-the-ordinary footware that some people wear around the campus. From the patten gold leather sneakers on exec sometimes wears to another coworker who often wears high-heeled pumps color coordinated to his t-shirts. One way or the other I really don't care, I see stranger shit than that most Saturday nights and it's really no bother to me that people feel safe enough at work to express themselves in what is, ultimately, a harmless way.

Already a bit nonplussed at the direction the conversation had taken and starting to tune out I was snapped back into when one of my newer coworkers leans into the lunch table like he's about unload a major but secretish revelation.

"You know that guy's a furvert, right?" he said. "You know, a furvert. They're people that like to dress up in animal costumes and..." he trailed off hoping that our imaginations would carry us to that HRV zone he wasn't quite willing to voice himself.

No lie, I was a little stunned by this. Sort of like a missed shift when not really paying attention to the road or the car. It took a bit for my mental transmission's cogs to mesh again by which time another relatively new member of my team decided that he needed to chime in as well.

"You know they have their convention in Downtown San Jose, right? Big thing.  Bunch of 'em.  Every January," he said, also leaning in with a hushed tone as if speaking of some dark, taboo evil.

What I should have said was, "Yeah, I know everything about that convention from the top down. It's the second largest Furry convention in the world and brings in $3-4 million dollars to the San Jose economy every year. I've run it for the last two years as vice-chairman and chairman. I'm President of the Board of Directors for the charitable not-for-profit organization that backs it. I volunteer my time and knowledge running small-to-mid sized conventions with other furry and non-furry fan conventions. You're making it out to be salacious when, in fact, it is not. Worse, you're creating a hostile work environment for me by your comments about what I do outside of work as community service. Please stop now."

That's what I'd like to have said. That's what TV's SmackJackal would have said. (as in television, where characters often speak the way we wish we actually could) The real life SmackJackal is just not that eloquent off-the-cuff and so the real life SmackJackal decided to keep his damn mouth shut and while trying to noodle through whether saying anything was a good idea. Frankly, I failed. I should have said something right then and there.

The next time talk of furries and furverts pops up I'll definitely not be quite so chickenshit about it.  I won't be so flat-footed and I've got a nice speech to rip though now when it does pop up. Hindsight is a wonderful for preparing for the future.