Jackal Dumps Brain.

TrueStory: I've recorded my weight almost every morning for the last two years. (Except when I've been traveling and have forgotten to pack my travel scale.) I don't often look at the recorded data but, every so often, it's good to look back at it for trends.

One of the things that you hear about with people who've lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time is a "bounce."  They get down to a weight, then bounce back up as their bodies readjust and their eating habits change. I've heard that bounce number quoted in the 20-30% range. (As in, gaining 20-30% over their low-water mark on the bounce.)

Going back through my data, clearly I'm no exception to this, I've certainly had my bounce. I was hoping to avoid it but...nope.  On the up side, I've only bounced by 10%. I've gained weight, including fat, but my overall fat percentage has declined slightly vs. my low-water mark @ 165. I really want to blame a good portion of this on bad stress-eating habits that have been bubbling up around the edges of my life but I'll also give credence to weight research showing that a bounce is absolutely a thing that happens with almost everybody who loses a crap-ton of weight.

It's also good to see that since refocusing on nutrition, intake, and portion control I'm trending back in the correct direction. (And that its my fat percentage that's moving in the correct direction, not just total mass.)

Cars and Coffee is a weird space to visit, especially in an area like I live with a lot of very wealthy people who actually are car people or like to style themselves as a car people and a lot of people who are talented garage engineers with personal projects to show off. They become a strange nexus of car cultures and reminder that divisions run deep once you paddle past the kiddie-pool side of the Cars and Coffee pond.

To start, I’m a Built-Not-Bought car guy. I’m also a Momentum Car guy. ( i.e. Quick > Fast ) And a Classic-Car guy. And a seriously majorly dorky Modern-Hotrod/Restomod guy. I’m the kind of car guy who will take a minute to appreciate a McLaren 720S sitting like princess at a Cars and Coffee because they’re beautiful, capable cars but will spend HOURS pouring over small details of somebody’s back-yard turbo Lada Riva build because that was a labor of love.

In general, I like to think that I get why people like the things they like even if it’s not necessarily a thing that I like. I appreciate that they get excited by it even if it doesn’t turn my crank. That said, while appreciating that what they’re into makes them happy there are cliques in the pool that I can’t help but shake head at. (I’m looking at you, 5.0 Mustang Bros, Brobarus, and vinyl wrapped and stanced M3/4 Bros)

I’ve also found I’m the kind of built-not-bought car guy who generally doesn’t like talking about his own shit (a/k/a my Exocet) at a Cars and Coffee. It’s a test of endurance suffered for occasional gems, like talking to one of Scotts Valley’s finest who was interested in building his own rendition of an Exocet. When people "get it” it’s easier to relate to them and conversations are much more fluid. When somebody gets it you don’t have to explain the thing that you’ve built, you just have to describe it which is a way more interesting conversation. Trust me, at a Cars and Coffee there are a lot of people who simply don’t “get it” for whatever value “it” may hold.

It’s just a thing that is, certainly there are some values of “it” that I don’t get.

When talking to others about my car are two things that will make me to want to punch myself in the face. The first are dudes who hammer on-and-on-and-on with “why didn’t you do X, or Y, or Z” questions, challenging you [me] every time you [I] explain a decision that you [I] made with your [my] build. The second are the old dudes who have a million stories to tell, a way to relate every one of them to your [my] build, and your [my] captive ear. The former are looking for a way to get it, which is cool but gets tedious.  The the latter just don’t give a fuck anymore; they’ve got stories to pass down goddamnit. (Also, super tedious)

I’ve also found the questions that I get asked the most are the ones I hate generally hate to answer the most.

How much does it weigh?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

How much did it cost to build?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

How fast is it?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

Do you have to wear a helmet when you drive it?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

Is it street legal?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

Did you build it yourself?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

How long did it take to build?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

Is it fast?

Why didn’t you build it with an LS?

Thankfully it only lasted a few hours.

That's when I decided it was finally time for me to ask my doctor about this particular issue. (Again, I point back to being stupid about toughing shit out.)

To my doctor I described what I felt. He nodded his head and asked me what I thought it was. I told him that from what research I'd done it seemed logical that it might be gall stones to which he agreed. With that, he kicked me a referral for an ultra sound of my liver and gallbladder. The results of that scan, however, were not gall stones. Rather, small and benign gallbladder polyps that shouldn't cause any issues what-so-ever. And yet there was an issue so he offered me the option of consulting with a surgeon, which I took.

Talking with the surgeon, he saw no reason that I should be feeling any discomfort at all give my good weight, general health, and fitness level coupled with the complete lack of anything that was obviously wrong from the ultrasound and blood work taken to that point. Where I said I felt the pain radiating to and from didn't quite match where he would have expected it but didn't rule my gallbladder out as a source, mentioning that there may be other biliary dysfunctions that could be at play that wouldn't show up on the ultrasound. Still, he said the fact that I was sitting in his office at all meant that more than likely my gallbladder would be coming out. I didn't disagree with him on that point but also wasn't eager about the prospect of surgery for a nebulous diagnosis. Understanding my concern though more likely to sate his own curiosity the surgeon ordered a HIDA scan to check the function of my gallbladder.

Due to the nature of the scan (involving the use of decaying radioisotope tracers, gamma-ray imaging, and synthetic hormones to induce gallbladder function) it took a while to line the test up. It happened yesterday. I got to see progression of the test which gave me some indication as to what the official results would be, but I'm a layman in the realm of medical diagnostics. Today I have the official results that confirm what I thought I saw happening on the display screen of the imaging machine: my gallbladder is not just broken, it's super fucking broken.

The medical term for what's going on with me is biliary dyskinesia. Boiled down, it basically means that bile from my gallbladder is unable to [easily] find its way into my digestive tract. (for reasons) This can cause both chronic discomfort and even pain, especially if my gallbladder is squeezed hard to help handle a particularly fatty portion of food. To put this into perspective, according to the surgeon, 35% bile ejection fraction is lower limit of normal. My measured ejection fraction was 1%. Or less. They round up.

I've got another consultation with the surgeon to do (probably by phone) but it's pretty certain at this point that my gallbladder is getting cut out.

On the up side of things, my diet in general is pretty low-fat and gallbladder friendly so I've not been as badly affected by this issue in the past couple of years as I could have been. Go Go Gadget Weight Loss! The flip side is that because I don't eat a ton of fatty shit any more I've usually got a lot of bile just kinda chilling out in my gallbladder waiting to help me on the off chance I do suddenly eat something super fatty.

This was the first year in a long time that I’ve not volunteered with the convention, I was just an attendee. More, I was a commuter attendee. I stayed at home in the evenings and either drove (Friday/Saturday) or hired a ride-share car (Sunday) to get there. A lot of my perspective this year is based on the fact that I wasn’t a fully invested volunteer or full-time attendee.

As always, the volunteers have my utmost gratitude for the effort they pour into making Further Confusion happen. It’s not an easy or insignificant contribution of personal time, personal energy, and personal resources for the benefit of the community for what ultimately boils down to love for the fandom–for the people who inhabit the fandom–that has given so much to them. Though I’d taken a break from it for FC2017 I’d be completely remiss not to say this first: Further Confusion’s volunteers at every level continue to impress me.

Until this year I’d always thought that the San Jose Convention Center was a poor location for Further Confusion. The event space it had been stuck with was less than ideal, one of the most significant challenges the volunteers wrestled with year after year. I deeply believe that the space Further Confusion occupied between 2012 and 2016 was awkward to use and completely insufficient for the social, programming, and business needs of the convention.

What an amazing difference shifting into the “new expansion” made this year! After years of poking, prodding, and asking Team San Jose for access to that space I’m glad that AAE was finally able to secure it! It was fantastic: light, open, not claustrophobic, centralized, great flow, good social space! Everybody I talked to said the same thing, it felt good. I never felt overly crowded.

I’m looking forward to seeing how the use of the space develops lessons learned this year. There are some really great options going forward.

I rarely attend a lot of panels at conventions, maybe one or two. I’m a bigger fan of the larger events on main stage and the chance just to hang out with friends. The Dance Competition was amazingly fun this year and Further Confusion Unleashed, again, impressed me with its evolution. Structuring itself as a capstone to the weekend, trying to pull together all aspects of the fandom, was the right direction! I want to see more of this next year! :)

Friday was my birthday. I got (irresponsibly) drunk as fuck, and partied with a strange amount of moderation. Basically I bombed myself early with a lot of rum and Coke Zero, hit up the only panel of the convention that I actually attended, went to a really nice birthday dinner with a good friend, then hopped between goings ons in the Marriott and Hilton (GRILLED CHEESE PARTY!) before finding my way home around ten in the evening.

Saturday and Sunday were pretty much about chilling out with friends, catching up, and relaxing. Bought stuff in the dealer’s room, hit the big shows in the evening, hung out with people a little more, then went home to take care of the dog and crash.

Time to review my 2016 goals. I do this because it’s interesting to look back at what I wanted to do and compare it to what I actually did over the year. It helps lend perspective on the year and helps me set better goals for the next year. It’s good to know what really wasn’t as much of a priority as I’d thought might be.

Cars and Motorcycles

Complete the Exocet, get it registered and on the road. No crazy build. No massive “while I’m at it” upgrades. Just getting the thing built, then develop it into exactly the StupidMachine™ I want it to be. (Fail)

Sell the E30 since to pay for most of the Exocet build. It’s been fun but it’s time to let it move on to hands. (Success)

Divest myself of the Golf TDI. Get myself down to just the Exocet, the motorcycle, and the daily driver. (Success)

Ride my motorcycle more. (Fail)

Grade: 33.3% Thoughts:

Complete the Exocet: It's on the road and mostly through inspection but I’m calling it a fail, it’s not actually registered.

Sell the E30: Sold.

Golf: Sold it but got screwed on the VW buy-back program. Don't want to talk about it.

Motorcycle: I love my Speed Triple but I actually rode less in 2016 than 2015. I've got no excuse.

Computer and Tablets

Replace my lost/stolen iPad Pro (Success)

Replace my 6 year old MacBook Pro personal lappy. I honestly can’t believe that I’ve gotten so much mileage outta this tank. (Fail)

Replace my even older Mac Mini turned Ubuntu shell machine. (Fail)

Grade: 33.3% Thoughts:

Replace iPad: Replaced. Wish I’d known the 9" iPad Pro was coming, I'd have gone with that in a hot second.

Replace MacBook: Apple failed to offer a compelling hardware upgrade this year and other spending priorities popped up.

Replace Mac Mini: No compelling reason to upgrade materialized.

Consumption and Footprint

Buy less stuff. (Fail)

Recycle stuff I don’t need or use any more. (Success)

Be less wasteful. (Fail)

Grade: 33.3% Thoughts: These were badly constructed, non-specific goals, I'm calling them at 33%. I did dump a lot at GoodWill and shuffled stuff friends who could (and have) made much better use of them. Next go I’m going to be more specific.

Educate My Mind and Body

Continue with the gym and personal trainer thing, continue building up muscle mass, and continue feeling great about my body. (Success)

Continue running and getting better. Run in the 2016 Silicon Valley Turkey Trot. (Fail)

Continue educating my brain: Refresh my skills with Chef and Ruby, learn Cassandra and other tech most directly related to my technical profession. (Success)

Figure out and start a track towards a master’s degree. (Fail)

Grade: 50% Thoughts:

Gym: Would have been so easy to drop the gym but I'm glad I didn't. The results were worth it and the time I spent working out has been therapeutic.

Running: I slacked off on this. I registered for the SV Turkey Trot but didn't participate. No excuses, I just didn't do it.

Skill Refresh: Would have been a hard to fail with since it's my day job.

Master's Degree: I missed the boat, did not give it any cycles this year.

Travel and Conventions

Further Confusion - For obvious reasons. (Success)

Confuzzled - Because I haven’t been in a couple of years and like this convention a lot. Also, England is a fun place to visit! (Success)

Midwest Fur Fest - Because it’s fun. (Success)

Halloween in Osaka (Fail)

Departmen-H in Tokyo (Success)

Australia (Fail)

Grade: 33.3% Thoughts:

Further Confusion: It was a blur. I enjoyed! After the convention I resigned from the Board of Directors in favor of personal life and projects.

Confuzzled: Also a blur. I was sick, jet-lagged, and miserable through most of it. A few highlights but not the best time I've had at a convention.

Midwest Fur Fest: Awesome sauce! The right blend of one-on-one social time and volunteering. I skipped the larger parties.

Halloween in Osaka: Marking this as failed despite making to Japan for vacation. The trip to Japan morphed from Halloween to the F1 at Suzuka. I spent [actual] Halloween alone at home. By the measure of the goal, it’s a fail. However by any other measure it was a fucking awesome trip to Japan!

Department-H: RESOUNDING SUCCESS! Easily THE Highlight of my year!

Australia: Failed. Didn't even get onto the planning board.

Costumes

Build two a non-fursuit costumes: one Star Wars related and one Marvel related. (Fail)

Commission a new fursuit, cycle out my oldest suits that I’ve not worn in years. (Fail)

Have two of my fursuits tailored down to match my change body configuration. (Fail)

Grade: 0% Thoughts:

Build two non-fursuit costumes: Made some motions and progress, got side-tracked.

Commission new fursuit: Failed. Didn't even work up a concept.

Tailor two suits to better fit: Had one suit adjusted, still doesn't fit as well as I’d like. Should probably have new bodies made rather than hacking down the current bodies.