#howivebeenfeelin

I want to scratch and tear and rip away my skin

I will start at the back of my neck and finish with my sweaty palms

I will pull and peel and strip it all off

Until I’m no longer held in

I will not be contained, my blood may spill

But I will not be held any longer.

My flesh will lie on a tile floor

Strewn, mangled, rotten, and dense

But there is nothing to crawl and creep on the surface of me

I can finally breathe

I can finally see

All that remains of me is a warm ball of light

And a hum - gingerly vibrating

Clearer than ever, things are bright and hazy and loud

Without my skin, I float.

I go to the ocean, submerged beneath

I become the salty water

It laces itself through me

I lay amongst the soft floor

The sand parts around my crevasses

I can breathe.

Everything is slow.

I feel free.

My inside is on the out now

Now I am faceless, skinless:

And I am no one, but I am everyone.

I can jump

Jump jump jump

And reach

Higher than ever before!

I bounce off the ground and dance in the sky

I can spin and fly and catch the rain before it falls

I say hello to some birds and give each cloud a hug

Then I return to the earth, touching the dirt

It seems that it is time to go home.

There are things to finish and people to see

So I take a deep breath and inhale with a smile

And I appear back atop that tile floor.

I stare at the pile of flesh, limp and grotesque

I pick it up.

Piece by piece.

I wring my skin out: twist it this way and that

And I stitch it back up, with only a needle and thread

I feel it now; it is worn but soft

It is breathable, it is safe

No longer taught and rough and heavy.

I stand inside my skin, ready to return

I fit it to my sides and zip myself up

I smile, thanking my fleshless day.

Tomorrow will be another day with skin.

But it now feels alright.

I can finally breathe,