#hotdamnshezza

Before I figured this out, I had students find evidence that supports their thesis, and then try to build a sentence around that evidence (using an introductory phrase, etc.). A lot of the time though, I ended up getting huge chunks of quotations that didn't flow and sometimes didn't even make sense with what the student was trying to say. A couple of years ago I had an epiphany while planning, and I realized that's not actually what I do when I use evidence though. Rather than building a sentence around the quote, I build a sentence and then add in quotes that fit.

(I do all of this under a document camera and while thinking aloud. My students copy everything I write into their notes.)

Since I’m just giving an example, I start with a basic question they had answered in a previous homework assignment: How does Homer make it clear that Odysseus faces a formidable opponent in the Cyclops? From there, I write my thesis:

Then we go back to the text and identify how we knew the Cyclops was strong.

Then, instead of taking one of the quotes and building a sentence around it, I just write my own original sentence summarizing what the Cyclops did that showed he was strong.

After writing my sentence, I tell my students that now I want to look for any words or phrases in MY sentence that I could replace with words or phrases from the text. I asked them what I could use to replace "a very large rock" and they point out that I could say "a slab of solid rock." I then completely rewrite my sentence, replacing my words with the quote.

Then I tell them that I want to add some detail, so we looked at how I knew the rock could not be moved. Rather than trying to include the entire sentence, it was clear that I only need the first section, so I rewrote my sentence again, adding in the "two dozen four-wheeled wagons, with heaving wagon teams" and my citation. 

After some conversations I’ve had with the 11th/12th grade teacher recently, I also emphasized that adding the second quote makes it stronger because it is more clearly Homer’s language. He had pointed out to me that a lot of the students are including quotes that are almost too short or are not particularly important, which is something to watch out for when you approach it this way.

Overall though, by writing the sentence first, it makes it easier to incorporate words and phrases that still flow. It also makes it easier to identify evidence that actually supports the point they are trying to make. Since they already know what they were trying to say, it keeps them from including random details that don't have anything to do with their thesis.