#hos2

Moving suddenly, Tamuril picked up the book in her lap and threw it across the room, watching it smack off the bedside table, sending the stack of parchment she kept there spilling across the room. She didn’t move to pick it up, just sat there staring, wishing she could scream. It was too much. His memory was too much, it was suffocating her. She just needed him and there was nothing she could do to soothe the desperate feeling.

“Tamuril..” The gentle voice sounded from her doorway, like autumn rain. 

Tamuril turned her head, gaze landing on Arwen as she lingered there, watching her friend in her grief. 

“Arwen..” She breathed, moving to stand. Arwen rushed to close the space between them, wrapping her arms around her friend, holding her close. 

Tamuril clutched her, squeezing her eyes shut as she basked in Arwen’s comforting glow for a few long, quiet moments. Then she pulled back, doing her best impression of a smile that she knew somehow didn’t quite hit the mark.

“Let me help you tidy these away.” Arwen smiled kindly, moving away to collect the parchment off the floor and restack it neatly beside the bed. 

“You don’t have to…” Tamuril began to protest, moving over and picking the book off the floor, but Arwen held up her hand to quiet her. 

“I don’t mind.”

Arwen never seemed to mind. She was lovely. Utterly wonderful, the best kind of friend you could hope for. Tamuril would usually have been returning from Lothlorien with her… but of course this time she hadn’t gone. There was nothing there for her, not anymore, and it would only hurt too much. 

“Have you been back long?” Tamuril asked, eager to fill the silence in a way she hadn’t been in days. Her head was truly tormenting her today.

“I just returned.” Arwen told her, smiling as she moved to sit down on the edge of the bed, pulling Tamuril down beside her. 

“You came straight here?” Tamuril bit her lip lightly, feeling a bubble of guilt. She didn’t want to be a burden, least of all to Arwen. 

“I wanted to see you.” Arwen assured her, placing a hand over hers and giving her a pointed look.

“Well, I appreciate it.” Tamuril said to her. “I’m sure your father wants to see you, too.” She smiled softly.

“Ah, he shall see me at dinner!” Arwen smiled, waving her hand. “This is our time. Besides, he’s in important meetings for the rest of the afternoon.”

“Is he?” Tamuril wondered why she wasn’t aware of that but she supposed it had been a while since she’d really been… checked in. 

She wondered what the meetings were about but most of her just didn’t truly care. It was none of her business. The War was over and even if it hadn’t been, she would have wanted no part of it.

The two spent the afternoon in Tamuril’s room, talking. Arwen caught her friend up on everything that had happened on her trip, careful to mind her words and not let anything linger too close to Haldir, though she desperately wanted Tamuril to talk to her.

By the time dinner came around, Tamuril began to protest that she simply wasn’t hungry. Arwen, however, would have none of it. She stood up and gave her friend a look.

“You will get changed and meet me outside or I will personally drag you from this chamber myself.” She gave Tamuril a teasing smile, drifting out of the door and down the corridor towards her own room.

Tamuril sighed to herself but, dutifully, she stood up and crossed the room to her wardrobe. She picked out a simple black dress and changed, braided a few strands of her hair back, and then went to wait for Arwen in the corridor. 

Arwen reappeared not long after, looking fresh and beautiful as ever. She smiled at Tamuril, linking her arm through the other woman’s, and walking with her towards the dining area. Tamuril hadn’t been eating as well as she probably should have been lately. Truthfully, she had been forgoing a lot of self care in the time following Haldir’s death. Lindir had been pretty good about bringing her meals and snacks to her room when he checked in on her and she appreciated it but she didn’t want to make anybody go out of their way for her. She didn’t want to burden anybody.

Tamuril glanced around as they approached, moving to sit at Lord Elrond’s table as always. To Tamuril’s surprise, she spotted a familiar looking crown upon the head of the elf seated beside Elrond. The two were in deep conversation as Arwen and Tamuril approached. Arwen gave her father a kiss on the cheek and sat down next to Tamuril, across the table. Elrond and his guest both looked up. Elrond smiled.

“It’s nice to see you, Tamuril.” He offered gently. 

Tamuril forced a little smile back, gaze flickering from his grey eyes to the electric blue ones now fixed on her from his right. “King Thranduil. I didn’t know you were with us.”

“Indeed.” Thranduil tilted his head just slightly, regarding her. “From what I hear, you are too shut up in your rooms to notice much of anything at all.”

Elrond’s head jerked to the side and he leveled a deep glare towards the Elvenking which was pointedly ignored.

Tamuril lowered her gaze and moved to pick at the food on the plate in front of her. Nobody had spoken to her that way in a long time, mostly because she hadn’t seen Thranduil himself in a long time, but also because it was an unspoken knowledge that she was ‘fragile’. Truthfully, she didn’t see any lie in his words and part of her sort of appreciated the fact he said it like it is. 

Still, Elrond was not amused and his displeasure was clear on his face. Thranduil paid him no attention, lifting a goblet of wine to his lips instead, mostly to hide the ghost of a smirk that had graced his expression.

The rest of dinner passed uneventfully. Tamuril was mostly quiet, answering Arwen and Elrond where polite. Thranduil didn’t speak to her again but she was pretty sure she could feel his gaze on her every so often. She didn’t look up to meet his eyes, though she couldn’t help but be curious.

It’s not as though the two were strangers. Tamuril had met Thranduil enough times to be familiar enough with him and his son Legolas. Growing up under the care and protection of Lord Elrond had seen her go along with Elrond for some meetings in Mirkwood over the years. Not every single one of course, but enough, and Thranduil had obviously seen and been around her when he was in Rivendell. She wouldn’t say they were close but she didn’t have anything against him. He could have an attitude and she had been the victim of it a few times but he was a strict yet just ruler and a strong warrior. Haldir had admired him.

And just like that, her mood plummeted once more, her stomach dropping into her toes. She let her spoon drop and hurriedly stood up. 

All eyes turned on her and she wanted to shrivel up into a little ball and disappear.