related to your āi know i need to be the pharoga fluff i want to see in this world but also i just want to read it not write it rnā post and since it seemed you had a bad day after your other post, here is something for you. I hope you like it. Just fyi I am no native speaker and it is REALLY late over here, so please ignore any word and grammar faults ^^ (I am sure I will hate myself tomorrow when I find mistakes by myself I simply overread now at this ungodly hour XD).
The reason why I have to link you like this is that my message was too long for the āAsk me anythingā box and the messenger for some reason doesnāt work currently.
āWhy?!ā , Nadir yelled, āWhy are you like that? What have I ever done to you that you treat me this way, eh?ā
With power that surprised himself he had pushed Erik against the wall, his hands gripped his shirt in the height of the skeleton-like chest. He felt his muscles trembling under his aggression. It felt like it now broke trough the surface after years of holding back.
āI understand nothing anymore! For some silly reason I still thought we were friends. But after that ā¦ So what, eh? What is it that you want from me?ā
Erik didnāt even try to defend himself, nothing. He felt weak when Nadir used his full strength to press his body against the cold stone. He didnāt care, it felt like all of his own power was gone by now. He was so tired. After years of fighting back his secret yearning, he simply wasnāt able to do it anymore. Yet the words he wanted to say so badly came out so hard.
āI ā¦ I ā¦ā , he stuttered.
āWhat?ā , Nadir shouted impatient, while he pressed him even harder against the wall, āWhat, Erik?ā
āI ā¦ since I met you ā¦ā , Erikās eyes searched Nadirās only for a brief moment, then he lost his courage and looked away, while Nadir got a little confused by what he heard.
He didnāt dare to push Erik again for he was suddenly afraid to make him stop talking, if he asked one single question more. He still kept him against the stone, but now it was no longer aggression, but suspense which made him do that. And actually, after a while of Nadir holding his breath Erik continued his sentence:
āSince I met you, I ā¦ I wished you would touch me ā¦ā , his eyes flew up to his again, but only for a second, ā ā¦ just ā¦ once.ā
Nadir could hear how Erikās breathing speeded up after he had said his confession, he could even feel his heartbeat which hammered under his right hand. His words echoed in his head and he still listened to them in disbelief as if he didnāt neither trust his ears nor his memory.
āYou want me to touch you?ā , he asked doubting.
āI know it is too much asked.ā , Erikās face again looked to the ground, his appearence the one of a child that knew it had done something bad and would be punished for it, āI have no right to request this from you. Why should someone so beautiful like you ever touch something so ugly like me?ā
Nadir couldnāt help but blush by hearing Erik using the word ābeautifulā to describe him. A smile stole on his lips which remained unseen by the nervous man for he still looked to the ground. Nadir didnāt hesitate a minute, he didnāt even give himself the time to think. His fingers already began to fiddle on the cords of the mask. Carefully he took it off and laid it on the ground. Erik shivered, now exposed to him in a way he had always tried to avoid. But not now. He hadnāt even tried to keep him from removing the mask. A fact which Nadir registered with enormous disbelief, but at the same time he didnāt pay any attention to it. The forefinger of his right hand went up to Erikās chin, forcing him gently to lift his face.
āYou have never been ugly to me.ā , he said, smiling at him while his thumb drew the lines of Erikās thin lips.
The sentence made Erik look him in the eyes, surprised by what he heard, overwhelmed by the tender and unknown caress he felt on his mouth. He wasnāt able to do or say anything, only tears started to flow down his sunken cheeks uncontrolled. Nadirās left hand joined his right one to frame Erikās face. Both his thumbs now tried to wipe away the warm drops which left sparkling paths on Erikās cold, leather-like skin. But there was no way to succeed. to stop the running tears. Never! Erikās heart broke in that very moment ā Nadir could see and even feel it - Ā not because of pain, but because of tenderness which was acutally given to him, gently and voluntarily, a gift sent from Heaven and yet a burden too heavy to carry. Seeing Erik like this made his own heart want to take care of him, to be there for him like nobody had ever been before. In his appearance and behaviour Nadir could recognize all the cruelty and pain Erik had been through in his life and he wanted to cure every scar, every hurtful memory. And before he knew what he was doing the touch of his hands grew intense, almost desperate and he stretched to press a gentle, careful kiss on Erikās lips.
