#hopeisnowhere

He’s a great guy. I met him a couple years ago and an easy friendship formed. Albert Martinez is the type of friend you can party or go to a movie with but what I always liked most was that he is the kind of friend that you can talk to. Always the first one to ask how you’ve been or where life was leading you, I was shocked to learn his answers to those very questions. Off the record he shared a bit of his story with me so when I had the opportunity to write a personality piece I immediately thought of him. His story fascinates me because of the strength that I see in it but also because of the raw pain that is evident when he tells it. He is a man that went through something that changed him and I was honored that he allowed me to ask some of those personal questions that most shy away from. So the interview is finished and the story is written but the experience was eye opening. Hope you like it Nick Miller! Keep on keeping on.

xoxo, Ash.

Nov. 17, 2012

Hope is Now Here

“I was just so convinced I would not be here. Death, that was the solution. Death was welcoming.” Sitting on a tan sofa in the downstairs den of a friends home, Albert Martinez looks every bit the typical 27 year old man. Calm and easy mannered, one would be surprised to learn that the seemingly happy person before them once struggled with depression as well as some well kept secrets. Sipping on his cold glass of soda, Martinez is quiet for a moment as he remembers what it was like to want to die. “Not really dealing with a lot of issues in my early twenties drove me to depression and after being convinced that my life wasn’t worth living and just being afraid of failure, I attempted suicide,” he said.

Martinez, born and raised in Southern California, grew up in a happy home. From early on he was sure that he wanted to be a family man. The type of man his kids could look up to and depend on. By the time he reached his early twenties he was on his way. Married and with a son, he was content to live the life of a husband and father but much to his dismay his marriage began to crumble. After four years together, the couple decided to end their relationship for good. For Martinez, the divorce was seen as a personal failure and over the course of the next couple years it would haunt him.

Determined to rebuild, Martinez attempted to adjust to his new life but each change was another reminder of how things were not working out. He was losing time with his son whom he adored and the single life was not what he expected. It seemed as if the odds were not in his favor. On top of his own personal demons there were life’s lemons. In the span of a year he faced the death of loved ones, failed business ventures, and a the always mounting pressure of his own standards. Seeking attention and acceptance from everyone and anyone, he began his downward spiral. Drugs, alcohol, women, lying and manipulation became routine and before he knew it he was someone he didn’t recognize. Martinez was lost. At 26, his life was falling apart. Faced with such overwhelming emotions, most would assume he would turn to those closest to him but he had become a master at keeping secrets. It wasn’t until Martinez, intoxicated and upset, attempted to take his own life that the true finally came out.

Laying in a hospital bed, isolated from the real world he began his recovery. Albert describes that moment in his life as an attempt to make others understand the pain he alone carried. During the first few days of his stay he was still sure his life was over. Alone again, he had little choice but to evaluate the situation. It was then that the process of healing began. “I just took a few concentrated months and was soul searching,” said Albert. “ A community came and loved me unconditionally and they kept reminding me that my life was worth it and that I had a lot to offer. Sometimes I think that we’re so blind to ourselves that we can’t see that.”

Slowly but surely, Albert began to assess the problems that prevented him from going forward. Now months later, he is able to look at life in a different way. Rather than take a bad moment and dwell, he can take it for what it’s worth and keep moving. He can wake up and see the sun rise and find joy where there was none before. The light is just not only illuminating, it is inspiring.

While going through one of life’s battles, Albert began writing his story. It started off as a way for him to express himself but always the creator, his project grew into somethings he hadn’t expected. Albert took his experiences and told a story, which is now being made into a documentary as well as a website aimed at helping others. Along with the creative minds of Dennis Chung and Gabriel Zuniga, both of whom are also known for their YouTube channel Original Knockoffs, the filming process has started.

Albert has dubbed the project “Hope is Now Here” as a reminder of what he went through. “Hope looks different to everyone. It really is about perspective,” he says. His mission is to be able to feature the many stories out there. Each different but equally important.

Dealing with his own self image and worth has been something that Albert has struggled with. After this experience he is able to see himself in others. He can look at someone in the midst of their own struggle and see where he was just a few short months ago, only now he is the one reaching out to help. Everyday he is inspired by others with similar goals. People doing great things to help complete strangers simply because it is what they believe to be right. “I only started to find my healing and I’ll lose it if I don’t serve,” says Albert. “If I don’t reach out to people, I’ll forget myself.”

Despite the fact that only seven months have passed, Albert is moving forward with a renewed love for life. He is no longer the man who sat alone in his dark living room, preparing his own demise. Now he welcomes a new day and takes pleasure in knowing that he has a future. Both the website and movie are scheduled to be revealed early next year but Albert is already well into the creative process. His hope is here now.