Can they be angsty questions? Cause I've been thinking about how Old Hook had left everything behind, his ship, his crew/friends, his fame, to care for his daughter... and there must have been so many lonely days until Alice would be old enough to play and/or talk with him. I'm thinking whether he tried to "push" negative thoughts away in order to focus on raising Alice, but when he was separated from her, they all came back crushing down on him and that's why he ended up the way he did.
Awwww... Now Iām sad :( Thanks! XD
I think Wish Hook had to have done a lot of evolving up in that tower. A lot of introspection. A lot of self-discovery. A lot of trial-and-error, and a lot of learning. About himself, and about the world in general. He learned to keep house. He learned to cook. He learned to paint. He learned to braid hair. He learned to play chess. He likely read countless books.
And I think, more so than being swamped by loneliness and sadness... I think maybe he learned to deal with his emotions. His grief, his sorrow, his loneliness, his anger... Thatās what allowed him to turn to Rumplestiltskin for help when it came to freeing Alice from the tower. He still hated the guy, yeah, still wouldāve liked to have seen him dead... but he was able to deal with those feelings and do what needed to be done for his daughterās sake.
So... actually... I think Wish Hook was in a pretty good place, emotionally, when he was raising Alice for those first ten years or so. He had his priorities right. He was seeing the bigger picture. He was bettering himself and using his time wisely. I think, all things considered, those were probably the happiest ten years that Wish Hook had in his entire life.
Ah, but then that asshole Ahab had to show up and hit him in the one place he hadnāt evolved: His pride. Because he was so isolated in that tower, he didnāt really have to deal with the way other people saw him. The only person he spent a lot of time with was Alice, and she adored him. He clearly kept a very low profile during those years, as none of his enemies ever found the tower. Smee obviously wouldnāt have given up Hookās secrets, and Wish Regina was in hiding, herself. The ultimate fate of Captain Hook wouldāve been a mystery to everyone, and everyone loves a mystery!
But a mystery is only a mystery so long as it stays unknown. And a legendary pirate whose whereabouts and fate are unknown is only revered until he shows up in a pub with gray hair and laugh lines and a kid. And while Wish Hook had developed a tough enough skin to approach Rumple for help and to put Alice first (in almost everything), he was simply unable to handle the fact that now his fate was known and... he was being laughed off as a failure of a pirate.
Itās easy to say that he put his pride before Aliceās well-being, and thatās true, but I think something ought to be said for the fact that he consciously chose to put Aliceās happiness and well-being over everything else in his life for the ten years preceding this event. He only failed at doing so when he was confronted with something he hadnāt had to deal with before and wasnāt prepared to deal with. His baser instincts, his human foibles, won out briefly - and it was only a brief lapse, as Itās clear once he wins that duel that he knows exactly what heās done wrong, and precisely why it was a terrible choice... and he consciously rejects his own behavior.
And thatās what ultimately broke him. He had evolved so much, learned so much, opened his heart and mind so much... that he knew he had made a wrong decision. He was ashamed of it, and angry with himself... but determined to set it right and learn from the experience, to better himself.
Except he wasnāt allowed to. That single mistake cost him his daughter, the one relationship he had and the very reason for him becoming the man he was. I think if Gothel had just shown up and cursed them for no reason, Wish Hook wouldnāt have become the shell of a man that we saw in 6x11 and 7x02. Because he would clearly be blameless in the event. He would fight and claw and scramble for a cure just as diligently... but he wouldnāt have hated himself more and more with every second that passed without one.
And really... that self-hatred, that self-mockery of the fearless pirate he once was and foolishly lost his daughter trying to still be, is what we see when we look at Old Hook. Heās become the very laughing stock that he feared Ahab would turn him into. More than that, even. And perhaps, on some level, he even chose that precise path as a fitting penance for that brief moment that he valued his legacy as Captain Hook over his daughterās well-being. Heās destroyed that legacy, destroyed himself, ensuring he can never make that mistake again.
And it was only when Emma proved to him that he was worthyĀ of a second chance that he forgave himself and did what he shouldāve been allowed to do from the very beginning - learn from his mistake and evolve.
