Aug 24, 2018
I figured that I loved you after I’ve found myself. Now everything that I write is about you, and I’m losing myself.
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I figured that I loved you after I’ve found myself. Now everything that I write is about you, and I’m losing myself.
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Won’t you wish me a happy birthday? Or do you know the wish won’t come true as long as I don’t have you?
عايزاك
عايزة ابقى معاك
انت و بس
دلوقتي
و مفيش غيرنا
حضنك كان حلو اوي في الحلم
حلو اوي يا هوبتي
When we first met, I never thought you would be so important to me. The days passed and you put a smile on my face by every night no matter how much I cried during the day. The years passed and I grew closer to you, I needed you with every step I took, but I was running and you were still taking baby steps. By the time I turned back and you caught up I looked at your heart and it was different. I held you so high in mine, while i was just another face in yours. I loved you, with every ounce of love I had left in me. I still love you, although you are the reason my heart aches with every breath I take. I never thought losing you would hurt so much. Some days I get so intoxicated I forget, but they play our songs and I can’t help but let my eyes do the thing with the tears that makes me look like a weak little girl hungover her stupid ex.
I miss you. I remember thinking what would happen if you died, and my heart would get all twitchy and I would pull my hair and scream at the thought cause I couldn’t picture my life without you. Now you are still alive, but not in my life, and I wish you were dead because at least then it wouldn’t be your choice to leave me.
I wish I was dead, maybe then not being with you wouldn’t hurt so much.
I wish I had amnesia, and forgot you and everyone in my life, and just woke up everyday thinking I was a bird or something.
I wish I can get over you, but its not that easy letting go when you don’t want to let go but have to.
I hate you, for all the great memories you engraved in my heart, for all the times I yearned for your hug, for all the times I felt alone hoping you would come back and save me, for all the love you gave me and suddenly took away, for not explaining why would you ever let me go, and most importantly, for not letting me hate you because you will forever be the love of my life.
I wish my forever would end soon unless you are part of it.