#hons!

               However, at your question, the only thought taking up every space in his mind is the question: What does he do now? Does he answer you? Should he pretend to be asleep? Or, do he–            

               “A-am I being too clingy? S-sorry…” Jungkook feels you withdraw your arms and he panics. He immediately turns on his side, not caring about the sheets of your bed uncomfortably tangling around his legs.  Jungkook’s hand shoots from his side, wrapping around your wrist that you have retreated back to your chest.  He sees the surprise written on your face and he instantly unclasps his hand, keeping them crossed across his chest, just like your current position.

               “N-no! You’re not clingy…I just,” Jungkook sighs and decides to let honesty play his cards. “I suddenly felt…weird.”

               You look at him, eyes peering into him and he gulps. But before he can explain himself, you have already opened your mouth and asked, “Wh-why? Is it because of me? I-I’m sorry…”

               Jungkook bites his lip as his heartbeat start to thunder loud and clear behind his ears, an imminent sign the songs in his chest are about to play anytime soon. He stares at you, drinking in your bleary eyes and furrowed forehead. If he’s gonna be honest now, everything about his current position is indeed all because of you.  

***

               It started with you overworking yourself again into the first month of the semester and Jungkook only knew about this when your common friend, Park Jimin, texted him you’re absent in the communication class you share with him. And Jungkook knows you care too much about your academic standing, with your scholarship and all, to tick off at least one of your course’s permitted leaves.

               “It’s not that bad,” you told him once you woke up and saw his worry-streaked face, his form crouching next to your bedside, but Jungkook begs to differ. First of all, he found you slumped on your desk that afternoon hair uncombed, clothes unwashed, lunch pack you probably bought for the day still untouched, and a mess of papers splayed around your head, with a stray piece even covering your face. And second, he realized you’ve come down with a flu the moment he  noticed your labored breaths and felt your skin burning up. So of course, this is bad. Jungkook frowns at the careless shrug you give him and it deepens when you tried to laugh at the situation and told him you’re fine and he should go back to his dorm even when you’re tucked up in your sheets, face pale, and voice hoarse like death.  

               Of course, he didn’t listen to you. With the years he’s grown with you, he always knew you easily get sick and take too long to get well. He would always hear your mom’s exasperated voice next door when she scolds you for getting drenched under the rain or standing too long under the sun. All of these were for the best of you, ten-year-old Jungkook found out, because when you turned seven, you got hospitalized for five days after coming down with an illness from just playing under the rain with him for an hour. As soon as you got discharged, your mom asked him to keep an eye on you if you ever try to pull off some stupid shit again. With three years ahead of you in age, Jungkook easily accepted such responsibility and for the next ten years, he zealously kept his promise to your mom.

               So now with you sick and your roommate gone for her hometown for the next two days, there are no further questions to be asked. Jungkook will stay by your side for the night. Three years of coming-and-going to your dorm is enough for him to memorize that every Wednesday, your RA does not do her rounds. His butt is safe for tonight from momentary bad landings on the ground whenever he has to escape from your window.  

               Taking care of you is easy. He knows playing along with your whines will get him to make you eat the food he nearly cut a finger for in preparation. Asking you to tell him another run-over of your stories is the key to coax you to ignore your work for the mean time and take a shower. Finally, letting you ramble about the most random things is the ultimate power move to get you into bed and tuck you under the sheets. He still goes for this technique even though he ends up with the most ridiculous ideas plaguing him in his sleep like that time you wondered what if the Cerberus has its body reversed: instead of three heads and one body, it has one head and three bodies.    

               However, this night was different from the other nights he played nurse because this is the first time the power move did not work on you.

               “Come lay next to me.”

               “What?!” Jungkook whips his head to you, fingers frozen in the middle of arranging the papers on your desk.

               “Come lay next to me,” you repeat, voice still soft but the conviction in it clearer. Jungkook straightens his back and faces you with a deadpan stare. The usual “No, Y/N, I won’t lie next to you. I have some blankets. I’ll sleep on the floor,” is already on the tip of his tongue. But as soon as he took a step towards you, your ultimatecounter-atack is played out in front of him: you with your puppy eyes and your bottom lip jutted out in a pout. Jungkook immediately freezes. Such sight used to affect his soft spot for you that will have him willing to consider your request back when he only saw you as a friend. But now–damn, not only does it affect his soft heart, it also instantly attacks a part of his brain–a part where he lets his feelings cloud his rational thinking and is most of the time occupied by you (in short, his whole brain–just kidding).  

               So there is no surprise Jungkook will only manage to squeak, “What?” amidst the tornado going on his body and the gigantic flash of red ready to take over his cheeks.

               Unaware of his interior war with himself, you only fixed your gaze on him and said, “Come lay next to me. I’m feeling too cuddly and…lonely. Yeah, lonely. I didn’t manage to talk with anyone yesterday and I crave some human connection, which also only made me miss my bestfriend more.”

               Jungkook is still rooted in his position, still giving you that troubled expression (brows knitted together, face flushed, lips parted in a weird semi-scowl, semi-smile that sometimes troubles you yourself), so you muttered, “Promise, you can leave my side as soon as I fell asleep.”

               Jungkook bites his lip but wordlessly goes to your side of the bed to raise his hand to your direction, pinky jutted out. “You promise?”

               You grin at him. “Aren’t we already too old for pinky swears? You’re making me look like I’m destroying your conscience by just asking you to keep me company.”

               “Because you do–Goddamn it, Y/N, just promise me or not?!”

               “Fine, fine, fine, I promise,” you interlock your pinky with his and seal the deal with a kiss on your thumb. “There, so can you know lay next to me? So I can also end your agony as soon as possible?”

               “Damn, woman, you’re so demanding.” Despite such remark, Jungkook concedes and goes to the other side of your bed. After he finally tucks himself next to you with your blanket pulled to his chest like you do, he fixes you with a begrudging frown. “There. Satisfied?”

               You laugh, “Yeah, so much!” You pulled his right arm closer to you, spreading his palm open to slot your fingers between the spaces of his own. Giggling at your now-intertwined hands, you turn to his side and look up at him. “Don’t you feel reminiscent of sleeping like this when we used to have sleepovers in your house?”

               “Yeah, totally. Can you now sleep?” Jungkook answers with an annoyed huff, facing away from you and you only giggle at him.

               “Okay, grumpy StarKook,” you chortle. “Remember not to get too close. You may get sick, too, and you can’t have that for tomorrow’s practice.” Drawling on your words, you pressed yourself further on your side of the bed to create more space between the two of you. 

               It is only when your soft snores fill the room that Jungkook breaks from his stiff position. He turns to your side, facing your curled-up form. The circles under your eyes have become darker than last week and your collarbones protrude on your skin a little too much for his liking. And he hates himself for not noticing anything earlier. He hates himself for missing out too much on you these days. He hates himself for making it up to you only now. But most of all, he hates himself for his inability to just outright say to you that he no longer sees you as just a friend but a person who’s unknowingly owned his heart.

               He hates how he can’t easily return the sweet sentiments you generously pour on him. His lips conditioned to say the opposite of what his heart meant in fear of losing you with the burden he’s impending to give you once you knew everything about the songs in his heart. And even if he tried to make up for his poor choice of words with his actions, he hates how his progress is close to nothing in trying to make you see the way he sees you whenever you feel insecure, un-loved, un-qualified to live in the world. Because, you are so, so much more than the faults you always see in yourself.

               So, even if Jungkook feels he’s still far from touching your heart the way you did his when you helped him realize his own passion, he won’t stop trying. Even if sometimes he gets easily knocked off his feet and rational thoughts fly away from his head the moment his eyes just as so much meet yours–Jungkook won’t stop loving you.

               Jungkook sees the way you suddenly shift closer to him, forehead scrunched and lips frowning in discomfort. He raises his hand and awkwardly pats your hair. That seems to do the trick as the lines on your forehead smoothen out, your lips curving into a small smile. Jungkook then feels a squeeze on his hand and his heart instantly warms into a soft mush at the way you managed to keep yourself far from him so as not to infect him, but still near enough for you to reach him.

               Jungkook’s about to sweep away the strand of hair that has fallen astray on your face when–

               “Ko-ook, I…felt so bad today.”

               Jungkook immediately tucks away his hand back to his chest. Your eyes are still closed, chest heaving evenly with your breaths so Jungkook’s not sure if you’re just sleep-talking or just letting him off the hook of what he’s about to do. Nevertheless, he replies, “W-why?”

               “Be…because I can’t write these days and I…and my studies take up too much of my time and I just–I don’t knoow, feel like I’m not improving at aall.”

               “I–,” Jungkok gulps “Well, I can help you with your studies?”

               “No offense, Kook, but I don’t trust you with my pa-papers…My program is a reading course and you a-already sleep halfway through a five-paged short stooory.”

               Jungkook laughs, “Okay, touché.” Damn, even in your drowsy state you still roast him well.

               Despite his small chuckles, you continue on, still serious. “Bu…but what if I can’t find the time to wri–write anymore and end up not getting any of my stories published?”

               Almost instantly, Jungkook replies, “You will get published.” Among all of the things he has agreed with, this is the only one he can be a hundred percent sure of.

               “How did you know?”

               “Because I know you will. And because I’ll make sure I’ll be the first person to buy a copy of your book.” Jungkook squeezes your hand, smiling.

               “You…you promise?”

               “Now look who told me we’re getting too old for pinky promises.”

               “I just sai-said promise, you know. You’re the only grown-up who still likes pinky promises–Whatever, do you promise or not?

               “Okay, okay, I promise.”

               “Hmmm,” you yawn turning on your side of the bed, “It’s already laaate so feel free to sleep on my bed, Kook. But if you still want to go to your dorm and rest, you can leave me now. I’m already sleepyyy. Thank you again for the night.”

               “Okay, I’m finally free!” Jungkook chuckles but he doesn’t make a move to leave. Not yet. He turns to look at your sleeping figure, eyes drinking in the curves and dips of your body. Jungkook shifts an inch closer to you, his hand poised near to your back. He aches to caress the soft tuff of hair in front of him but Jungkook keeps his hand to himself. This is enough for now. He just wants to prolong his opportunity to be with you like this, to have you close to him without worrying about the possible consequences of his feelings. A soft smile graces Jungkook’s face as he sighs.

***

               Your eyes flutter open when you feel a sudden movement against your skin. The first thing that registers in your mind is that you’ve practically latched yourself onto Jungkook – lips pressed on his nape, arms looped around the dip of his waist, and feet slotted against his calves. What worries you though is your bestfriend is barely breathing. With the way his abdomen feels taut beneath your fingers and the soft expanse of his neck trembling under the space where you managed to press your nose against, you’re sure he’ll pass out anytime soon from holding his breath inside for too long.

                “You’re still a…awake, Kook?” You called out, withdrawing your arms back to your chest, legs back to your side of the bed. “A-am I being too clingy? S-sorry…”

               Jungkook suddenly moves away and then he’s now facing you. “N-no! You’re not clingy…I just,” Jungkook sighs, “I suddenly felt…weird.”

               “Wh-why?” You mutter softly, brows furrowed. You then realize he must have been unable to leave just like you promised because you’re hugging him too tight in your sleep. You immediately brought your gaze down, apologetic. “Is it because of me? I-I’m sorry…I probably hugged you in my sleep and didn’t let you leave and go back to your dorm, and I’m sorry–”

               Jungkook shakes his head and looks at you, wide awake now. Of course, everything about this night is because of you. He’s feeling all these things because of you–you who stupidly neglect your health for the sake of studying, you who whine at him yet successfully convince him to join you on your bed, and you who look so endearingly beautiful even when you’re sick and can barely keep your eyes open. Of course, it will always be you.

               “No, it’s not because of you,” Jungkook breathes out.

               But he won’t admit it to you.

               “It’s because of me.”

               Because he’s also at fault for dragging his chances tonight for too long and you are yet to know the reason why. Especially, not now–not this way.

                “I got sleepy, too, so I just decided to sleep, and then I suddenly woke up when I felt you, uh…hugging me like that,” Jungkook clears his throat. “I-it’s just–I felt a bit queasy about you hugging me from behind.”

               You blink at him. “You feel weird being the small spoon?”

               Jungkook almost chokes on his own spit. “W-what?” Are you talking about spooning in bed? Where are you going with this conversation?!

               “I mean,” you huff, “most guys I talk with complain about their partners’ hair smothering their faces when they are the big spoon. And, it’s not like I purposely hugged you just to find out whether you like being the small spoon or not, I just unconsciously hugged you FYI. But then again, why don’t you like being the small spoon? You used to like it when I am the big spoon in our sleepovers.”

                “…When the hell did that happen?”

               You narrowed your eyes at him and Jungkook laughs. Huffing, you turn your back to him, facing your side of the bed. “Nevermind, deny it all you want when we know your mother still has pictures of you snuggled in my embrace. Anyway, it’s good that I woke up on time. You should have woken me up when you felt me hug you. You need to stay far on the bed or else you’ll get sick too and–”

               A thick arm drapes across your waist and a firm chest presses behind your back. You feel Jungkook’s knees slot next behind yours, his warm toes sliding beneath your cold feet. Before you can let out a squeak in surprise, you hear the voice of your bestfriend, rumbling right from his chest.

               “I don’t want to be small spoon. I like to be the big spoon. So I can protect you at night.”

               Chuckling, you try to ignore the searing warmth that has suddenly taken over your chest. Your ears also feel incredibly hot now, because of the cold, because of Jungkook–you don’t know, but the only thing you’re sure of is you like this warmth. Probably way more than you should. Grinning, you said, “Protect me from what?”

               “From nightmares and bad people. Now be quiet and go to sleep, peanut.”

               “Okay, okay, but…you have to let go now, Kook. You’ll also get sick–”

               “Don’t wanna. I never get sick,” Jungkook murmurs against your hair, “I have the Jeon Effect.”

               “Hmm’kay, suit yourself. Don’t let me tell you ‘I told you so.’” A beat passes and then you mumble something against your pillows–something Jungkook would have easily dismissed if not for one word that added to the flame in his heart.

              “Goodnight…prince.”

                It only takes about two minutes to have you snoring softly again in his arms. Jungkook releases the breath he’s been holding and lets his stiff shoulders drop in resignation. He presses himself closer to you, his arm draped across your waist moves as he finds for your fingers and intertwines it with his.

               Pressing a tender kiss on the back of your head, Jungkook mutters, “Goodnight, my princess.”

 Epilogue

“Mom,” Jungkook whispers on the phone, “Do you really have pictures of Y/N spooning me from behind?”

“Well, yeah…I didn’t know you knew I have copies of those, I only showed them to Y/N. Why did you ask?”

“N-nothing. Just checking.”

“Oh…kay. By the way, I also have photos of you spooning Y/N from behind. It’s so cute seeing you have turned around and switched your places. Ahh, I miss the toddler version of you. So cute!”

“Kook, are you–achoo!–talking with someone?”

“Oh shucks, mom, I have to go now. Bye bye, love you.” Jungkook ends the call and turns on his side to face you. “It’s just my mom, checking up on me.” But before you can ask him how’s his mom, Jungkook lets out a massive sneeze. He could feel your stare on him as he grabs some tissues from your tissue box–only to end up with insufficient three tissues and an empty box.  He grins at you. “Can you hand me more tissues?”

Your lips pull into a straight line as you reach for the tissue box by your desk “Here. See, Jungkook? I told you to leave me yesterday, Now you’re sick, too.

“It’s okay. At least now I get you to focus all your attention on me.”

“W-what?”

“N-nothing.”

A/N pt.2 | So hi hons! Thank you for reading this installment!!! I’ve been down the couple of days because of so MUCH school work and…I feel like I’m not improving at all given with the sudden efflux of feedback to my recent writings :((( Hence, sorry if I kept you guys waiting for too long…Anyway, I hope I’ve progressed a little bit with this installment! Thank you for always supporting me and reading my stories! 

P.S. If you also want to leave me some love, I have my arms wide open in my ask box ~( ;  ^  ; )~