#holy dump

Monitor is flowey

Holy dump is toriel

Pop is sans

Farty is papyrus

Hsart is undyne

Marx is alpys

Whit is mettaton

Bottle of vodka is asgore

Lillie (a character i have not introduced) is asriel

it’s been a while. Not because nothing has happened but because I just don’t know how, when, where, or why I must post. You could say I got gay bait writers block

so I got a Blåhaj now! His name is Blåhaj but the B stands for Bungus which stands for Bustling Fungus so he basically comes with 3 names. I love him so much. Just merely holding him gives me a mood boost so good it makes me play games better. My first replay of Celeste with him was a new PB of 1:06:19.037 which is a really good decrease from my first few runs that ended at around an hour thirty-ish (longer than that but fuck off) and I don’t think my parents are catching on.

I don’t know how my parents aren’t catching on because I shaved my legs and stuff. They are VERY aware of my love for casket and Guilty Gear in general as well. I think I’d have to straight up tell them at this point because I don’t think my mom’s caught on even after I told her that my gaydar is very good so she shouldn’t be surprised if I end up gay. I’m thinking of asking her if she thinks I’m any flavor of gay and say I’m asking because kids at school say I give off a homosexual energy.

I also took Blåhaj to Miku boy’s house and every time I go there, I learn something new about the T in the alphabet mafia’s true name… why does this guy know so much about estrogen?? It’s getting concerning that he knows how to COOK the stuff and seems to look more and more feminine by the day like are you not telling me something? I’m not only getting better at bracket, I’m also playing I-No a little bit. I’m shit at her but you know how it is. The Limp Bisket Guilty Gear Strive plushie is arriving in May too! This whole be gay do crime thing is getting good…

I also had my first therapy session in YEARS and while I didn’t tell the therapist about the town inside me, I probably will next session. Yesterday’s therapy session was pretty productive and I like my therapist. It’s crazy how having a good therapist and being willing to actually cooperate makes therapy addictive… I really don’t know how to explain all of the gay gay that’s been going on. What the hell will she do when I say, “My friends have been calling me gay since 7th grade and recently ever since I picked up the game ‘Celeste’ I’ve been getting called trans and some of my friends are exposing patterns in my thoughts, feelings, and actions to show that it completely makes sense without plot holes but the thing is is that they’re most likely very right but I’ve been saying that I’m not either attracted to men or think I’m a woman even though I’m feeling both very hard and it’s starting to really get to me because while they only found out the trans allegations a few months ago, I’ve been feeling this way to a lesser extent since early 2023 when I played a romhack of Pokémon emerald called ‘Pokémon emerald rogue’ and was allowed to be a black girl in a yellow and black colored fit and it was the first time I felt anything like that before and everything is very confusing and I think it’s affecting every aspect of my life in one way or another but I’m too deep into repressing it to come out about this and I’m already black so I don’t need more things for cops to shoot me over and new things for people to bully me over so I feel trapped.” Like I wouldn’t know how to respond to the run on sentence final boss either tbh. I can kind of splurge like that on the internet since none of you know me and there are zero consequences to saying this, but imagine if my mom overheard this. That’d fuck everything up.

I’ve also been congested for a while. Not related but also I’ve had to take like 8 tests since the last time I posted. It feels really good to release all of this like a Makankōsappō fresh from the fingertips. I’m gonna go beat Celeste again. 20 times isn’t enough, I need to hit 30.

Mfw literally everything is shit and I want to die but a really good song is playing in my earbuds