I told myself once before... why cant i remember what i told myself a year ago, i hate this. at least now i realise where i went wrong, everything seems to be going well and it got my hopes up, got me setting expectations towards things that i shouldnt have or just having expectations in the first place...
i hate this... this feeling of coming back to reality.
i was stupid. i still am stupid. probably worst than before since im repeating my mistakes no? thought that maybe changing my point of view towards life in general would be a good thing, from being pessimistic towards everything to optimistic but i guess this is a sign showing how much being an optimistic person just isnt suited for me.
so hears all the things i wanna say but i just dont seem to have the guts to say these thing to all of you face to face:-
>im sorry for thinking that you were someone who truly understood me
>im sorry for assuming you were a close friend
>im sorry for being awkward
>im sorry for being shit
>im sorry for EVER assuming anything
>im sorry ive hurt youre feeling because i do care
>im sorry i realise all this after hurting you
>im sorry for caring too much for you that i dont realise ive done something wrong
>im sorry for being a shitty friend
>im sorry to myself for being a social failure
>im truly sorry for being me when i should of realised that, just because i think were close enough for me to act so freely, we just arent close at all.
_im very sorry for hiding the fact that as cold hearted and nonchalant i try to act, im actually an emotional mess.